Effective Ways To Overcome Self-Doubt and Uncertainty

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And Avoid repeating

the same mistakes

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what makes us creatures of habit

Remember when you were a kid and were told never to touch the stove? What was the first thing you did? Knowing that many in denial and ego will deny the answer, let's approach this question differently. When someone gave you advice or told you to do something that they felt would benefit you, did you take the advice? The truth is that we don't do this because of our brain's negative bias, which is something our brain is biologically programmed to do so. We take any advice to give us the perception that those giving us the advice are "trying to tell us how to live our lives." Which is something that many of us experience when people disapprove of the paths we are following in life. From that negative experience, we develop a bias that we resent the idea altogether regardless of the good intention, which serves the same for any event or situation that results in a negative experience. Whether it be emotionally, psychologically, or physically. This is our biological programming our brains "negative bias Our Brain's Negative Bias | Psychology Today."

These "biases" we establish go back to the thing that stops us from facing the fears and allowing ourselves to grow from any experience we had that was a negative one. When you add onset trauma, we tend to avoid anything that will relieve that vulnerable moment. In a sense, we start to condition ourselves into settling to prevent experiencing the possibility of a negative experience and convincing ourselves that we are okay with where we are. The effect of the denial we develop keeps us trapped within the walls that we build for ourselves. To assure that through survival instinct, we avoid threats that prevent us from achieving the things we deserve through the hard work that we have already invested in ourselves through our lives. And because we are 0nly human, it can happen to most self-assuring people. But to stop ourselves from forfeiting the things we worked hard to earn. And to avoid letting self-doubt and the past convince you that you are incapable of accomplishments that you already have done so in the past or the accomplishments you still yet haven't achieve. Here are the steps I took when presented with these eight insecurities.

the perceived fear versus the reality and the controllable measures

I'VE DONE EVERYTHING RIGHT! WHY ARE THINGS NOT GOING AS I THOUGHT THEY WOULD? WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME? WHY CAN I NEVER GET AHEAD IN LIFE?​

In this feeling, we have to stop beating ourselves up and start looking more in-depth into the scenario. Have we done everything? In many cases, we jump into scenarios with optimism and confidence. With the motivation to gain a positive outcome without fully knowing what we are getting ourselves into. When a situation starts to look like it will have a negative outcome, we tend to give up and not obtain the knowledge needed to overcome the obstacles, which we don't consider throughout optimism. When threats also become present, we avoid the situation altogether through survival instinct. Analyzing the threats and obstacles tends to be a missed opportunity caused by our biased. Having an action plan can better prepare us for the worst-case scenario and find the alternative route in reaching the desired goal.

One of the things that I also began to realize is that things happened for a reason. Things don't work out, not because bad things are meant to happen to you. But because there is a lesson to be learned. Many of the unfortunate events I encountered provided a personal skill and advantage that I could use later in life, which is how I avoided repeating the same mistakes. It helped me in containing my pride, a response through insecurity to be receptive to suggestions. Thus, utilizing the task of creating an action plan. That helped reach the results I would hope to attain. In addition to planning, I began to gain more knowledge of the issues at hand. Perfect example, behavioral patterns. Gaining more knowledge about the subject helped me identify consistent actions. Being positive or negative means establishing boundaries and avoiding having the deflection thrown through their shortcomings and insecurities that trigger my self-doubt.

I took your advice, and it didn't work. Maybe you don't have my best interest in hand? Perhaps you don't want to see me succeed? Or possibly your just steering me in the wrong direction on purpose?

We all have had our fair share of disappointment from the people we vested in. But also disappointments by strangers in public social situations. Where in those strangers tend to violate our boundaries in degrading ways. One example is when you're at a bar, and instead of having a conversation with you, they tend to start touching you inappropriately to communicate an intention. Which occurred during my night out that was joined by my Uber driver. During our conversation, he and I were engaged, a man sits next to him. Which shortly followed an unsettling look of discomfort, which I asked if he was okay with. Although he responded yes, I could identify with the look that matched the feeling. When the man perceived my non-verbal cues as a passive-aggressive act of intimidation, I verbally communicated the un-welcomed actions. That resulted in him leaving our vicinity and avoiding me the entire night. Why is this example relevant? Because we are conditioned to pick and choose our fights without learning how to establish and maintain boundaries. Through social and inherited conditioning, we become passive-aggressive and gain a negative bias that triggers our established positive relationships, making the erratic conclusion that everyone is going to the same. Ignoring the work they already put in to prove to us by showing they have our best interest in hand.

One of the things that started to discourage me through publishing my fourth book was that the advice given by those who have become family in my publishing venture was not effective. Which triggered a moment of self-doubt that had me resent the writing career that is slowly taking off. As with each book that is freshly released, sales are great. But after the first six weeks, it's a flatline. Investing money on outside marketing that was wasted, I began to feel that maybe I am not good enough. Which then lead to thinking the worst of the people who cared before the action plan I created. Failing to see the disadvantages I came in with. But, after creating the action plan and doing the research, I started not only to find alternate ways to reach the best-case scenario goal but on alternate ways to assure that I avoided repeating the same disadvantage I experienced in Houston.

In growing my knowledge about the literary industry, I developed solutions within the best case scenario plan that would benefit everyone involved. In addition to that, I was laser focused on the progress I've already made. After three years after the Houston incident. I've come extremely far from where I was when I moved there in 2016. The best best case scenario would be 1. The literary agent would take me on as a hybrid author and help grow "The Rideshare Chronicles" fan base. Gladly giving them a percentage of sales, since I haven't had any success in. Mainly because I spitting out storylines. That the small fan base is communicating to be quality work. 2. Getting a literary agent who wouldn't represent me as a hybrid author. But would be willing to publish a book through traditional publishing. And being ahead of the game, already have one close to completion; not part of the first series. Realizing that some of these forums and blogs who were against traditional publishing. Became a venting pace from those who weren't able to adapt to the traditional standards. Already accustomed to doing things their way. Not being willing to give a percentage for the hard work and resources agents provide. Many already being successful at self-publishing. Which validates that some solutions may work for some, while it may not be an option for others. The main objected is to get to the anticipated goal.

