Now GTFO With Your Bullshit
2020 is going to be a year. I will always remember it for obvious reasons. We got hit with something that was out of our control, and we were left to figure out how we were going to make it through this pandemic. Being one of those less fortunate families, it was a fight that we continued to battle with every day. At the beginning and the middle, I lost so many people I was close with along the way. It was making 2020 the most heartbreaking and grieving year I have ever faced. To make matters worst, my family got stuck with other things that were out of our control, as my father suffered a stroke that made him immobilized and bedridden, followed by my Great Aunt’s Stage Four Cancer diagnosis that crippled us financially as even with Healthcare Coverage that only covered a portion of the treatment leaving us paying about 2,000 out of pocket, it had us use royalties from the first book to make it in this pandemic barely. Now being a caretaker for two while looking after my eighty-seven-year-old grandmother, I assure you that her health stays intact as well. The year was full of unfortunate events, not only for us. But for many others, not only in the United States but around the world.
Despite all the negative things that have occurred this year, many unique and positive things also appeared out of the year’s ashes. Starting with my first published book in June. Before the start of the worst in 2019, “Journey Of An Unraveled Road.” Writing the book turned into a journal entry that helped me cope with something I never imagined would happen. Primarily because of the stigmas and perceptions I had about the subject. Discrimination and gaslighting are what I never expected to happen to me, ever in my lifetime. Not only did that occur, but the sexual assault and chauvinistic mentality that I was faced with endured during my employment with Sprint. The truth is that it can affect you in so many ways that you can’t even imagine. The truth is, being open about the previous incidents that sexual assault occurred to me in my childhood and during my college career. It was hard not to blame myself for the mentality that people gained in the workplace. That I was something that liked or would allow. I started to realize at the beginning of my writing career that it’s not your fault, especially with people who should know better.
Writing the book made me realize that the traumas that occurred in the current triggered the past—having me make the classic mistake of engaging in emotional crutches to numb the pain and the PTSD of my past life. Which it helps for a bit, but in the end, it had my meltdown in the middle of 2019, which is what inspired me to complete the book. Still, in the idealism that it was just a journal entry, my dear friend Dr. Taylor got me in touch with her publisher. And the rest was history. In a literal sense, because the truth is, I was still insecure about getting my book published. Thinking about what if’s is what almost held me back from it. But with the push of those around me and those who I lost before the pandemic. I swallowed my insecurities and moved forward.
It was about a year later that I began writing again. As the loss of so many loved one’s due to the pandemic temporarily crippled me emotionally. But the truth is, I started realizing that the advice I gave in “Journey” was the advice I was following. Standing for myself and the acts of negativity and fighting for those who couldn’t fight for themselves—having been a Uber driving being the outlet of helping those in crisis. Starting with victims of sexual assault and staying by them through the whole process. Guiding them and emotionally preparing them to let the authorities know, which in many cases began with a violent encounter. To stop domestic violence that occurred in public. Which sometimes was as simple as saying help is on the way. To physically stopping it when things got worst. Which is 2020, I learned something about myself. That I didn’t just have bravery, I gained courage. And the most significant courageous act I’ve done, I have to say. It is in two different accounts, saving two dogs’ lives from mauling each other due to the tangled chain and saving a rooster. That is now my pet rooster Pedro, from getting eaten alive by another dog. Which one thing that I also learned in 2020 is altruism is a nearly extinct act. Especially when the world is suffering in a pandemic, and many tend to worry about their livelihood and forget the suffering or hardship of others. There were very few who stepped to help others. It was my turn to do the same. And with a tight budget and trying to survive. I realized that thanking those fellow essential workers for all that they do was enough for them to make their day better. After dealing with the emotional outburst and the belittling of those who didn’t have to put their lives at risk.
Although I lost so many people in this pandemic, their life hasn’t gone in vain. As one of the promises I made to those I lost was to keep writing. Become an authentic storyteller and truth-teller. The first attempt to do so was a memoir to those who suffered systematic racism in this pandemic didn’t pan out as I wanted to. It stays on the back burner to keep those who lost their lives’ memories alive, which after losing a close friend to a terminal illness, started the idea of “The Rideshare Chronicles,” which paid homage to essential workers as 1. It portrays the story of rideshare, who stands up against injustice not only in her world but the sci-fi world she becomes the heroin, 2. It describes the good that rideshare drivers can do for the community as many of the passengers’ stories where many rideshare drivers enable destructive behaviors and mistreatment too many of these passengers—making them feel more of a burden and less appreciation for their service. But it goes both ways. I have had my fair share of horrible passengers that treat me like they treat some of these other essential workers that get belittled while trying to survive this pandemic.
2020 was not only full of opposing but filled with so much positive as well. Having two books published this year, I am coming in 2021 with having three more books that continue the series. Which the next one on the list is the sequel called “Highway To Hell.” I grew a lot, gaining the appreciation for the things that I am given that I need and not focusing or grieving the things that I wanted or felt I deserved. What I learned, sometimes we haven’t earned that luxury as when we go into something with good intention, we back out on the good we did. Replacing it with divinations, vendettas, and still using those emotional crutches to fulfill our skeletons’ things makes us rely on them. All for the sake of numbing the pain and perceiving that we have it together. 2020 was the year that it showed us all that we don’t have it all together. That it’s okay to take precautions and that it’s okay to be simplistic in so many ways. Where if you invested your time in self-growth during this pandemic, you know what I mean. And if you haven’t. I hope one day you do. Because when you aren’t bound to social norms, it’s the most liberating and powerful feeling you can imagine ever fucken feel. With that said. Thanks for the pendejada’s 2020, now get the fuck out with your bullshit.
From my family to yours. Have A Safe and Happy Fucken New Year!