Looks Are Sometimes Meant To Be Deceiving

My dad taught me always to have the same respect for others in a comparable matter. Regardless of where you come from or what someone else has, you treat others like you wanted to be treated. Which, of course, back then, I learned very quickly that some people in the world don’t have the same standards of respect that you have for yourself. We all have a different measure of happiness that develops the standards we hold for ourselves based on life experiences. So naturally being down to earth and compassionate for the human condition. I learned how to put myself in other people’s shoes and have a sense of compassion for those who intentionally mistreat you and belittle you. Don’t get me wrong, at first. It was hard to do because, of course, at the same time, I cared about how people perceived me. As back then, I was a hot mess because not only was I highly insecure about myself, but I had a lot of post-trauma as it was. No matter how much I lied to myself about it, more and more life seemed to go my way. But not realizing I was an entitled little shit back then, most of those troubles were caused by my demise. As denial and pride began to hinder my ability to gain the unshakable confidence I gained within myself. I realized that all the pain and the grief I experienced were all for a bigger purpose than I ever could imagine. As it helped me find my way to a state that psychologists call self-efficacy. And since then, I have been the happiest person ever, not realizing that throwing shade in a passive-aggressive and the lessons I learned throughout life prepared me for the next phase of personal growth. It was making me into a writer.

When shit hit the fan, I began to see that the world wasn’t as fair as people made it out to be. Many of us have to work a lot harder than others to get a fair chance in the world. One of the blessings that life has always granted that, at one point, I took for granted, was that regardless of how hopeless things got at times. Because let’s keep it accurate. Life can throw us a hell of, lot of lemons. Which the personal phrase I ended up developing, which is now a copyrighted text that occurred from the first book I wrote, “Journey of an Unraveled Road.” It ended up having me come tweaking the phrase, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” Adding the words “And when that shit don’t work. Add vodka and try again tomorrow.” Of course, releasing the book as soon as the pandemic started ended up having gained a small settlement for copyright infringement when an Instagram influencer attempted to steal the additional line, which granted me the ability to take a small break from rideshare driving when the pandemic got worst. Before my temporary break from being a rideshare driver, I ended up having me create a website not only to gain my fan base from the readers. I was gaining who were anxious for the release of my sci-fi series “The Rideshare Chronicles,” but it also helped me gain material for the blogs. I began to write, emphasizing the knowledge I gained in my psychology training by using my past experiences and the experience gained from driving for my blog post. Which just kept on giving me more and more writing ideas for my books and my blog post. Which all stemmed from protecting others from the misperceptions of the ignorance they developed based on their entitlement and their toxic trait of taking advantage of someone they assumed to be a vulnerable nobody.

When shit hit the fan, I began to see that the world wasn’t as fair as people made it out to be. Many of us have to work a lot harder than others to get a fair chance in the world. One of the blessings that life has always granted that, at one point, I took for granted, was that regardless of how hopeless things got at times. Because let’s keep it accurate. Life can throw us a hell of, lot of lemons. Which the personal phrase I ended up developing, which is now a copyrighted text that occurred from the first book I wrote, “Journey of an Unraveled Road.” It ended up having me come tweaking the phrase, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” Adding the words “And when that shit don’t work. Add vodka and try again tomorrow.” Of course, releasing the book as soon as the pandemic started ended up having gained a small settlement for copyright infringement when an Instagram influencer attempted to steal the additional line, which granted me the ability to take a small break from rideshare driving when the pandemic got worst. Before my temporary break from being a rideshare driver, I ended up having me create a website not only to gain my fan base from the readers. I was gaining who were anxious for the release of my sci-fi series “The Rideshare Chronicles,” but it also helped me gain material for the blogs. I began to write, emphasizing the knowledge I gained in my psychology training by using my past experiences and the experience gained from driving for my blog post. Which just kept on giving me more and more writing ideas for my books and my blog post. Which all stemmed from protecting others from the misperceptions of the ignorance they developed based on their entitlement and their toxic trait of taking advantage of someone they assumed to be a vulnerable nobody.

I also have been a people person, as I am not one to judge others, no matter who they were—working in retail management before this venture. First at T-Mobile and then at Sprint. People were always created equally and always seen in an unbiased manner. Thanks to my father for instilling humility in me, I embraced my roots and came from. But the one thing I struggled with was not being able to understand why “people shit where they eat.” Which of course, being the smart cookie that I am, I realized it came from the insecurities that people claimed they didn’t have about themselves and the instant gratifications that they used to make themselves feel better about themselves. Which, of course, comes from the projection from the metaphoric phrase “What will the neighbors think?” But already being a misfit and embracing that shit, I ended up getting a thicker skin than people assumed. Working with people, you get many personalities that use manipulation tactics to show a genuine interest in getting to know you. All for the sake of gaining a sense of leverage over you. Which, of course, the natural conversations would always lead to probing about my personal life and what I did other than Uber and Lyft. It made me realize after they discovered that I was a writer and a blogger with a growing following. The paranoia they began to gain from the unethical and belittling demeanor they intentionally acted on began the acts of victimhood, and the slander that they engaged in that ended up also having them gain a disease that psychologist call “foot to mouth syndrome.” It can only be prevented if they weren’t engaging in shitty and shady behavior.