The concerns I realized, stemmed from my lack of knowledge and the failure to become more informed about the industry. Which compelled me to take these steps to reassure myself and give some direction. Whereas before, I would wing it through life. I think about the actions that the old version of myself would do, which would be, allowing self-doubt and insecurities to take over. Allowing the voices of my past validate the self-doubt I was feeling. Reacting defensively would result in self-sabotaging behaviors. All because I didn't do the work beforehand to create an action plan and lived in denial on a decision I made to settle. Instead of focusing on the progress I made through the journey. I would of let all the progress be for nothing.

next week, we will go into the importance of a routine and how distraction with limits and self control can help instill the motivation to go all the way.

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Is there a topic that you would like me to cover or elaborate on. Leave a reply below.

How To Detain Your Ghost of Insecurity Past

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Gain Control Back from Self-Doubt

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The Psychology in our responses to emotion trigggers

In psychosexual development, which is the basis that creates our IDs. We begin to use our unconscious minds to make decisions based on experiences and other factors in our thought process and decision-making. When faced with certain situations, our defense mechanism begins to take over, relying on the pleasure principle, which can replace these undesirable feelings. During my moment of feeling insufficient, doubtful, hopeless, and lost control, one of the common things relied on emotional crutches. Which in these situations, we are guided by the unconscious superego. This causes us to be rational and irrational, thus allowing our fears to dictate our erratic decision-making. In addition to the erratic decision-making, we begin to tap into our established defense mechanisms that also develop during our psychological development. Which has us lying to ourselves and others, using actions to keep us from feeling vulnerable, that has us erratically engage in self-sabotaging situations. For someone to immediately deny this is engaging in a stage of defensiveness that is denial. Sigmund Freud's Theories | Simply Psychology

One of the things that helped me begin gaining control of my fear responses was identifying the ways I engaged in my defenses. Which served as a map to help me determine what triggers created the certain responses that occurred while being defensive and the actions that steered my survival instinct. My fears were the indicator of what I did next, which resulted from the fears and the past experiences I had with the situation. After analyzing those behavioral patterns, it helped me pinpoint the events that triggered my conditioned responses to avoid facing fears, disappointments, and potential threats that I attempted to face in the past with no success. What I started to realize was that I was misperceiving and inaccurately analyzing the scenarios because my fear was clouding my rational judgment and decision-making. Having me make the same mistakes that I lied to myself, saying that I wasn't. Denial. And running into the same problems in other moments of my life. Which, through the IDs and my defenses, had me deflect my fears instead of facing them. Which resolving the unresolved issues that had me internalize the pain was how once and for all. I began to gain self-efficacy and eliminate self-doubt.

The internalized issues I had, which motivated this need to get the things I felt I never got during childhood and adolescence, as I attempted to gain back in adulthood. A second chance at life, to make it easier. Became the premise of the core values and what I was determined to achieve in life. Already plagued with abandonment issues earlier on in life and being the kid who was bullied in school, the motivators that directed me was being liked and proving to my mom that I would be loved. Even if she didn't love me, which was another misperception I developed. That had me chase these things and become erratic, defensive, and toxic when I began feeling rejected. In many adult relationships, I began to earn the need to feel valued and appreciated. Allowing myself to be taken advantage of and walked over to make people stay. I was allowing myself to tolerate emotional and verbal abuse. My emotional crutches became rewarding myself with overpriced items. A crutch to determine my worth. Being unproductive by going out regularly. A crutch to prove that I could be popular. Welcoming relationships, both social and romantic. To crutch to satisfy the abandonment issues. That began to lead to a codependence on these factors to make me feel a sense of self-worth. But being led by my fear, none of these things satisfied this void.

The truth was, I was making myself prey and vulnerable to those who not only could identify these characteristics. But take advantage of the vulnerability that influences me into doing things I normally wouldn't do, which in the end was psychological manipulation. After identifying these elements, I became more self-assured, self-reliant, and led to self-efficacy. The co-dependencies I had to determine my self-worth were now determined by the challenges I overcame, the milestones I reached, and overcoming the fears that kept me from achieving the aspirations of greatness that I never thought I would reach. Where becoming a writer was the moment of victory in self-efficacy. Because the old me never believed I had the talent or the opportunity to do what I loved.

The moment of relapse and how i got out of triggered self-doubt

One of the conflicts triggered the self-doubt that I haven't felt in a long time. I felt financial hardship when my employer decided to terminate me due to legal liability in how I stood up to their illegal actions. Taking the advice given and still seeing no results on the increase of sales on my books, I began to feel that same sense of vulnerability when faced with my previous financial hardship, which engaged self-doubt and insecurity again, which enabled my survival instincts and began the defense process. But subconsciously, I knew I had the solution. I was just too vested into the fear that the same things that happened before were going to happen again. As you read yesterday, the initial distraction is what made me break away a little from falling into a completely hopeless state. Which had me develop an action plan that helped map out what I was going to do next. That helped me regain rationality, eliminate self-doubt, and hold myself accountable to assure I would avoid being in the same situation and follow through to secure the event from repeating itself. Before gaining self-efficacy, I would solely depend on the best-case scenario, wish it to exist, and have me take no recourse if the results didn't work in my favor, which not only led to disappointment and self-doubt. But also had me settle for something less than what my hard work through life should I deserved much more. Not because I deserve a break. Because I was always willing to put the work into anything I was devoted to.

Gaining control by creating an action plan

Action plans were something that I was taught when obtaining my Masters in Business Administration, having an intolerant idealism that was only used in a business setting. When one of my previous managers said that I should use this in my personal life as well. To gain a sense of control when life gets chaotic, my first thought was, "are you serious?" Which is a moment of defense and insecurity, which had me undermine and belittle the logic as they had no educational background. I kept in the back of my mind and showed effectiveness when faced with the conflicts in Houston. When I obtained my life coach certification, I saw firsthand the effect of an action plan. Especially when you have determined what your core values are in life. It also proved even more effective to map through the "wheel of life" where you are and what is needed further to gain the happiness you're looking for in life. With that already established, I began to not only map out my action plans with the best-case scenario, great case scenario, and good case scenario. Along with the tasks requiring completion to improve the current situations, prevent the same situation from occurring, and what was required to reach the best-case scenario. In addition, to reassure me of my self-efficacy and emotional wellness, I begin to evaluate the feelings that I developed. To assure that these feelings don't occur again and to assure that through an erratic emotional outburst. And to avoid burning the bridges with those who have selflessly vested time in helping me gain success. Regardless of the suggestions given weren't effective due to the current factors that I overlooked.

