A Look At My Next Non-Fiction Book About Friendship, Tribal Raising, and Figuring It All Out

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     There has been one thing that I always wanted and strived for in life.  Many times with everything that I had.  Which, as clique as it sounds, was always to not only be a successful woman but to have a loving and bonding family.  Which also had me obsess over a top-rated HBO series titled “Sex and the City.” For the longest time, I always aim for the life Charlotte had in having that loving and supportive husband and a family of my own. It’s pretty ironic if you think about it because, being a writer, you would think that I was aiming to be like Carrie Bradshaw.  And I was depicting the struggle in becoming a successful writer who was obsessed with labels and love.   Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but that is not what I pictured life for me to be.  It so happened that this writing career was discovered by accident, fate if you will.  Which after my life awakening, is how I fell into this writing gig, to begin with.  The adversities that I encountered in Houston and throughout my life equipped me with writing material for days.  Which, thanks to the many pendejadas that I faced throughout my life.  It has well indeed given me enough material to register for the rest of my life. If faith, the Universe, God, or whatever higher power deems it the end game in my career.   But the truth of the matter is that there is one consistent denominator present in the story I am about to share with you.  The element that surrounds the protagonist Carrie Bradshaw’s journey through life with one thing on her mind.  Labels and Love.  But the one unexpected element that I would never have even thought would be relatively accurate in my story would be one factor: the bond of friendship and sisterhood. 

     So truth be told, there are additions to our pack that would with no doubt make us the fab four that Sex and the City had to offer.  With many of the same adventures, shortcomings, and lessons we all learned through our friendship journey.  But the truth is that it starts with one woman who became the sister that I never imagined I would have in this crazy life.  With the traumas and heartaches I have had not only in intimate relationships and friendships in the past. I truly, in my head, believed that this would and always would be a one-woman show.  It was in 2001 when I first had my experience with true heartbreak.  This ended up with the man’s loss that I saw myself building that vision I always imagined I would have in life, which ended up losing him with a pointless war that began after the Twin Towers hit in New York City.  In 2004, my first living heartbreak, as the man I married, ended up being my run-in with domestic violence.  The fear that I had was almost losing my life after a fit of jealous rage that happened one night when we went out to celebrate with my sister-in-law, which followed with an event that had me in ICU fighting for my life.  It was with these traumas. I ended up being dead serious in not getting close to anyone.  Including friendships as human nature, which life taught me even earlier on, could be the events that can scar you for life.  Not through the fear, but the betrayal from people genuinely hold dear to your heart.

     The matter of friendships I learned is complicated kinship. In many cases, they replace the things that many people don’t have now, which serves as a substitute for romantic relationships many of the times.  In a normal friendship, people grow apart or in grief.  Fall apart due to the personal feelings of both parties involved.  Which is how I feel I ended up welcoming the idea of not getting close to anyone moving forward. But the truth is in the trauma of an abusive relationship. I was determined to beat the stereotype that I became a survivor of domestic abuse and proved myself.  Which the truth was the advice of my feminist Abuela, who would tell me after every heartbreak, “You don’t need a man.” I began getting fixated on finding the one man regardless of the feminist friendships. Who came in and out of my life along the way.  But the truth is, to my surprise. I ended up just like in the movie Sex and the City, meeting my soul mate.  Which ended up not being a romantic partner, but a friend who ended up being like the sister I never had.

     The truth is, if you compared the two of us, you would say that we are an odd kinship because the truth is.  At first glance, in a judgmental fashion. “How could you two end up being friends,” which is a common question that many people asked. Suppose you are wondering why, because the beauty of this glorious person is breathtaking.  The name blonde wonder didn’t come from a place of arrogance. It came because of the adversity she had experienced throughout her life, which takes her a triple threat, as not only does her beauty match her personality.  But the reliance and the drive she possessed made her a very intimidating force.  When I first encounter my gal pal, it was a bit intimidating as many women blessed with such beauty have a God complex.  Which, in many situations, makes a woman like her in the standard perception she is above the common mortal woman.  In a way, I was astonished when we became friends, as she proved to be empathetic, nurturing, and very down-to-earth, which is more than likely why in my personal bias.  I low-key hated her, which when I begin to think about it.  It was more like envy, as before the writing journey.  I was working through many unresolved issues that had me feeling extremely insecure, especially since I was fresh out of a physically and emotionally abusive relationship, which she came just in the nick of time because she helped me get through the grief that came to shattered dreams of my fairytale happy ending.  Throughout the years of our friendship, it had always proven to show up when no one else did. 

Published by Frieda Lopez at Frieda the Writer

Frieda López is the writer for Journey of an Unraveled Road who was born and raised in San Antonio, TX. Through her professional career in Customer Relations and Retail Management, she has utilized her experience and interactions with the behavioral patterns, which was used to start her personal journey with Journey of A Unraveled Road as her debut novel. She has completed philosophy, psychology, and theology courses at San Antonio College as well as creative writing courses. Frieda López has been a lifelong writer since 2nd grade. A survivor of childhood trauma, childhood abuse, and domestic violence, she wrote this piece, which started this book as her personal journey; works from home in San Antonio, TX.

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