One of the things that we do in our everyday society is assumptions, where we assume someone’s situation, feelings, motives, intentions, etc. The term “Karen” is an iconic name for those who believe a political view and entitlement drive the worst. Which many of those people living in denial about the world around them. And they were conducted with on common fear, that every one that is not like them is out to get them or bad for society, which I can sympathize with the Karen’s of the world. As let’s face it. It’s hard to trust people in a world where prejudice and stereotyping go hand in hand in this mindset as whites stereotype blacks and Latinos based on what a much more influential Karen in their group says, which points out one fact. That if you truly start believing that all people are that way. You lack 1. life experience, and 2. you have been officially psychologically manipulated.
In Beverly D. Flaxington‘s article “Don’t Assume I Know What You Mean” in Psychology Today. One of the things that she mentions in this article is that “assumption can be destructive (Beverly D. Flaxington. Don’t Assume I Know What You Mean. October 5, 2012. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understand-other-people/201210/don-t-assume-i-know-what-you-mean.).” Which backed with positive thinking, being sure of yourself, and setting boundaries makes these things not happen as often they usually do. And I am not telling this to you because it’s an assumption. It’s a fact. As “Journey of an Unraveled Road” is a self-help book that talks about coping with abuse, dealing with trauma, and finding out how to gain your power back in these situations.
As one thing that I learned is that when you internalize your traumas with a facade of strength and empowerment. Those who prey on those vulnerable situations still end up falling into the same traps as I did—and conditioned with all these “social, mental norms” where the perception of perfection is what we all aim for—attempting to live everyday life and that we aren’t a failure anymore. Which many people in these abusive relationships here over and over again. Is the leverage those predators that prey on those who are still vulnerable use against them? Which being in a trauma bond is more common than you think. Which the only reason why you don’t know about it. Is because many people are too obsessed with perceiving that they have it together.
Reflect on one of those situations that you pretended to be happy but genuinely weren’t. Don’t say you have never been there because of this BS that you have gratitude. 1. You can be grateful and still be unhappy. 2. You’re falling for that same psychological manipulation BS you were told about not being grateful. And if you say you never felt that way because of some excuse. Have you said I was happy, “but?” That means you’re lying to yourself about the happiness you state you have. It’s not that scary, and it doesn’t make you a wrong person for not being happy. Because the truth of the matter is that you feel this way because “You are not your true self.” Because that is where the majority of unhappiness comes from not being your true self. Which if you think further into your behaviors when you lashed out for no reason. Is never for no reason. This is an act of feeling “oppressed” in your world. You feel that way is that someone is manipulating to make you think that you should be “okay” or feel like your the problem if you were feeling the way you think. Because most domestic violence victims in domestic violence cases are that people now begin to “act” on feeling like they are losing control of a situation when you end up attempting to break from the chains. Which in that situation, you are now “emotionally hostage.” Threats and intimidation are the way that social norms have attempted to make people “obey.” Now let’s look at a not so worst-case scenario. In a bullying situation. Same concept.
Now let’s look at the best-case scenario when you infiltrated your predator? Have you ever accomplished that? Then honey, get with the program. But you probably already done this, but you were made to think you were acting crazy, ungrateful, unappreciative, or some other BS like that. Which the common thing that you get when you are in this situation is you get gaslighted. Where your predator makes you think that you are a problem. Which the truth of the matter is that you were so close to breaking free from the situation.
In many cases, it’s the “but” or the fear of the unknown that holds you back from the situation. Where the fear of being “alone” is what keeps many people in bad situations. Or this stigma that “I am too old” or whatever self-degrading thing you tell yourself. But the truth is not only are you batting yourself. You’re not only battling social norms. But you are now fighting the emotional manipulation your partner may be feeding you, which is why you are unhappy. Which, in the end, has nothing to do with you, but everything with them. As having self negativity being enforced in all ways, how the hell are you going to love yourself, which is how “Journey of an Unraveled Road” came to existence. We may have different situations, but feelings that we all feel are more universal than we think.