In tomorrow's post, we will outline the internalized conflicts during the triggered emotions and discuss the steps to gain back self-reassurance. and how I gained back my self-efficacy

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The Ghost of Insecurity Past

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The Ghost of Insecurity Past

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How I avoided the act of self-sabotage from a conditioned trigger response

One of the things that I realized when writing the book is that we are all creatures of habits. I know that we all have heard the saying "you never learn your lesson" or "why do you like doing things the hard way." Which, to be fair, as we are creatures of habit and ego. We tend to make the same mistakes over and over. In some cases, we learn from the mistake and move along, assuring that we don't make the same mistake again, which is an unfortunate circumstance. We experience a situation that leaves an impression that begins to instill doubt and triggers a past trauma that instills fear and self-doubt. Humans are creatures of habit and avoid the feeling of vulnerability and with the help of survival instinct. Avoid the perceived danger to avoid re-enacting these events that kept us in a vulnerable and traumatized state. Lying to ourselves every time, this feeling comes back to haunt us again.

In the "Journey of an Unraveled Road," I began to acknowledge my behavior patterns, thank the help of always journaling. I referenced back to many of the entries that helped me realize that I was no exception to being a "creature of habit." Allowing very degrading things, all for the sake of being loved and accepted. But it wasn't obvious in the words that I used, but in a passive-aggressive manner that leads into phases of anti-social behavior. Identifying one common behavior. The inability to set boundaries and stand up for me. Upon a thorough review and memory recollection, I began to see that I experienced the traumas through life. Which, in return, established the basis I personalized my survival instinct. All in the sake of being a victim in someone's attempt to take advantage of a vulnerable situation. That had me see something I was in denial of almost my entire life. The emotional crutches that took me into the worst situations that I avoid assuming accountability for. Developing excuses for the self-sabotaging and toxic ways, I attempted to protect myself from the fears that resulted from unresolved feelings and issues that were left by the traumas I desperately wanted to forget, which is what began to live awakening that led to gaining self-efficacy and the ability to once and for all. Stand up for myself, which started with the occurrences of discrimination, an attempted sexual assault, and the attempt for my employer to take advantage of my vulnerability in the moment of helplessness and lost hope, which proves to me that I was capable of standing on my own. Which is gaining self-respect and self-love, ended up fulfilling my dream that I never thought I would ever reach, becoming a writer.

the moment of truth

As a hybrid writer, things haven't been going as I planned. As one of the values I aim for, inconsistency, sales began one of the concerns as book sales tend to lose speed after about six weeks and getting SMB aide, which I am grateful for receiving. Which looking four months ahead had I begin to wonder about the what if's. And why am I not getting the same results that my brother in publishing gained? I am extremely proud of his book "The Dead Soldier," not only getting a book deal but also a movie from his story. Following his advice, along with advice from others precisely. As best as I could under my personal limitations that I came into as a writer. Living on unemployment gained during the discrimination situation, the self-doubt and insecurities began to come back. Not realizing that the helplessness loss of hope resulted from my insecurity began to process as a failure. Evoked the trauma that I experienced previously. Perceiving in irrationality that I was being taken advantage of because I wasn't getting the results I had hoped for. Resulting in distractions that almost had me assume the worst and give up altogether. The emotional crutching had me waste time being unproductive and going on a dating site to interact with people and grab a drink with someone to distract me from the feelings I was starting to feel. Which was failure and fear of the unknown.

what changed from the past incident to now?

After spending some wasted time on this dating app, I began to see the toxic and manipulative behaviors that seemed like a norm on this platform. Guys messaging like I should be lucky that they showed interest, asking me if I was "DTS" and/or "DTF," which followed with a reply that just sounded manipulative. Playing victims when they would be rejected and having guys using the same phrases when they tried to tell me what I want to hear, which followed them, would block me after they attempted to belittle and shame me for not allowing myself to lose the self-respect. All for the sake of the company of a person who is consistent on spending time on a dating app, pretending to be someone they aren't. Which kind of felt sorry for one of the guy after he tried to make me feel sorry for him, which ended up a way of attempting to manipulate me into spending time with him. During all this, I began researching the literary publishing industry and preparing for a potential rejection from a booking agent that I hoped to work with. I also found the guidelines required in traditional publishing, finding out that I am not a self-published author but a hybrid author. Feeling like I gained control and was originally a celebratory drink alone, I ended up being a night hanging out with my Uber driver. That became a life coaching session that followed with encouragement and ways to begin healing from an emotional and abusive relationship he had a year ago. After a few more drinks and positive reinforcement, we ended up staying out the whole night. Ready to tackle the tasks on my plan of action, I created three different scenarios to ensure that the same thing happened the last time. Didn't happen happened again.

The three scenarios that would result from the outcome

The power of peace, self-efficacy and self-reassurance

One of the things that were a common thing that I would hear is that I never learned my lesson. This also followed with people already anticipating that I would make the same mistakes. The truth is that at one point, it bothered me so much when I let my insecurities consume me. I realized that I was always seeking approval because of the things that occurred in my past. I was lying to myself that I was okay when it was clear as day that I was a creature of habit. Telling myself, I was doing things differently when I was trying to prove my worth to everyone else. This is what changed. I started to prove my worth to myself. After the book, many already predicted that I would go back to the same person I used to be. The person who pretends to be someone she's not attempted to instill the doubt that they assume they can instill. What they don't know is that they can never do that to me again. I may have a slight moment of weakness, but you can always count on me. Because in self-efficacy, you can reassure yourself. But at the same time, be humble enough to ask for help. Because the ghost no longer haunts you as they use to.

in tomorrow's blog, we will discuss the psychological development that creates our motives and actions through our survival instinct and share how I got escaped from self-doubt

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Coming Soon – The Rideshare Chronicles Novella and an Animated Seires

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After the successful release of “The Rideshare Chronicles,” “Destination Destiny,” and “Highway to Hell,” fans of the series have been asking for more from the series. It’s humbling to know people have gravitated towards the protagonist, Alessandra Romero. As I am all about the readers and the fan base I am growing, my publisher introduced an idea to give more back to the readers and the fan base I gained.

