The Mind and The Perception of The Happy Fallacy

The Truth To Your Unhappiness

unhappiness truth

The Mind and The Perception of The Happy Fallacy

 One of the things that I found out before taking my Science of Well-Being class with Yale University is that when I look back at the things I have done, the experience per se. It generates a level of happiness for more than one reason. It has a lot to do with my past perceptions, which encompasses the insecurity that I had about myself and the inabilities I thought I would never experience in my adulthood. But it goes much deeper than that. It encompasses the experience of proving to myself that the things that I saw as a fantasy life I was living became a reality because I faced the fears that I had that at one point stopped me before. Not realizing that taking the class with Yale would also prove some of the theories that I gained was an educated guess based on the introductory courses I am taking to achieve my psychology degree. Still, a class I am now taking to advance my life coaching skills further. To get a better understanding of myself and a better understanding of what makes us humans stop us from achieving something that we all want to be. Which is happy. So before we get into the meat of the four annoying things our minds do that derail our path to happiness, Professor Santos, a Doctor and Professor of Psychology, also admits having problems in attaining sometimes. I am going to talk about a stigma that she first discussed with us in her class, which is called the GI Joe Fallacy that is defined with a simple quote, "knowing is not half the battle," which you can get a glimpse of this from her class she also offers in Coursera.  This means that being aware of something is not going to make things in our lives magically go away. As the irony of attaining happiness is that it also takes work to become happy. I hate to pop everyone's bubble in this one. But even joy brings some work to achieve thanks to the four annoying things that our mind does, which serves as follows:  

This means that being aware of something is not going to make things in our lives magically go away. As the irony of attaining happiness is that it also takes work to become happy. I hate to pop everyone's bubble in this one. But even joy brings some work to achieve thanks to the four annoying things that our mind does, which serves as follows:

1. Our minds strongest intuitions are often wrong

2. Our mind judges based on reference points

3. Our minds become built to get use to stuff

4. We don't realize that we get use to stuff

Why Do These annoying things Prevent us From Being Happy

So before I continue, please don't take my word on this as I encourage everyone to take this class as there is a lot of information and only limits of knowledge I can share with you due to integrity reasons. It is a free class, and you can take the entire course without paying for the membership.

So as I discussed earlier the four annoying things our mind does is as follows:

1. Our minds strongest intuitions are often wrong

2. Our mind judges based on reference points

3. Our minds become built to get use to stuff

4. We don't realize that we get use to stuff

So what does this mean? As this is proven psychological science for someone who is in denial, that is the case can be easily classified as annoying reason #1, which in our strongest intuition is wrong. Mainly something that takes place in denial is the result of various psychological factors, all in the sense of using defense mechanisms to prevent us from facing reality at hand. The same goes for us, thinking that a person can be genuinely happy without materialistic things. In the class, it has been a proven fact that materialists have more mental health issues and genuinely never reach a sense of happiness. Something that taking the course can explain to you in much more detail. In addition, the reason why we make these assumptions on the intuition that is often wrong leads to the annoying thing #2, in which we based our judgments on reference points, which things get a lot more interesting. So, where does our mind gather these reference points, well, through various organic and inorganic environments? The first one that is organic and true to nature is the environments we live in, the people we engage daily with. Our friends are peers, our co-workers. Which becomes a more realistic reference point to an extent.

Thanks to technology and the wonderful world of social media, this also becomes a reference point that we use when we attempt to gain a reference point, which seems like a realistic approach. But there is only one problem, many of the influencers live fabricated lives. A smokescreen and mirror act that uses various advanced tools like photoshop and theatric props. To make it look like they are living lavish lives. Those who use this reference point imagine what the perfect body looks like and adamant about getting that body. I hate to also break it to you. Those who seem perfect have also been scientifically proven not to attain the genuine happiness they perceive on social media. Something that you can also find out more about when you take the class. It's free, and you have nothing to lose but a lot to gain from it. Another reference point we use is television believe it or not, as we compare ourselves to the lives of the housewives and the Kardashians, which another scientifically proven face. Those who watch much more television than others tend to be more unhappy with themselves and life.

One of the most important things that we also must realize is that the annoying thing our mind does #3 and #4 ultimately makes us unhappy. One of the reasons why wealthy people don't have happiness senses that they get used to things they have gained in their success and ultimately end up not realizing that they got used to it. For example, if you never had a new car off the lot. The experience in attaining the vehicle will make you happy. It's a freaken new car. When you never felt the experience, you tend to feel the utmost happiest. And of course, you should. You proved something to yourself. So give yourself a high five for that. But what happens when you have it over time. You begin to get used to it, and the feeling you first had subsides. Now wanting a better car and in many times a much pricier car. That especially if someone in your physical world has attained, you naturally want to get one better, not realizing the things they have—in many times, putting yourself in a financial situation that makes life a little more challenging to maintain.

What It Real Happiness Anyway

We can do many things to prevent this from occurring, which is something I talk about a lot in my blog posts—the sense of having gratitude. One of the things that we tend to focus more on, thanks to annoying reasons #3 and #4, is that we tend to focus more time on the things we don't have and concentrate on not having the things we want. Which in many cases goes back to annoying reason #1. As our strongest intuition convinces us that life would be way more different if we had the material item a or b. Which if you reflect on the times you think about it. It becomes an accurate and valid statement. Those who disagree may have attained a positive experience from that experience and will immediately say, "no, I don't." But then that brings me back to the question that I am going to ask you now, "why don't you feel the same about the negative experiences?"

When I took the course, I already had some life experience with this idealism, both from educational experience in school and life. But also in the most recent incidents that I had when living in Houston, TX. Yeah, the experience was terrible as hell. But having gratitude helped me use a psychological tool called a negative retrospective, which made me look at things differently. For example, if all these negative things never happened to me, I never would have become a writer—a published one at that. The bottom line that is gathered from the class is that experiences ultimately maintain a sense of happiness. One of the things we are instructed on is that even the tiny experiences turn out to be what makes us happiest in the long run.

The class has many vital components in maintaining this. An act called savoring. Which, in my opinion, is better explained when taking this free class. Dr. Santos also mentions the kickback that many of her students have had when taking this class which goes something like, "This science stuff may work for some, but I will truly be happy if I have the fancy car, the good job, or the perfect body." So go for it and see what happens. But don't be surprised when it doesn't. Because the truth is, your more likely going to get used to it since one of the things our mind does in false perceptions is lead us in the wrong direction. In turn, comes from not having the life experience we need to make that ultimate decision.

Published by Frieda Lopez at Frieda the Writer

Frieda López is the writer for Journey of an Unraveled Road who was born and raised in San Antonio, TX. Through her professional career in Customer Relations and Retail Management, she has utilized her experience and interactions with the behavioral patterns, which was used to start her personal journey with Journey of A Unraveled Road as her debut novel. She has completed philosophy, psychology, and theology courses at San Antonio College as well as creative writing courses. Frieda López has been a lifelong writer since 2nd grade. A survivor of childhood trauma, childhood abuse, and domestic violence, she wrote this piece, which started this book as her personal journey; works from home in San Antonio, TX.

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