" A rollercoaster ride of twist and turns that will have you jumping out of your seat. An experience that will take you on an up and down journey of emotion, suspense, drama, and tragedy!" At first glance, it sounds like the introduction to John Clancy's action-thriller film. To many, it is a reality due to the toxic relationship that they are involved with. Toxic people can damage an individual, affecting the way they see themselves and
the world around them. Why is this important? It begins to affect our choices and how we start to perceive things. It begins to affect our quality of life and the decisions we make for ourselves. We begin to become prone to manipulation and losing their ideal self.
Toxic people are more common than we want to believe as they exist in our personal and professional relationships. The majority of these unhealthy relationships live in our romantic relationships. That involves an array of abuse, such as psychological abuse and emotional abuse. It is not uncommon if there is also physical abuse. People become toxic based on how they cope. A combination of both cultural and social conformities starts through family dynamics. That depends if whether the f is functional or dis-functional. If the dynamic is functional, everyone feels safe and respected. If the dynamic is dysfunctional, there's no sense of unity, no empathy, and boundaries. As well as the dynamic is very critical towards one another and emotionally abusive. Family Dynamics | Psychology Today
What Is A Toxic Relationship, Really?
A toxic relationship involves an insecure person who perceives to the world they possess qualities they genuinely don't own. This is caused by inferiority that has been caused by past abuse, making the insecurities others have caused be the truth they believe. In the failure to secure a sense of self-worth, displacement is used to gain a feeling of superiority. In displacement, a toxic person finds someone less threatening and abuses the person to feel inferior. This assures a toxic personality that they have control, temporarily suppressing the thoughts of insecurities from repressed unresolved issues, with the combination of psychological, emotional, and in extreme cases, physical abuse. These tactics are used to maintain control of the perceived inferior person. To get what they want from the person.
How Did This Even Happen?
Toxic people are more common than we want to believe, as toxic people reside in our personal relationships through family bonds and friendships, our professional lives, and our workplace. In the majority of these toxic relationships, they exist in our romantic relationships. Which usually involves forms of emotional abuse that lead to the act of physical abuse. One of the reasons people become toxic is repression from their emotional and physical traumas from childhood and adolescence. People bring into adulthood the act of repression to avoid perceiving as vulnerable, which is a coping mechanism gained through social and cultural normalization. A want that is stemmed from the psychological need they didn't get in the past. The more this need isn't fulfilled, repression begins to develop into displacement.
For me, the occurrence came from the events I felt immense hopelessness and doubt. When we can't understand why things happen the way we happen, we tend to seek comfort, normal human psychological behavior. When we feel like our existing circle has become judgmental or unable to understand our emotions, we seek an unbiased opinion from acquaintances and strangers. This becomes a gateway of letting toxic people in, which is appealing because someone show they care about our well-being. As toxic people identify that they are fulfilling a need, they begin to two things. Is the person co-dependent or inter-dependent? Which people who are co-dependent show reliability needed to have a sense of completion. Where those who are more interdependent show the ability to take control of their own decisions. Which toxic people gauge that interdependence by testing your decision-making by making you cynically see things.
Why Awareness Is Important
In the act of the combinations of abuse, the victims self-doubts begin to increase. As the toxic person begins to feel incompetent and unsure of their self-worth. This causes the victim to become easily manipulated as the existing awareness a person had about themselves and the world around them becomes disabled, which is a fear response caused by the abuse and self-doubt. The victim begins to normalize toxic behaviors, even after they leave a toxic relationship. As the victim accepts the feeling of inferiority that their abuser has instilled. Losing self-idealism and adapting defense mechanisms that become a conditioned behavior. Causing the person to become toxic themselves, due to self-doubt they gained. As a way of getting control back of their life, usually by self-sabotaging behaviors. The Five Types of People You Need to Get Out of Your Life | Psychology Today
The 5 Types of Toxic Personalities To Avoid
The Anti-social Personality
The power in choosing you
In my experience with toxic relationships, I felt I lost myself. Which was something I felt until I began resolving the suppressed issues that kept building up. I became more aware of my feelings and the triggers that lead to insecurity with emotional intelligence. That revealed that I was inviting toxic people with open arms, which reassured the self-doubt was real, which is something that stemmed from unresolved emotional and physical trauma. As I became aware of toxic behaviors, I developed core values that established what I expected from people based on the things I could give in return. I stopped cynically seeing myself and the world, which led to self-actualization as I started to prove to myself what my potential truly encompassed. If you really think about it, how can you get that when you surround yourself with people who don't even know that themselves? Because if you don't try, you will never know. And because toxic people are directed by fear, it's too scary for them even to want to try.
Frieda López is the writer for Journey of an Unraveled Road who was born and raised in San Antonio, TX. Through her professional career in Customer Relations and Retail Management, she has utilized her experience and interactions with the behavioral patterns, which was used to start her personal journey with Journey of A Unraveled Road as her debut novel. She has completed philosophy, psychology, and theology courses at San Antonio College as well as creative writing courses. Frieda López has been a lifelong writer since 2nd grade. A survivor of childhood trauma, childhood abuse, and domestic violence, she wrote this piece, which started this book as her personal journey; works from home in San Antonio, TX.
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