As we are not reached the budget to make this series into a big-screen production yet. We came up with an alternative, as more stories in this series have been requested. In addition to nearing completion of this series, I am proud to announce that we will be featuring Novella’s that complement the storyline that happens between the initial line, which we plan to make into an animated anime series after we gauge the increased popularity, which will be announced later in the year.

Thank you all so very much for the increased support. I am humbled and privileged to have everyone’s support in this journey. Don’t forget, “Detour to Destiny” will be released in July of this year.

Sincerely,

Frieda Josephine Lopez

Frieda the Writer

Due to Popular Demand, Here is another peek at “The House of The Rising Sun”

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Photo by James Wheeler on Pexels.com

Chapter 5

The Cards Never Lie

     “This is so stupid!” Luz said as she looked at Seraphine chanting as Harkness and Jan began sweeping the house with white sage. “I can’t believe I agreed to this fuckery!”

     “After all we been through as kids? And the crazy shit that we have seen? I can’t believe you don’t believe in this?” Hari said as Seraphine made an aggressive shhh sound.

    “Sorry!” Luz said as she rolled her eyes. 

    “It reminds me of old times!” Hari said with a kind smile.

     “Hari, really!” Luz rebutted in frustration as she saw his eyes twinkle in the candlelight. “My childhood was all sorts of fucked up with the weirdness and the superstitions my family always believed in!”

     “But many of those for me was the best times of my life!” Hari said with a wink.  

     “It’s the time!” Seraphine said as Jan and Harkness sat down with serious faces. 

    “And the academy award goes too!” Luz said mockingly.

     “Shut your mouth, hookah!” Jan scolded. “Have some damn respect!”

     “Sorry, Auntie Jan,” Luz said as she looked at Hari, who smiled as she rolled her eyes. 

     Seraphine began chanting in a language Luz never heard before as she closely observed Seraphine’s actions next.

     “We come in light and peace!” Seraphine said. “We call upon the spirits of the past, present, and future.  To bring light to a lost and damaged soul!” Seraphine said as Luz opened her eyes in defense.

    “Damaged, really?” Luz said as Harkness shrugged her shoulders.

    “She does kind of have a point!” Harkness replied.

    “Bitch!” Luz whispered with a giggle as Seraphine motioned to stay quiet.   

     “Dona Juanita, do you hear my call.  Come into our lighted circle and help guide Luz into the path of goodness and head the dangers that are coming ahead!” Seraphine said as Hari and Luz jumped up as the lightning struck.

    Seraphine looked at Luz, almost in a possessed trance as she said, “Luz is that you!”

     “You really expect me to believe this, Aunt Jan,” Luz said as Seraphine’s face grew angry.

    “Que te falta la respecto!” Seraphine yelled, motioning how her Grandmother used to do, which entailed her pointing her index knuckle at her.  Which Luz recalled from her childhood.

    “You have to have told her!” Luz yelled in shock as she stood up in concerning fear. 

    “What are you talking about?” Harkness said as she looked at Jan in confusion.

    “The knuckle thing!” Luz said in frustration. “You had to have told her about that!” Luz said as her eyes began to get watery.

     “So powerful and yet still doesn’t believe.  Maybe a coquetaso will do the trick!”

     “Remember that gift I gave you one Easter,” Seraphine said as Luz looked up in shock.  With tears falling from her face.

    “The one I left on the bus when Daddy took me to get the shot,” Luz said in nervous curiosity.

     “And you cried every night because that was your favorite companion,” Seraphine.

    “The yellow chick with the jellybean pajama print!” Seraphine and Luz said in unison.

     “Abuela!” Luz said as she began to cry.

    “Mi Angelita!” Seraphine said as they embraced in an emotional and tearful hug. 

     Harkness, Jan, and Hari began to wipe the tears from their face as they began to realize what was occurring for two reasons.  Seraphine was never wholly successful after the last incident that occurred while she went to Texas, losing her innocent.  But because they saw the embrace that Luz was waiting all this time.  Within seconds that feeling was gone as Luz screamed in pain as they heard a slap.

    “What was that for!” Luz yelled as she soothed her head.

    “For having no manners in the way you spit on Jan’s invite,” Seraphine said in anger.

     “Sorry!” Luz said as Seraphine looked at Jan. 

    “Thanks, ma!” Jan said as Seraphine looked at nodded with a smile.

    “I have so many questions!” Luz said as she held on to Seraphine, who was possessed by her late Grandmother.

     “We don’t have much time, Angelita,” Seraphine said in fright.

     “No. I am not losing you again!” Luz said as Seraphine walked her to the Harkness’s chair.  Harkness immediately got up as she pulled the chair out as shoved it in as Luz sat down.

    “What’s happening?” Luz said in a panic. “Why are you rushing this!” Luz said as Seraphine pulled out her tarot cards.

    “Because they are coming!” Seraphine said. 

    “Who’s coming!” Luz yelled.

    “That my child you aren’t ready for,” Seraphine said as she laid the first card down, which showed the upside-down fool. 

    “I remember what this means!” Luz said as she looked at the card. 

     “Quickly, hookah!” Jan said as Luz looked up at Jan.

     “The right side up fool means a sense of confidence, happiness, and light.  Whereas the upside-down fool means that arrogance and pride are steering someone away from their path!” Luz said quickly as Harkness, Jan, and Hari looked at one another in shocking content. 

      “You never lose your heritage!” Seraphine said as Luz smiled.  Recalling her Grandmother’s advice would give when she decided to give up the heritage of following her Grandmother’s footsteps.

