Un-conforming The Act Of Comformity

We all have conformed or still conform in our everyday lives just to fit in. Whether it be betraying a friend because of what is saved, a group of people thinks about the group’s oddball—or breaking up with someone because of what our family or friends thought of what they thought of someone. Or rocked a high-end designer bag or even bought a vehicle for the brand. Or the most degrading of them all, put on a brave face to the world and put an act that would win an academy award for the things that happens behind closed doors, leaving you in a situation that has you self medicating and crying from the mistreatment, emotional abuse, and/or physical abuse you conceal with makeup. The ugly truth is your confirming to individual social norms associated with the social group trying to reach the common social standards that gain success and happy life. The ugly truth is, you may, with drive and persistence, achieve a sensation that may surpass your usual social group, but you’ll never go above that social level because truth is, there is a crowd with the same ideas, same perception, and the same expectations in this burning world we live in. Ignoring the danger and truth, you refuse to see through a distorted pair of rose glasses.

Think back to high school and the group of friends you use to hang. Now let’s add a college experience if you had one. Were you in the same social group? Let’s factor in the first job you had. What social group did you associate with then? What about every job after that? Now factor in the groups you associated with out of work? Let’s now factor in the social settings that are social organizations like churches, country clubs, fraternities, or sororities? What were the perceptions you gave to each one? Were they different or similar? Were the oddballs of the group accepted or where they caste out of the group and your life? Statistically speaking, only 20% of those groups will be similar based on the small study I’ve been gradually getting for five months. When funding allows, to assure the current percentage is genuinely accurate to make this theory precise genuinely. How were you treated when you were the oddball? Did your old friends stop being your friend in current and past ground? Survey says 95% of those people now the oddball were not accepted and cast out themselves. To be true to science, these surveys will be redone by a third party entity to eliminate bias.

We subconsciously conform, and we don’t even know it. Subliminal advertising is a business practice used by marketing and is an essential part of the curriculum in marketing in college. Have you been able to give a genuine reason why a brand is your favorite brand of clothing? Vehicle? Bag? What made you buy these luxury brand items or even want them? That’s a question for you and only you to come to terms with, as once again, you do not need to justify this for. I do not hear to judge. I’m here to help only when you are ready for it. The same subliminal messaging in advertising is why I believe subconscious thinking comes into play within ourselves on the actions we engage in, the purchases we buy, and the feelings we get in certain situations. Subconscious trauma, even if we say is something we come to terms with, is something we lie to ourselves about because seeing in my actions that I use less fight or flight intimidation and take more effort has me convinced that, although in unknown situations is when I get that butterfly feeling in my stomach, still engage in action when I need to make it a point that my boundaries are crossed in a 2nd non-physical aspect that has me assure both parties are responsible for taking accountability and ensuring that if this is a continued behavioral pattern that is consistent, depending on that individual they don’t attempt to offend you with their irresponsible actions or blame you for the efforts they had control of.

People, since I’ve found my unique path, have always said something similar to “not everyone is genuinely happy” or “you’re the one not happy with yourself,” always saying actually I am. When they ask why I am sure to come to the coined phrases in my book, “I’m good with my pendejadas,” which in English translates, “I’m good with my fuck ups” as I have control and admit to the consequence of my actions. I’ve been dragged on the bus, been thrown under the bus for too long by people who knew better, and people who didn’t know better all for the sake of their self-preservation, seeing them get away with it and seeing them engage in more inappropriate and illegal activity. Like Enron, being a well-respected company turned tragedy. When I use this example on business professionals, lay down the history and start one by one piecing the puzzle, it scares them, it worries them, it shames them because seeing the one match that light the fire is getting dangerously close, causing one of my accounts from my previous job to bring me in as a Training Consultant and in one day let go as the suggestions are given were taken as personal attacks, which now is shut down and under federal investigation. Because the person who knew better took a suggestion of good faith into a personal attack that had no undertone of it. Like trauma, the guilt of something takes a toll and clouds your perception. Revealing that guilt is another subconscious demon your also being influenced by in the subconscious mind that’s influenced by others around you and those who you haven’t made amends with. With this revealed, yes, I’m sincerely happy because people who are dealing with issues that they deny become a distraction turned to liability. Because when it’s all said and done, when the chips are down, and everyone disappears for whatever reason as they are just keeping their head above water, the only person that can save you, in the end, is you.

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Published by Frieda Lopez at Frieda the Writer

Frieda López is the writer for Journey of an Unraveled Road who was born and raised in San Antonio, TX. Through her professional career in Customer Relations and Retail Management, she has utilized her experience and interactions with the behavioral patterns, which was used to start her personal journey with Journey of A Unraveled Road as her debut novel. She has completed philosophy, psychology, and theology courses at San Antonio College as well as creative writing courses. Frieda López has been a lifelong writer since 2nd grade. A survivor of childhood trauma, childhood abuse, and domestic violence, she wrote this piece, which started this book as her personal journey; works from home in San Antonio, TX.

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