When I first was presented with personal core values ages ago. Which was in elementary school. It got me a bit excited as I felt like I was planning my life and standing up for what I believed in. After high school and into college, and joined the working class. The enthusiasm I had was not as enthusiastic as I was. The truth was, because the hopes and the dreams I had as a child were slowing materializing away from the reality I was living. Shortly after, I just lived by the core values that the company I would work for had in the vision of their dreams and views. Because core values were starting to be associated more with the professions that we work and live in. Which after a while, I said to hell with core values. Because many of the companies contradicted what they stood for. Based on the management that was running the show. It had me revisit and be more open to personal core values accidentally. As in the sixth book, I write about core values and how our protagonist adapts to some core values in the story. But also keeps true to values that she gained in her heroic journey. My Soul Awakening Training made me realize I never really surrendered the core values that I had for myself. As in the life awakening that I reflected early on. Because seeing that I was fighting for the integrity of my core values.
As I reflected on my life’s mistakes and the traumas that occurred within them, I first began to notice some of the things that I neglected. When I tried to sort these events and feelings out, the key phrases I continued to hear were “That’s what you get” or “If you didn’t do A, then B and C wouldn’t of happen.” Whatever the truth of the matter was, I wasn’t okay with that. It was helping me in any way because the reality was that when I took this advice many times before, the same things always happened in different ways. The outcome was still the same. I was being burnt by someone who had ill intentions—leaving me with this sense of loss and hopelessness in one-way, shape, or form. Meant to help protect me from dangers for those who hated to see me in the demise I was in. I began to turn into resentment and idealism that these individuals only wanted to control me somehow. This had me burn many bridges, by the way, and become a hideous person with the knowledge and the wisdom I was gaining in my journey, pointing out the errors of their ways and how they were miserable. I was becoming a shitty person before the awakening events that I was about to experience later on in my life in Houston. Not only by my previous employer. But the apartment complex that I ended up living in as the mold infestation was beginning to make me incredibly ill. And even in rational reasoning of the things I did to try to have both parties do the right thing. It became a manipulation tactic to convince everyone that I was the one at fault and I was the cause of these things due to my ignorant mentality at the time. And it wasn’t ignorant when I stop and think about it. It’s that I saw something in black and white, right and wrong. The majority of the world around me. Was living in the gray area, justifying the destructive behaviors all for the greater good. But the reality was that it just confused me so much more, which took me a decade to realize that it was all, in the end, personal gain intentions. Which, to be fair, is what we are conditioned to do. Not only in childhood but throughout our adulthood.
So let’s elaborate a little in regards to the previous statement. Now we want to a difference in the world. I feel like kids. It’s the hope that we have when we see the adults around us struggling and making ends meet to help provide the lives they attempt to give us. But there is something that we tend to misconstrue. I feel when the adults in our life tend to need a break from the reality of adversity plagues them. “I need some me time.” Which we all need to get our minds and souls together. But as kids, we see things differently in the approach it’s taken. It can make children act confused and give a misinterpreted perceptions as to why this is needed. As adults, have us take what’s a healthy retreat and begin to use the similar coping mechanisms that children subconsciously and unconsciously learn in the process of behavior conditioning. Which follows us throughout life along with the adversities and traumas we begin to experience.
In some cases, as early as childhood to adolescence. In this same conditioning, we begin to develop new ways of how we see the world. If our parents engaged in the same behaviors that had them feel the same as we were kids, then we adopt new versions of the same way. Which although it seems like we are doing things differently, the map is all the same. We see things the same way in many situations. We pick up on things that didn’t work for them and omit them from our view of the world. We see what works for other family members and adapt it into our beliefs. We tend to admit that we all don’t share the same advantages and disadvantages, which is one crucial factor that we tend to omit out. Some things are more manageable because of biology, resources, and advantages inhabiting the fact that the world isn’t fair. This is why I feel we get discouraged in a sense. As the changes we think we made are not cohesive to the routes on our map of the world. I realized within myself that I was adjusting my path or the way I saw things. In the end, I was just changing the environment and still following the same map, not being receptive to changing the route as this was the safe way to go about things. Which if you put it into a general sense. How is a map of Houston going to help your way through Dallas if we will be more literal? But what I began to realize was that it wasn’t that I had no desire to change the route. I was too scared to do so. I came into how I began to resolving these issues and identifying the fundamental values I have been attempting to strive for as a kid.
One of the things that I began to see was that there were to values that I continued to adapt that I still was in the attempt of pursuing. As a kid, personal development translated as “being a better me” and Making A Difference. I began to lose track of all the fuckery that occurred and what occurred in my life. Originality, which went out the window after high school, was something I fought back for as mimicking someone else is something that we all do to catch a break. From investments to workouts to becoming accepted in social norms Iis something we all try to get a step closer to our ultimate goals. This is why conditioning, I feel, is something we should be a little more attentive to. As it’s part of programming and social interactions that we get from a plethora of avenues. Media, Social Settings, Movies, Music. It all influences us.
In many cases, a positive influence and in most damaging effect. Still with the same idealism and with the same approach but in a different environmental setting. I was leaving out the advantages that afforded others and the disadvantages that were holding me back. The truth is I was getting too discouraged by this, which almost made me lose hope and the will to continue. But it was that making a difference that pushed me through. Which maybe it had to do with losing it all and having nothing else to lose that made me carry on. But as I began to see what I was accomplishing. And celebrating even the smallest win I had. It took me on a journey that inspired my first book, “Journey of an Unraveled Road,” with being honest about my world’s realities. Being an indie writer has a plethora of obstacles. But celebrating the win that if I can make a difference in one person who reads my book, I am doing something right.
Getting my certification to be a life coach gave me so much perspective and the idealism that people aren’t broken. It also has me gain different respect in the journey of people. As psychology has made me realize that we all interpret things differently based on the experiences we endured. Both positive and negative. My advanced certification with Awakening the Soul made things a bit more simplistic for me as described as the map of our world, which made much more sense as we discussed the psychology behind this idealism. But also had me find other ways to help people get to a common goal. I never been a judgy person and wondered why people saw me in that light. But it’s how we perceive things in the map of our world that has us engage in these perceptions and assumptions. I have always been one to comfort people, which is my first training made me perceive as abrasive as pointing out the things with alternate outcomes based on the solution would have friends and family become incredibly defensive. Which listening and staying in the silence is crucial in development. It allows people to absorb the information they gain, intending to help them find the answers themselves. Based on how they see things. Helping them find more rational and productive ways of getting closer to the goal in a realistic sense.—Having them be aware of the obstacles and finding the suitable solution will help them get through adversity on their terms. It’s not that we aren’t capable. We may not have the knowledge or experience to get through these obstacles productively, which we don’t always have the answers to when faced with problems we never had before. And if we have, we need a little help getting past it in a way that will make us proud of jumping that hurdle, which is why core values are essential. It’s what makes us tick. Original. The person who we are. Understanding this can help us ensure that we continue to stay our authentic selves beyond our awakening.