    “The Tower,” Luz said as she began to grow a look of worry.

    “Things have to fall apart before you can build anew, mi Angelita,” Seraphine said as the death card appeared right side up as Hari looked a bit fearful.

    “Don’t worry, papasito!” Seraphine said as Hari smiled.  Recalling Dona Jaunita calling him that as a child. “It means new beginnings,” Seraphine reassured. “Because with death comes a new life!”

    “For a minute there, I was a little worried,” Hari said as Seraphine flipped the Seven of Pentacles.

    “But that’s already happened,” Luz said as Seraphine looked up in concern. “I mean, what else do I have to lose?” Luz said as Seraphine flipped the other card as she caressed Luz’s hair and looked down at the medallion.

     “You know what this card is, Angelita de Luz!” Seraphine said as she gently whisked the medallion in her hand. “Always, always were that.  You hear!” Seraphine said as Luz grabbed her hand. “You’re triumph depends on it!”

     “What if I don’t!” Luz said as Seraphine began to flip the cards.  Which continued to reveal with each card the Ten of Swords.  

     “Physical death!” Jan said as she stood up in shock. 

    “I must go!” Seraphine said as she grabbed Luz and hugged her tight.

    “No, you can’t!” Luz rebutted as Seraphine’s eyes began to roll back. “Abuela!” Luz pleaded as tears started to fall from her eyes as the lights turned back on.

    “I think she’s gone, sweet pea!” Jan said in a mournful tone. 

    “Abuela!” Luz said as Harkness and Hari walked over to Luz as they began to comfort their grieving friend.

    Seraphine looked at Luz as she shook her head in sadness.

    “Abuela!” Luz said as she hit the floor in tears as Jan, Hari, and Harkness rushed towards her to lift her up.  Luz shook her arm as she stood up and ran out the door in tears.

    “What happened?” Harkness said as she rushed towards Seraphine, who was drained by the séance. 

    “Something wicked incoming!” Seraphine said as Jan’s face began to grow concerned.

   “Hari!” Jan said. “Go check on Luz.  The girls and I need to chat!” Jan replied as Hari nodded and rushed out the door into the twilight of the midnight sky.

    Hari began to gasp for air as he began to see the lightning bugs dance like they use to when they were kids.  Which only seemed to happen when Luz was around. 

      Luz turned as she heard the grass crunch with the light footsteps Hari attempted to make.  Which he knew since, as kids, Luz always needed time to process things.  Especially since she had so much tragedy occur.

      “I just came to check on you, Luz,” Hari said in a cautious empathetic tone.

     “Go away!” Luz said as she dug her head into her knees as began to cry. 

    Hari already knew that her doing that was when she really needed someone to talk to. 

    “Well, I am going to sit right here,” Hari said as he looked at Luz, who was giving him a disgusted look. 

    “I said to leave me alone, Hari!” Luz said in frustration.

    Hari looked at Luz with a smile as he said, “You always tell me the same thing, but yet.  You always call me back.  I figured that I would save us both the time and trouble,” Hari said.

    Luz began to cry in mournful tears as Hari brought her in. 

    “It’s so fucken unfair,” Luz cried as Hari caressed her hair as she continued to vent. “First, I lose Abuela! Then I lose my parents! Then I get Abuela back only to lose her again! And get some cryptic bullshit message that basically says I am walking into a death trap!” Luz cried as she pushed Hari away as she stood up!

    Luz looked towards the lake as she screamed as she began to cry.  Which the lighting bugs continued to dance on the lake, revealing their reflection on the water. 

     “Can I show you something?” Hari said as he dusted the dirt off his blue jeans and made his way towards Luz. “You preach about how the things your family practice were nothing but parlor tricks.  Things that the hopeless want to believe in restoring their faith in the world,” Hari said as he grabbed Luz’s hand. “But yet, you ignore the magic all around you!” Hari said as he turned Luz towards the lighting bugs that began to glow brighter. 

    “They always did that,” Luz said as she turned towards Hari.

    “After I heard about your parents, I came back home in hopes that you would return home as well.  Hari smirked as he let go of Luz’s hands as he walked towards the end of the peer, which followed the pattering of Luz’s feet walking toward Hari. “In Japanese culture, they say that lighting bugs are the spirits of the dead, warriors that come to earth to light the way.”

    “Of course, you would know about Japanese culture,” Luz said as she looked at Hari.  Who was still looking at the frolicking lighting bugs “?It was a great movie, by the way!”

    “You would say that, but then again, you always weren’t the girly type,” Hari said as Luz hit him on the shoulder. 

    “Shut up!” Luz said as Hari rebutted.

    “You say it like it’s a bad thing!” Hari said as he grabbed her gently as turned her back to the beautiful sight. “I want to show you something!” Hari said as he pulled out his phone. 

    “You going to show me one of your headshots!” Luz joked as Hari shook his head in disapproval. 

    “Will you stop with the walls.  We have history, after all,” Hari said as he took out his phone. 

    “It’s just the dark lake?” Luz said as she pulled the phone from Hari’s hand as she began to see the rest of the videos he took standing at the lake. 

    “Since I’ve moved back. I’ve come back to the place that brought me the most happiness because something was missing.  But you know my stubborn ass, I never wanted to admit what it was,” Hari said as he looked at Luz playing back the roll of videos.

     “You mean,” Luz said as she looked at Hari.

     “The magic only happens when you’re around,” Hari said as he began to get close. “Don’t you see Luz? You’re something extraordinary and magical.  I wish you would see that for once,” Hari said as Luz interjected.

    “Yeah, a magical tub of lard!” Luz replied as Hari rebutted.

    “Stop that!” Hari scolded. “You always have been the radiant beauty in my eyes,” Hari said as he began to lean until the “Gold Digger” ringtone began to play.

    “It’s your girlfriend,” Luz said as she looked down at the phone as she passed it to Hari. 

     “Luz, wait!” Hari said as she walked away. 

     “I’m going to go help Jan and the others clean up!” Luz said as she glided through the yard as the wind began to blow. 

    “Hello!” Hari said as he began to follow Luz.  

