I have to say turning 38 is one of the most memorable milestones of my life. Let’s start with the obvious. I made it this far in 2020, and luckily I am still alive and healthy, which I am not saying this insensitively. Like today, I prayed for all those that I have lost due to COVID-19. I sincerely feel that it all happened for a more significant a divine purpose. However, it breaks my heart to know they aren’t physically here with us. So take a moment before reading further with a brief moment of silence to honor those we have lost due to this pandemic this year.
For the positive parts of why this is a massive milestone in my years. Primarily it’s because I reached an emotional milestone that I never thought I would reach. Resolving these internalized issues that psychology proves we all have and facing my fears that stem primarily from these insecurities. But it goes beyond that. It’s finding the ability to forgive those who have done me wrong and not allowing them to get away with it in a rational, peaceful sense. Which setting boundaries are something I struggled with setting almost my entire life, falling for the bullshit gray area tactics that I was convinced was legit. Having them just try to get rid of it the same damn thing acting like I am either naive or stupid. If you are honest with yourself about it, doesn’t it piss you off just a little bit?
Another fantastic milestone this year has been “Journey of an Unraveled Road,” being my first book being published, and entering 38 with my second is something I never imagined I would ever accomplish. Let alone the series that is “The Rideshare Chronicles,” which has me close to finishing the fourth book in the series. Which is the best thing I could have done as it allows me to embrace the geek and the super-smart side of me. Which is social norms always was told me, “a woman should never be that smart,” which at first I followed just to gain acceptance. Which now I embrace proudly. As it helped me write a book that includes scientific theorems that I can’t have in normal rhetoric. As the first word to come out would be, “You’re crazy!” Which now just has me being obnoxious telling those who say that with, “You haven’t seen crazy yet.” Which if you ask me, sometimes it’s better just to avoid it altogether as it’s just a waste of energy.
Writing is something I always wanted to do but never thought I had the talent to do. Regardless of what my creative writing professor would tell me. That’s how insecure I indeed was back then. It took me to resolve my issues, even to attempt to take this writing venture. As even after writing my first book, which was a short read, it still fell a little short. My publisher, who is close to my heart, would always tell me, “don’t let this be your only book.” Which gaining a motherly authority to assure that I don’t slack or get complacent is something I heard a lot in this journey after having it published in June. Which reading forums it takes an author a year to write they’re published I read in one of them. I just began typing as soon as the story idea came for “The Rideshare Chronicles,” and just like that, the story started to develop. Writing the second book, pending the release date for mid-2021, followed with the third one that I completed in late November—now following the fourth book that might be completed today—already having in my head how the final book and the next book’s storyline—no, even having the first one officially released yet. Which truth is, I did have a talent for this. I was just psyching myself out this whole time.
Traditionally speaking, the birthday person gets a gift on their special day. The truth is, I would dive into finishing the fourth volume of “TRSC” as I am about five chapters from completing it. But I felt I needed to take some time to give anyone who needs to hear this as I think that many do. But I may be wrong and assumptive about that too. Yes, it’s been a year that we were sent to Hell in a handbasket. But you already survived the worst. Because you are still here. I am not talking about things that happened in history or our lifetime. I am talking about your struggles and the things you have battled thus far. We are not perfect, and we are not meant to be. That’s the curse we all have that is human nature. It is about learning from those mistakes as it’s the practice to stop those mistakes we make entirely. We have been villains in someone’s story along with our life, and we have to attempt to make amends.
You can’t force forgiveness, so don’t take it personally if you don’t get it, as there are people in this journey who we still haven’t forgiven yet. We aren’t hypocrites. It starts with forgiving those who have hurt us along the way—setting boundaries. The truth is we are not asking for forgiveness to have them come back. You don’t need them as you made it this far without them. But peace comes in letting go. You got this. You always got this. It’s not about reaching deadlines. You will get them when you’re good and ready. But know one thing, no matter what life throws at you. You are a badass. Because you made it this far, if it’s through luck, stop being dependent as luck always runs out. But regardless if that happens. Know that you are still more capable than you give yourself credit. Suppose no one believes that, no one thing. I believe that.