So with that said, what does a narcissist, a Karen, and someone who is self-righteous all afraid of? The one thing is that they are primarily scared of exploitation. Another thing that psychology teaches you is how people engage in self-preservation of an image that they made for themselves. Those with immoral and unethical intentions are afraid of being exposed to the ungenuine person they are. Many of which come from the subconscious need for acceptance. Like many of us, regardless of how much we deny it. They are unconsciously co-dependent. Which many people unknowingly do not know how to depend on themselves. Another quality COVID and the quarantine brought to light.

Another thing that brought to light was the entitlement that people had when shit began hitting the fan. Where people belittled and mistreated essential workers in their act of rationalizing why they were better than them was something that was happening when I was driving for the two rideshare companies. Using their biased judgments and personal experience, which has become a popular truth, those working these gigs have the same limits. The phrase “looks can be deceiving” is something that I adapted to and played my part as a stereotype—only sharing to a limit the accomplishments and milestones I reached in my life and practicing the advice passed from many of my mentors and friends who were successful entrepreneurs. As the advice given to me was, “you will not be a millionaire overnight. You must work hard and develop multiple sources of reoccurring income to get to your ultimate life goal.” This is why I also began as a certified life coach and became tapping into other money-making activities to build block by block, with one valuable trait that each mentor will always remind me to maintain. Not taking things personally, never give up, and always stay humble. As my most recent mentor will always remind me, “if you want to be that positive change, you are working towards being. You must make sure that regardless if they don’t deserve it, never lose your integrity.”

There is one thing that I learned early on in life when you begin to earn power and leverage if you claim to have integrity. One was having power is a responsibility that must never be abused. I found out quickly just how powerful writing was when I published my first book that exposed the discrimination and the unethical actions that included fraud and sexual assault during my service as a retail territory manager working for Sprint in Houston, TX. As those who engaged in an unlawful termination along with a gaslighting attempt to make it seem like I was the problem. I caused not only a corporate merger to change from Sprint buying T-Mobile to T-Mobile buying out Sprint. The book helped others who were also wrongly treated join together in creating a class action lawsuit and help fight against the pending others. Those in high positions that always preached the motto “if you’re not doing anything wrong, then you don’t have nothing to be guilty of” became a hypocritical contradiction that caused that made me realize just how powerful I am. That is how I ended up getting the desire to help others who were wronged by a biased and discriminatory world. At the same time, I realized it was a lot more complicated. As the one thing that hinders the act of fairness is the idealism people embrace. “You got to get in to fit in.” Which people like me. From where I come from have many more challenging to gain justice. The one thing that we neglect to forget is that we will always be a “stereotype” to somebody. The one thing that hindered my journey was that regardless of how proud I was of where I came from from the “westside” of San Antonio. Those who looked down upon people from where I come from. Are stereotyped for being somebody from the wrong side of the tracks, regardless of my education and experience. And no matter how much work ethic I demonstrated, in the back of their mind always expected my “hood tendencies” to come out. Something I embraced gave me the power to be both “street smart” and “book smart.” And “mi gente,” those who I empathize with regardless of the “personal demons” they are fighting against that give this sense of “lost hope.” Immediately stereotyped me for wanting something more in my life. Based on their experiences with people who leave our beautiful and humble community regardless of differences and personal feelings. We will look out for one another in one way or another.

Despite the power that I yield, as unrealistic optimistic as people will deem me to be, I found a purpose in life to evening out the playing field in a world that we all have experienced in one way or another. I learned never to abuse the power, but use it for good. In hopes that it would inspire change that I wanted to see and what I also have become. Because with trauma, we try to forget about it in many situations, as the one thing that we are all trying to preserve is the sliver of “hope” that seems to fade each time things pass. But the truth is, how are we going to get the change when we are not willing to treat others with respect and never assume what someone is going through. You never know what people are going through as the “facade” that everyone is accustom to perceive is that everything is going great in life. To avoid being judged for the things that they are facing. Some might be going through the same thing, while others may be going through something much worse. Regardless if it doesn’t seem like it. People have a different way of coping, just as diverse as how we all have different personalities. A simple “how are you doing” may make a big difference in someone’s day, which the smallest act may still provide hope. That doesn’t mean that you should invite them in and walk all over you. Learn how to create boundaries but learn how to balance empathy and kindness in the world.

As we all experienced once in our lives, one entitled person always feels the need to throw someone under the bus when they don’t get their way, which is when we stop the assumptions that lead to stereotyping. You never know what lessons you can learn from them once you gain a little respect for others. You never know. They may have the answers that you need to learn how to face the “shitty people” in this world with one mission in life. Holding us down and taking away the one shot we have to come up with in the world. Which never lose hope because sometimes you will find another way to achieve greatness.

In many cases, in the place you least expect. Not realizing that there is so much great you can do. And for once, “fuck shit up for the greater good.” And when life hands you lemons again, it won’t be a thing. Because now that you conquered the worst, you got something to relax for you’re the next challenge with that lemon and vodka.

Published by Frieda Lopez at Frieda the Writer

Frieda López is the writer for Journey of an Unraveled Road who was born and raised in San Antonio, TX. Through her professional career in Customer Relations and Retail Management, she has utilized her experience and interactions with the behavioral patterns, which was used to start her personal journey with Journey of A Unraveled Road as her debut novel. She has completed philosophy, psychology, and theology courses at San Antonio College as well as creative writing courses. Frieda López has been a lifelong writer since 2nd grade. A survivor of childhood trauma, childhood abuse, and domestic violence, she wrote this piece, which started this book as her personal journey; works from home in San Antonio, TX.

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