     “What are you doing back so soon, hookah!” Jan said as she looked around, attempting to find Hari.

    “Where’s Hari?” Harkness said as she began to clear the table.

    “I’m right here!” Hari said as he shut the door behind him.

    “His girlfriend called,” Luz said as she made her way to the dining parlor. 

    “We are on a little break,” Hari rebutted, looking at Luz.

    “Well, until it’s official, your still together,” Luz said as Seraphine nodded in agreeance. 

    “Truce?” Seraphine said as Luz nodded as a banging on the door hit.

    “Where you expecting more company?” Luz said as Jan rushed towards the door. 

    “Get out of sight!” Jan said as Luz followed. 

    “A gentleman caller, I see!” Luz said as Harkness laughed. 

    “Sweetpea, I mean it!” Jan said as Hari opened the door. 

     “Well, if it isn’t the woman of the hour,” the tall blond attractive, clean-cut pale man said.

    Harkness immediately stood up in defense as Seraphine came to her side as Harkness pushed Seraphine behind her. 

     “Aren’t you going to invite me in, Jan?” The attractive man said as Luz was about to speak.

    “Don’t invite him in! You’re not welcome!” Jan said as she walked out the door pushing the man out as she slammed the door behind him. 

     Harkness looked fearful as Luz, Seraphine, and Hari looked at each other in confusion.

    “Someone might want to tell him that some sun would do him some good!” Luz said as Harkness stormed towards the entrance and walked up the stairs.  Seraphine immediately rushed after Harkness.

    “Did I say something wrong?” Luz said as she turned to Hari, shrugging his shoulders.

A Peek From My Next Upcoming Series “The House on the Rising Sun”

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Chapter 1

The Darkness Within the Light

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  “Luz!” A voice yelled through a whisper. “Over here?”

     “Who’s there!” Luz yelled as the hard pattering of raindrops from the tin roof of the backyard shed of her Grandmother’s San Antonio West Side home.  Luz was about 5″ 11 and stocky with brown hair and the highlights that grew past her shoulder, wearing a pink plaided pair of pants hung from her dilapidated manicured foot that was a chipped neon green color.  Her sleep tank top hung from her chubby shoulder as she flashed the flashlight as she crept through the hall as the wooden floor creaked with the sounds of thunder flashing. 

     The whispered voice began to giggle oddly, which had Luz gain a shiver from the eerie sound of the voice infliction. 

    “Who’s there!” Luz yelled as the voice began to giggle louder and more profound. 

     “Let’s be friends, Luz!” the voice began to say as it cracked with infliction, which had the laugh grow into progressive growls.  

     “I mean it!” I am not afraid to use it!” Luz said in frightful intimidation. Luz’s face grew into a panic that she attempted to conceal.  Luz could feel her heart pound with a “patat, patat” sound.  As beads of sweat began to fall from her face.  

    “I know all about your powers, Luz. That’s why I am here!” The deepening voice said in a roaring, rasping infliction. “I know your little secret!” the voice said as Luz began to run towards the door and into the pouring rain. 

     Her body began to drench as she made her way into the house as Luz quickly began to lock the doors as soon as she could. Luz began to rush towards the armoire cabinet, which appeared to be an old tv stand, as she began to pull her tools from her utility box.

    “Sage! Amethyst.  Holy Water. Una de Gato!” Luz told herself as she quickly placed the tools along with the sage, Una de Gato, and holy water into the blue lapis mortar and pestle. As she began griding as she began to chant a prayer, she completed it. 

    She could feel her heart pounding harder and harder as it began to glow in the bowl as she began to grind the herbs.   As soon as the glow stopped, she began to pull out her mini funnel as she began to pour it into three small vials. 

    “Let’s hope Abuela was right about these vials being blessed!” Luz said as she began to signal the sign on her cross on her forehead.

    “You’re more powerful than you believe to be, niña!” The voice said as Luz turned to the figure that appeared out of nowhere. 

     The woman was a beautiful Crèo woman who stood 5’8.  A little shorter than Luz.  With an intriguing robe that was jeweled with various crystals. 

    “Come with me,” the woman said as Luz began to follow.  This was quickly disrupted by the grunting woman as Luz saw the dagger that pierced her torso as blood began to spill from the white dress that she wore underneath the robe. The woman fell towards the tiled floor of the main house as the thumping sound rattled the ground beneath Luz.  Lightning flashed as she screamed as she saw a shadow in front of her, which was supposed to be a lonely house. 

    Luz turned as she looked into the mirror as her reflection was not hers, but an unknown woman that was caramel-complected with dark red lips and deep-set eyes. Luz’s screams got louder as she looked back to see the shadow on top of her.

   Luz knew what she could do but went blank.  By the trauma that began to flow through her veins.  Feeling the sensation of anxiety and burning flowing through her veins as the creature grabbed her by the arm.  Luz started to scream in agonizing pain as her skin began to sizzle, her skin began to burn with the shadow’s hands grasp. 

    In a quick reaction, Luz pulled out the vial and threw it to the floor.  The vial shattered as a puff of smoke began to rise as the creature started to scream as it began to wither away in the dim-lit tiny hallway of the 600 ft house.  

    Luz heard a scratch, which had her turn in fright as the record player began to adjust as The Animal’s “House of the Rising Sun” began to play.  Leaving her in much more shock to find that she was no more extended home.  

    She could hear the groans that had her run in instinct into the parlor of the large French Style mansion as the song began to play.   Luz started running in as she began gasping in panic as she made her way through the elongated hallway of the estate. 

    Luz looked into the upcoming mirror to see if her reflection would finally show, but once again, an elegant Creo woman was staring at her.  

    Luz began to adjust her hair, which had the woman’s reflection follow, making the same shocked gestures. The same expressions Luz made.  Luz heard the eerie groans get louder as the shadows began to creep up from all sides.  The lightning lit up the exit as Luz bolted for the door as her life depended on it.  Running into the streets of what looked like New Orleans.  

     “Luz,” the same voice repeated.  Which was closer than before.  

     “No, your dead!” Luz yelled as she fell back and crawled on the sidewalk with the raindrops pounding the ground. 

