While writing last nights blog, the lingering question that remained lingering “Why is it that people think that they are more superior that us?” For me it’s always been hard to see the skewed behaviors that many act on. As the truth of the matter is many who brag about the things they have one common behavior. They all crutch on something that leads to a insecurity. Which not many of them have the same events that occurred are not created equal. But one thing that I gather in these behaviors that somewhere in life they were “belittled in shame” which is why they engage in slander and insults. Which those who can’t let go of the past or “reflect.” As to them, this is an act of living in the past. It’s hard to maintain empathy for those people who act superior than us.
One of the things that I remember reading about in my early studies was a superiority complex called “illusory superiority,” which is the first thing that popped up when I asked google to question “Why do people think they are better than us.” Which is grandiose. Which illusory superiority is a condition of cognitive bias wherein a person overestimates their own qualities and abilities, in relation to the same qualities and abilities of other people. Illusory superiority is one of many positive illusions, relating to the self, that are evident in the study of intelligence, the effective performance of tasks and tests, and the possession of desirable personal characteristics and personality traits. Which if you think about it, it’s a positive perfect illusion of one’s own ability. Which is why psychologist these days feel that our survival instinct fails us these days. As the illusions we have in our overestimations in our abilities or qualities. Is the reason why we set ourselves for failure.
Sakshi Shinde, one of my WordPress blogging peers ended up posting a blog named “You can’t talk butterfly language to Caterpillar” which shows a lot of relevance in my journey a long the way. https://wwwselflovee.wordpress.com/2020/11/05/you-cant-talk-butterfly🦋-language-to-caterpillar🐛-people/. Which she makes some very valid points in her blog post. As she also is a self efficacy influecer. Which in writing this blog, makes me realize something, that this is why my blogs never get anywhere. Because those that are still crawling on the ground, refuse to turn into a metaphoric butterfly. They are afraid of flying. Which a common phobia that many have is the fear of success. Not in a way that you think, but because of the fact that through that success. There is a lot of emoitonal pain that comes with it. And to be completely transparent, many are afraid to feel emotional pain. As success doesn’t come easy. It comes with responsibility. In addition with success comes shame, heartache, hearing no more than you expect, hearing that your work sucks (like in my case from those who don’t have credentialing), the act of those you value the most turning their back. As many people who dive in and end up hitting the ground running with the sacrifice of a lot of hard work they put in, becomes lonely. As many who succeed at first, end up having those around them develop the stigmas that those who succeed. End up assuming that successful person develops arrogance. Which the fear of rejection and the assumption that those successful premeditate the act of belittling, is a indication of fear. Which in the end, those who premeditate others to that. Will be the first to act on that behavior. As the idealism is “I’ll get you first before you get me.” Which in the end is setting yourself up for failure.
Many who have borderline grandiose hold a lot of resentment as I’ve noticed that they present. As many of my family members have shown in their behavior patterns. As many of them are too proud to admit that they need help every once in a great way. As when they lose control of things, they tend to show signs of hysteria. Which has many of them panic when things start slipping out of control. Which the dismissal of help that you tend to offer is never good enough. As many of them in their temporary grief say “I am tired of living this life.” Which is a moment of weakness as they all show to be appreciative of the things they have. Even if it’s the things they need and not what they want. The truth is this act is not an act of not being unappreciative, it’s just a sign that they are trying to sort things out in their own way. Which the acts that they commit never go punished. As although they might just get tired of hearing the things that they should be doing in an act of stubbornness. Which once they realize the bad behavior, they always apologize in the end. And because we have a mutual respect, have stopped crucifying the mistakes I learned from. As it was a long and frustrating process, they learned to not use things against me that I have no intention of acting on again. Which the term “borderline” is always looked in a negative way. As this is the pivotal point that you can control yourself in. You can either stop and reflect and get to know yourself better. Learning how to control it as finding your triggers and resolving those issues that can lead you to a that full fledge diagnosis. Or like many people. Will engage in it more. All for the sake of gaining the sympathy and attention they long for from people. Which in many cases becomes a lonely existence. As with everything in it’s hype, will end as soon as the hype is over. And people do what they need to do to subside the guilt they have for not being there. Making those who have the idealism that “If I am sick, people will care,” will end not being their through the entire ride and trauma that many terminal illnesses bring. As people only come at the most major points in someone’s illness. Where beating a terminal illness, made me realize that no one came to my aid. Except for my family in points and moments. Which is the best thing they could do. Because it eliminated the act of making me “feel sorry for myself” and made me fight harder. As one of the biggest fears many people have is “dying alone.”
Illusory Superiority makes sets us up for many dissapointments. As it makes us assume a positive outcome based on the things we boast ourselves in. We assume that people with stop their lives to come to our aid. And it’s a hard to pill to swallow when we don’t see those stop in their tracks to help us out. Not because they can’t. But because it’s an unrealistic mentality to have. As many people have their own problems they are sorting out. Which I always attempt to show I am being supportive, even if it’s just a phone call. Where those who are unappreciative. Will not be satisfied with the gesture as they fill their head with unrealistic expectations that surrounds your actions around them. Which many of them begin to assume the reasons why you don’t care. Which in many cases goes with no empathy on the things that you are going through. As “I am sorry you’re going through that” is the universal fix all to the majority of people. Which I am also guilty of doing that myself at one point in time. But the truth of the matter is, you have to stop thinking about yourself and think about others with limits and boundaries. Because in the end showing support for someone is not all about boosting egos and providing financial support to someone who is in a bad situation. Because the truth is in the end, in order for you to get out of a situation. You have to separate illusory superiority and realize that we all are going through something. And when people can afford the support, you have to be apprecative of the things you get when someone gives. Because the truth is 1.00 is better than nothing. And knowing that they actually support you with what they have humbly and without insult. It’s the best thing you can ever get. Especially when it’s help with no underlying conditions or motive.
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