What is the difference of being a negative and positive Personality
One of the things that people always admired was the optimism that I possessed. Regardless of how bad a situation would get, I was ready to find a solution and overcome any obstacles. The only problem was that I had the habit of running away and beginning again. I began to realize this through self-reflection from past events. I realized I was working harder
and not smarter, but I was lying to myself about the courage I possessed. I would always run from conflicts and never stand up to those who preyed on my vulnerabilities when I decided to stop running and show courage to stand my ground, which started with the incident of illegal acts with Sprint. It started the journey to the destiny of being who I meant to be. That I always was, but now I gained purpose and fulfilling a dream of being a writer. That also disproves those who perceived me as damaged, more so after my first book. That we are all capable of healing and growth regardless of the traumatic shit, we experience in life, to myself and others. In their denial, they rationalized why now, instead of damaged, becomes the victimized comment, "You think you're better than me now?
What delayed the publishing of starting "Journey of an Unraveled Road" in September 2019 was the question, "Would I be consistent in relaying the same woman in the book?" After completing the self-help book on coping with trauma in November 2019, it took till June 2020 for me to follow through. It wasn't the criticism or the "skeletons in my closet" that held me back - I proved to myself I mastered that already. The doubt came from not trusting myself as the self-help products proved to be ineffective. Not because they didn't have value. But because I didn't do the one crucial thing for it to be effective, which was to be self-aware, that I finally proved in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, made our world more hostile, I coping through COVID-19. A survival instinct, a standard behavior in extreme panic states, has already been shown before the event. After reflecting on the feelings and behaviors I had before the pandemic began, I started seeing my self-preserving acts on past occasions that threatened my well-being. I had zero tolerance for and wouldn't tolerate empathy. In attempting to reason with these people, followed consistent acts of denial, projection, intellectualization, repression, reaction formation, displacement, rationalizing, regression, and back to the disclaimer. Those I knew that were positive became more defensive, something that was out of their character.
What is the differnce between The Two
One of the behaviors that I immediately noticed in the authentic positivity was that I celebrated other people's wins and milestones, which use to be comparing myself to others and rationalizing why I was more deserving than they were. That now has me reaching out and asking questions about how they triumph past the fears and doubts that stopped me. That I had to master after I proved to myself, I possessed courage. With the consistent reply, "it starts by changing your mindset." That also the answer from one of my favorite influencers, @boss_lady inc. After I shared with her, she was the muse for a self-help article inspired by her Instagram Reel "Be That Girl Who." Highlighting qualities such as confidence, strength, independence, ambition, intelligence, creativity, value, and worth. We all have shown but struggle in master. As in fear, we are unsure who we want as we have become accustomed to avoiding threats and running away from belittling and shameful problems. Now in anxiety and negative mindset. That turns into self-deception when we don't find a healthy balance.
While researching the qualities of positive people, it was effortless to find articles that highlighted the traits found in positive personalities. Discovering the characteristics of negative people was way more complicated. As articles, I found highlighted the extreme cases of what I saw from DariusForoux.com titled " 12 Positive Personality Traits Of Effective People - Darius Foroux." Which is my next question is, "Why aren't their articles about these negative traits?" Had me pondering a theory, "Is society in denial in admitting that we all have shown these negative traits through defense mechanisms?" From my reasons for being defensive and others, what experience has taught me is this. In the end, if we admit to our mistakes, it is the action of us admitting to being wrong and make us a bad person. As society is extreme, having people accused of being an evil person based on stereotypes. Even the most righteous in overabundance of a positive trait can become evil, as is the case through religious organizations where those begin to take advantage of the power they have in personal gain.
It's About Finding the balance
One of the things that proved to be helpful was the power of self-care—that mental and emotional self-care help pinpoint these triggers that had me being a little too defensive. As I began to piece the motivations with reaction, it became the map of what I needed to improve. But it required me to stop as, in the end, it became a habit that I developed based on the events that would trigger behaviors and thoughts. When I couldn't do it alone, I got help both from trusted support systems and through professionals as suggested to me that I should become a therapist after showing improvements as well as having no need for anti-depressants and finding not only myself but my purpose, that followed after the courageous act of fighting against illegal diversity.
When I mentioned in shameful regret of the reflecting, I would do, that others said was me living in the past. I acquired the professional help that caused the dramatic change into positivity as I wasn't doing this thinking about the "good old days" in shameful regret. It was me trying to correct the mistakes I acknowledged I engaged in. This gave me the need to improve as a person and rationalize why it was essential to fight against things that were happening to others at my previous employer. And that the isolation I engaged in on my own became my need to separate from those negative people that were more damaging than constructive. Empowering me to improve was my way into becoming the genuine positivity that I struggled to master before. When I finally reached that empowerment to self-improve, I shorted my sessions and did not need sessions. To start becoming more independent in resolving my emotional conflicts that he was positive, I mastered. Still providing a means to reach out if I needed guidance with no longer a client becoming a mentor in life coaching, writing, and the new journey of becoming a therapist.
let's change my mindest
The funny thing about this journey is that through my previous career in business, both in the healthcare industry and retail industry. I discovered that business writing, which consists of action plans and SWOT analysis, helped pinpoint the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats in my life that hinder my self-improvement, self-love, and self-realization. That changed the negative characteristics while I worked to gain the positive traits. In the end was "changing my mindset," working through the barriers and emotions that occurred when faced with future conflicts. Because the one thing I realized is that life isn't perfect and not meant to be. It's not about wishing or hoping for the things for the accommodations that would make our lives better. It's about working with that you have to get to the next level. That changes more than your mindset, but it changes the values and morals that you have for yourself and that you give back in return. That makes you begin to focus on your life with a true sense of control. I avoided those individuals who see what you are doing as unrealistic and a waste of time in their negativity.
Reflection also helps the overabundance of positive traits that become self-sabotaging after overcoming those fears and insecurities that once held us back as self-care in facing the fears and threats we don't expect to encounter success as it becomes a new set of rules that we have no understanding. As in many successful and wealthy people experience after their pivotal change in their quality of life. As now gaining acceptance through their financial power begins to have difficulty analyzing an unknown threat, it creates different insecurity. That, like everything, sometimes puts us back where we started. Beginning to lose a sense of who we are, causes severe depression, as many of the falling celebrities have experienced as they take their own lives. As the perception of having financial power seems to be the solution, the general public looks at it as a fix-all. As the humility of admitting to mistakes, we are all prone to make, enforce boundaries, and own a humbleness in the empathy I gained. As if I were ever in a situation in a pivot in my quality of life. No matter how unstoppable we may be. We always need a little help somewhere along the way from someone who, through their life experience. It can be the emotional support needed to overcome the new obstacles along the unraveled road. Only a positive mindset would present those in denial in the company of harmful and toxic people.
Frieda López is the writer for Journey of an Unraveled Road who was born and raised in San Antonio, TX. Through her professional career in Customer Relations and Retail Management, she has utilized her experience and interactions with the behavioral patterns, which was used to start her personal journey with Journey of A Unraveled Road as her debut novel. She has completed philosophy, psychology, and theology courses at San Antonio College as well as creative writing courses. Frieda López has been a lifelong writer since 2nd grade. A survivor of childhood trauma, childhood abuse, and domestic violence, she wrote this piece, which started this book as her personal journey; works from home in San Antonio, TX.
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