     “Come give mommy a hug!” Luz’s mom said she limped her way towards Luz in a dirt-drenched dress that would have been used for the funeral services. 

    “You’re not real! You’re not real!” Luz yelled as her mother’s gray-toned body began to get near.  Luz pulled out the vial as she began to cry.  

    “Oh, mommy has heard mi amor!” Luz’s mom said as the dawning sky began to peek into the horizon of the French Quarters. “You don’t want to get rid of mommy.  Mommy can make it all go away!”

    Luz began to back away cautiously as tears of mourning began to fall from her face. 

    “You’re not real!” Luz said as she began to ugly cry as she backed away, raising the vial. “I’m so sorry, mommy!” Luz said as she threw the vial as her mother’s sweet face turned into a demonic shadow with red bloodshot eyes.  The shadow demon screamed as the vial hit the floor as Luz began to cry as the figure started to fade.  As Luz turned away to not see the gruesome death of what used to be her mother, she screamed as she felt the burning on both arms as a shadow held her down as the sun began to rise.  

     Luz attempted to break free as her screams began to fill the air as various hands from random shadows started to burn her as they held on to her.  The sun started to rise as the shadows started to laugh demonically, filling the empty streets of New Orleans.  

     “No!” Luz yelled as she felt the immediate coldness as the sun began to rise as the shadow started to disappear, with a grin of content as they began to disappear one by one.  Getting closer to Luz, she attempted to break free as the light began to beam on the one who had her restraint, still screaming in agony as her skin.  She began to feel her body go flat, feeling every sensation fade, feeling her body moving down to the pavement.  

     Luz began to feel her body materialize into the ground as the sun quickly rose, leaving her reaching one hand.  She attempted to pull herself out in the laughter of the shadows as her hand began to slowly become part of the ground. 

    Luz immediately woke up with the sound of her cellphone that ringed as the thunder roared in her late parent’s six hundred-foot square houses.

    “Hello, Auntie Jan,” Luz said as she immediately responded.

    “Are you okay?  Are you safe and sound?” Jan said as she sounds panicked. “The storm was supposed to be bad.  I just needed to make sure you were okay, darling?  Because these hurricanes these days are getting more and more violent!”

    “Yeah,” Luz said as she sighed. “I am okay.”

    “What is it, sweet pea?  Do you have those nightmares again?” Jan said, sounding empathically concerned. 

    “Of course not, Auntie Jan,” Luz said as Jan inflicted disappointment.

     “Darling,” Jan emphasized in her broad southern accent that gave Luz comfort and in many times, made her nervous.   Because the thicker infliction always came with a scolding. “I’ve been caring for you since you been in diapers.  I know when you’re fibbing to me. So with that warning, are you going to tell me? Or am I going to have to force it out of you?  Because if I drive all the way to San Antonio, you’re going to regret that.”

    “Fine, Auntie Jan!” Luz said as she raised the white flag. “Yes, I am having the dreams again.” Luz began to sob as she began to recall the tragic death of her parents.

    “Hunny, I know what you’re going through.  I lost family too, you know. It’s been two years since they have gone missing and with the blood, they found in the house.  I worry about you.  I worry about your safety.  I just wish you would stop being stubborn and come stay with me in New Orleans,” Jan said sympathetically as she sniffled. “We both need each other right now.”

     “I know they are alive.  I can feel them. Auntie Jan,” Luz said as she attempted to change the subject of staying with her parent’s family friend.  Who wasn’t just a friend, but became family. 

     “Just stop with that, please!” Jan said as she began to weep. “With everything that you been saying is going on in that house of yours.  It makes me worry that I might lose you too.  I wish you would just stop being stubborn and just come stay for a while.  It will do us both good,” Jan said, pleading for rationality. 

     “But the storm!” Luz rebutted. “And besides auntie Jan, I don’t want to impose.  I mean, we are like family, but we aren’t blood.  I don’t want to be a charity case!”

     “A charity case!” Jan said in frustration. “A charity case! Girl! I have seen you grown up into a woman.  I changed your diapers. I looked after you when you were sick.  You even stayed with me during the summers when your family had to go back to visit family in Mexico.  Are you really trying to get a New Orleans whooping?” Jan said in frustration. “You might not be a little girl, but I have no problem giving you the big easy!”

     “Sorry, auntie Jan, it’s just,” Luz said as Jan rebutted.

    “Regardless of whether we are blood or not, we are family!” Jan said. “I worry about you.  You have been put through the wringer, and it concerns me that you, well how do I put it nicely,” Jan said. “You’re going a little cookoo.”

     “I’m not going cookoo!” Luz said in the offense.

    “I mean, those dreams are making you lose sleep, right?  And knowing you, the storm is just adding to your anxiety, right?” Jan said in empathy. “And with your persistence and the fact that they just stopped looking for your parents.  I know you are obsessively trying to solve this disappearance case yourself.”

    Luz scuffed as she said, “I hate when you’re right?”

    “Are you seeing the shadows again?” Jan said as she paused in concern.

    “You know I just tend to ignore them these days,” Luz said as she looked around in fear. 

     “Do you remember the time you were at the house in a storm like this, and I told you how to make them go away?” Jan said in empathy.

    “But they don’t go away this time, Tia Jan!” Luz yelled in confused frustration as she began to cry.

    “That’s it, young lady.  I am driving over to San Antonio to get your stubborn ass.  An Auntie knows when to intervene and knows when her niece is lying,” Jan said as the keys began to wiggle on the phone.

    “It’s two in the morning,” Luz said as Jan rebutted.

    “So!” Jan yelled.

    “But the storm!” Luz replied, trying to find a reason that she already knew Jan always had a rebuttal for.

    “I’ve driven in hurricanes before.  And the storm will be clearing by the time I get your stubborn ass away from that house and the bad juju,” Jan said as Luz projected.

    “Auntie Jan, you know I don’t believe in that shit. It’s just something people use to feel like they have control,” Luz said as Jan became infuriated.

