Am I Being GasLighted?

One of most common theories that is of our social norms is the a theory called “The Bandwagon Effect” which is one of the most common ways of influence in social group psychology. We all believe that we make our own choices in this chaotic world, but the truth of the matter is that in many situations we gain a common perception that we made the personal choice, which the bigger scheme of things, it’s free will that makes us finalize the conclusion of this, but ultimately in the end we were psychologically manipulated by influence to draw the conclusion.

What is psychological manipulation?

Psychology Today is one of the most accredited sites in my opinions. It gives insight of the common things that we face in our everyday society. Which is how I ended running into the ideals of what is psychological manipulation. But the funny things is that it not only involves the psychological mindset of manipulation, it also consist of the behaviors that one uses to manipulate the situation. Which ultimately in the the end at the end of the day is a manipulation to get something that one believes is owed to them. One cannot demonize these acts as let’s be real, we all done this at one point of or another in a smaller and non threatening way. But at the same time, how many of us have gotten what we wanted and still remained unhappy? How many of us have gotten it for a short time and never consistently maintained that happiness, thinking that if we gain it again, we would remain happy. The 2% of the population, which are the rich and the powerful tend to have this problem sources have revealed. In the end, no one wins, as the need to fulfill a void (which in the end it becomes) becomes a slippery slope of more and more enabled bad behaviors that can turn a good person into a bad one. Here is the signs of manipulation:

1.  Home Court Advantage 

2.  Let You Speak First to Establish Your Baseline and Look for Weaknesses

3.  Manipulation of Facts

4.  Overwhelm You with Facts and Statistics

5.  Overwhelm You with Procedures and Red Tape

6.  Raising Their Voice and Displaying Negative Emotions

7.  Negative Surprises

8.  Giving You Little or No Time to Decide

9.  Negative Humor Designed to Poke at Your Weaknesses and Disempower You

10.  Consistently Judge and Criticize You to Make You Feel Inadequate

11.  The Silent Treatment

12.  Pretend Ignorance 

13.  Guilt-Baiting 

14.  Victimhood 

Here is the article for a more in-depth look of each of the signs of manipulation:

Photo by Sarah Trummer on

What Is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is when a person or entity is using manipulation to gain power. Gaslighting is one of thing that prevents positive change to happen. I mention before, I was told many time in my blogs before that I was judged to be “crazy.” Ironically enough, this act of shame is gaslighting at is finest. Being the biggest way of deflection people use to gain a sense of power by manipulation. Here is the statistics of how often this happens and it’s pretty devastatingly shocking. I use past statistics because the purpose of these blogs is to empower yourself to find some of these answers to make the conclusion yourself. But I will say this, the numbers have shockingly increased since then.

These are some of the warning signs that you should look out for to determine whether you have or attempted to be a victim of gaslighting.

1. They tell blatant lies.

2. They deny they ever said something, even though you have proof. 

3. They use what is near and dear to you as ammunition. 

4. They wear you down over time.

5. Their actions do not match their words.

6. They throw in positive reinforcement to confuse you. 

7. They know confusion weakens people. 

8. They project.

9. They try to align people against you.

10. They tell you or others that you are crazy.

11. They tell you everyone else is a liar.

Here is the full article to gaslighting:

Photo by Vasadi Photography on

How to Stand Up to Gaslighting

Like I’ve said time and time again, my blogs are not made to judge or ridicule. What kind of heartless bitch do you take me for? Give me some credit please. Thank you, now I can continue. It’s more to raise awareness of the social norm problems we all are currently facing or have faced in the past. We tend to let so many things slide, which hypothetically is all part of the gaslighting and bandwagon theory of being the bigger person. Yeah you might of walked away from trouble, but what about the other person that interacts with this individual. Being selfless in the act of confronting the individual who attempts the act is putting someone who is vulnerable to the attack in a bad situation. I always get kickback when I talk about #alllivesmatter (which we aren’t even going to go into that conversation today) is all an attempt to use the bandwagon theory against me. However if we are going to call it how it is, your attempt to gaslight my ass isn’t going to work. You want to know why, because the only pendejada I am going to follow is my own. The only thing your going to do is see how the effect of your cause is going to put you in a bad situation, where the world is going to call you out on your gaslighting failed attempt because playing victim and everything that falls after that is obviously gaslighting. 🤦🏼‍♀️ But narcissist always think they know better right? It starts by standing up for your cause and knowing where you stand. Evaluate that bitch and figure out if our cause is selfless or selfish. Is it for the greater good of everyone involved or is it tailored to one demographic? When anyone thinks they pull this on me, if your feeling froggy bruh, then jump. You’re going to learn today and learn why those close to me deem me the real life Wonder Woman.

The Power Of Gratitude

We have so many things to be grateful for. The power of gratitude is an amazing tool that everyone should tap into. You may not have everything you want, but you have everything you need. Gratitude has been the best tool in humbling me even on this journey. I learned real fast that life can take everything away in a split second. But the truth is there is still so much more to be thankful for. Kristen Wigg is the poster child of showing this to be real in the roles she played in “Bridesmaids” and “Girl Most Likely.” Shit I can relate to her fiction characters as I always have been the bridesmaid and never the bride (close but you know financees die and others end up being narcissist) as these two movies have depicted my real life scenarios. In these movies, the protagonist has a hard time dealing with the realism of what happens and has a hard time finding gratitude in these bad situations. One of the biggest things that we fail to find gratitude in, is the ability to be thankful and fortunate for the security others have afforded us to take sanctuary in. To be completely transparent one of those things (which made me lose sight of my abuela’s struggle) was the story that came from the security I took for granted. Being fluid to the feedback and actually taking the time to hear my abuela’s struggle made me realize that this Wonder Woman persona people gave me wasn’t all my work, it was part of both my abuela’s work. It made me undermind the values my maternal mother instilled in me (believe my mother and I have a lot of internalized conflict) regardless of the problems we both had. It made me be unappreaciative of the things I already had. That’s where I feel it starts. You have to be grateful for the things that you have even if they are the smallest things. But in the end it’s the smallest things that make you feel life is everything.

What are your thoughts? Have you been through a manipulation situation and didn’t realize it? How did you handle the manipulation? What would you do different? If your in this, how are you going to confront your abuser?

Like always all, embrace your stereotype and fuck shit up for the greater good. And since today I was deemed bad for society, I leave you with today’s theme song. Inspired by the queen of the insecure persona Mindy Kaling, a bad bitch I hope I can shake hands with one day.

Your gurl,

Harvard From da Hood

Published by Frieda Lopez at Frieda the Writer

Frieda López is the writer for Journey of an Unraveled Road who was born and raised in San Antonio, TX. Through her professional career in Customer Relations and Retail Management, she has utilized her experience and interactions with the behavioral patterns, which was used to start her personal journey with Journey of A Unraveled Road as her debut novel. She has completed philosophy, psychology, and theology courses at San Antonio College as well as creative writing courses. Frieda López has been a lifelong writer since 2nd grade. A survivor of childhood trauma, childhood abuse, and domestic violence, she wrote this piece, which started this book as her personal journey; works from home in San Antonio, TX.

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