    “Don’t you dare talk ill of your heritage, you foolish girl You’re? Abuela was the most respected Curandera ever known. Don’t be disrespectful and spit on her grave,” Jan replied. “I wish you could see how powerful you really are.  But in your stubbornness of needing to fit in.  You deny your whole heritage!”
    “And that’s the reason why Abuela was murdered!  Why are my parents missing!  How can I embrace something if something bad happens because of it!” Luz said as she began to cry.  

     Luz paused as she sniffled as she heard the car start as she heard the gravel and tires hit, which meant that Jan was pulling out of her driveway in Sidel.

     “Are you really driving in this storm,” Luz said in frustration.

    “You think I was playing, hookah!” Jan said as Luz could hear the wind in the background.  Which meant she was on the highway, which was a few blocks from where Jan lived.

     “You’re really going to do this!  I lost my family. I don’t need to lose you either!” Luz said as Jan rebutted in playfulness.

    “So now I am family?” Jan said as Luz began to laugh. “You got two hours hookah!  You better have a bag packed and get those animals of yours ready to go.”

     “You want me to take my rescues?” Luz said as Jan rebutted.

    “I’m a bitch but not a motherfucker!” Jan said in defense.

    “Maybe I should stay in an Airbnb,” Luz replied as Jan got infuriated.

   “That’s ridiculous!” Jan yelled. “Why do you have to be silly when I got so much room over here.  Unless you just don’t want to stay here and you have other reasons. Otherwise, I don’t understand.  Just get your butt over here!”

    Luz heard a noise outside as her neighbor’s light turned on.  As she looked towards the wall, she saw a growing shadow that had her jump out of bed and quickly turns on the lights.  She began panting as she began to run through the empty house as she turned on all the lights.

    “What is going on!” Jan said in concern.

     “Nothing,” Luz replied. 

    “Sure, I will be there as soon as I can.  Leave the lights on, even when you fall asleep.  I still have the key,” Jan said in empathy. “Knowing you, you only got five hours of sleep in the last week.”

      “How do you know?” Luz said in shock.

     “An auntie always knows!” Jan replied kindly.

    “Thanks, Auntie,” Luz said as she went back to bed as her dog followed.      “And the next thing we are going to work on is that pride and stubbornness!” Jan said as she hung up the phone.

What Is Universe Dilation

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Writing science fiction has probably been the best move I have ever made. What started as a way to get my feet wet. As the south help writing that centralizes on nonfiction situations that occur in everyday life. The book turned on not many. The truth of the matter is since I am happy with myself and have no worldly were value or items that I’ve been through the journey. The conformity of entitlement and engaging behavior. It conforms to putting a price tag on your self-worth. Since I am not rich, it doesn’t matter. The way that I see it when you have no limits, and you cannot be brought because you are generally priceless. You will never conform to behaviors to get what you want. The period in which, in many situations, people will change their behavior and stop being themselves—all for the sake of getting what they want. And the unfortunate thing that comes with that is people never appreciate the things that they need and graciously have.

One of the most common things that I would always hear and social norms is that you were too smart for your good. Which looking at the situation now any new set of eyes. I realized that it was the intimidation that I enabled in other people because I knew a little bit more than what I should. I mean, that is how I got into med school after all, back in 2003. But the great thing about writing science fiction is that I can get creative, but I can also remain and utilize the scientific mind I got during my time being a science major.

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One of the fascinating things that I found and is a science major in physics. As physics is the science that generally talks about time travel. Which initially was a theory created by Newton. The theorem of relativity is iconic Lee the steppingstones of wood trim travel developed at it. Or a particular idea of relativity enables time and space conjunctions that indicate the universe and time are connected in some way, shape, or form. No, naturally, I have many questions as having a scientific mind, it’s only standard. The most common time travel that we see in science fiction movies is the use of quantum physics physics and a theory called the no-communication theorem, which has a subject or time traveler not engaging physically with a future or pass out.

With the one common outcome that will affect the future or path in one-way shape, or form. In the interacting mini world’s interpretation, which is commonly found in DC and Marvel realms. This talks about how other realms and realities engage with one another and a present time. Now naturally, because there is a theory that also talks about time geometries and universe geometries trees. It made me start questioning a few things. If we go back to geometry and algebra, we talk about access points not connected, causing a linear issue. Now seen these types of movies and media regarding time traveling to alternate dimensions, how do we not know if talking in the realm of Universe geometries. That this does not affect the bigger scheme of the things that we are not aware of. Which made me create a new theorem in sci-fi call universe dilation, which is my fourth book in the Rachel Chronicles. We will go more further into detail about which also talks about a theory called reality dilation.

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What is Universe Dilation in the “The Rideshare Chronicles Universe”

 Part of an unforeseen consequence in the theory of relativity  as it  is a phenomenon that occurs when observers travel to and from a similar axis in past time tables in universe geometries  that evoke two element

  1. Changing the original timeline and introducing a technological advancement  utilizing this technology to enable a common social dilemma that occurs in social norms consistently and at the same time table multiple geometries simultaneously
  1. The event that is meant to  occur through Universal order occurs in a different entity.  Commonly someone who in desperation goes against their  organic universal entity.  Thus making those in light nature turn dark. 

      In  that specific axis in the Universe it correlates and connects within that geometry.  Which establishes a bridge that allows those elements from those connecting axis to blend into that axis point in Universes and multi-dimension.  This is referenced as dimension dilation.


After the correlations of multiple Universes occurs it begins to unite all the axis’s in Universe to blend all dimensions together allowing these Universes to create a beacon to signal other Universes and multi- dimensions to be found.  Which leads to Universal Entity Order.  Causing that portion to become a purgatory Planet until a higher power claims  Beacon Creator in a glorified Holy War.

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One of the things my dad and I joke about is that I am extraterrestrial. Which follows the comments of the astonishing creativity I have. I tell him he gives me too much credit. As he is my go-to person in my small world as he is a huge fan of science fiction and extraterrestrial. In all honesty, I don’t know. And for all I know this is completely in accurate. But I guess that is the beauty of being inquisitive and being too smart for my own good. If you ask me, seeing it now. It never was a bad thing to be too smart for my own good. I can see why I fight against systematics. Because their are too many brilliant minds in my situation that go undiscovered.

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