As we know as it happens all to often is that we are not told the entire story of what is happening in the era of COVID-19. Where many people that are involved with COVID relief have yet to be transparent or direct with the general public. Some out of their control and some intentionally. All for the sake of not looking like a failure. Which many will not question the turn of events for many reasons. Some because of the fact that it doesn’t affect them. Other’s because they are hardcore followers and believe everything that they are hearing. Others because they refuse to see the reality of what’s going around in the world around them. Not seeing those around them being affected. And those affected by the infection, find reasons that the infection was contracted by the advisement of scientist. Which common sense would say any respiratory sickness can be an airborne contraction. As only those airborne viruses that are made to affect the respiratory track. Will be infected when the virus is breathed in.
Let’s face it. This year has brought the worst out of many people, even in our closest of circles. It’s hard not to let the worst get out of us sometimes if you think about it. All the sake of choosing sides. Where I have ended friendships for the disrespect that they reciprocate. Whether showing some sort of sigh of jealousy that the writing venture has taken off to things I never could imagine they would. As this has been a new venture, I began in 2019 that I just stayed consistent with. Some will ask, “Why do I know this?” Because of an early congrats, I posted on Facebook that a few only liked. I was giving first congratulations to the applicant that gets the role of freelance writer for a major magazine publishing company. Where for me, just getting an invite to apply was a win. Where those who assumed the “brand new me” was a facade for a girl who was attempting to gain pity in the wake of me sharing my story. That we all get conditioned just to say, “I am sorry you went through that” when writing “Journey of an Unraveled Road.” Where if you’re not a Trump supporter, you’re an idiot. If you take precautions amid COVID, you’re conformist. Where in the end, the Bandwagon Effect and other manipulation tactics have reached an all-time high. And those who were cocky to think Trump had a repeat of 2016 are getting desperate in trying to convince those who already made up their mind, and some already even voting to continue to sway them to change their mind.
In my circle through social media, I have been belittled, shamed, insulted, and disrespected the way our President has, with only one difference. Defending myself from the attacks where everyone assumes they are pushing a button when the truth is, I am defending myself from attacks that they started. Based on stigmas, assumptions, stereotyping, and a bunch of other destructive behaviors that they picked up by our President. When I strike a nerve or retreat. Saying one common thing. That I think I know “everything.” Which is false. Which is fake news. Which in the presence of a fault. I will admit my wrongdoing. That if some that were close read my book, I would realize that it’s the brand new me I always but was afraid to be. And that knowledge I now have boundaries. Have zero tolerance for those attacks. And if they would not live in the past and omit pride and cockiness from their persona.
Would have the ability to be friends by showing that they can be trusted once again. But like always, pride get’s in the way of everything. And that ghosting me would be a form of punishment, which is a sign of narcissist behavior. That my genuine call just to check on their wellbeing was all I attempted to do, especially after writing this blog series. But the God truth is that they are doing me a favor. As in their failure to self improve and take my advice on a book I gifted. The behaviors that they present have been behaviors they have been engaging in their whole lives. And with some of those people I tolerated, it is a true blessing in disguise. Which no judgment to any of them. Because despite those destructive behaviors, they indeed are good people. Trying to sort out all the bullshit they have dealt with in their life. But why go against someone who genuinely cared about your wellbeing. Even in the worst of their times. And going through what I went through with no one in sight, I should be the one upset in the end. But the truth is, I am not. Because without them, I learned how to stand on my own two feet, embracing the real power of one.
I began this blog series as one of the things that I saw in these nurses is the emotional trauma they went through as it was a way to hep them come to terms with their experience. I saw empathy bias unfold with the last messenger message I ended up engaging in where I was told “You think you know everything” and “You have haven’t even visited me” as he was a person who I was pacing for when I found out that he got COVID. Which every attempt to speak with him and arrange to see him was always deflected with “I need time to myself” Which how can I go see him if I am respecting his wishes. Which finding out he was handicapped was a shock to me and made me want to see him more. But in the pity party that came from empathy bias, began saying “they don’t know” which is a oxymoron as many of these nurses fought to resesistate many of these left for dead patients and advocate to give them a chance to live. While many of them became independent contractors to become COVID nurses to become home health care providers as they could empathize a lot more with the patients that become permanently paralyzed from COVID. Which in his deflection of shitty demeanor, made his stereotypes and as behavior patterns are consistent and knowing him since high school, ended the attempt to aim for the jugular which my sign to stop was saying “you sound like you’re Trump supporting mother,” which came out automatically. Which was a sign that I needed to end it before it got worst.
We all have similar stories ie this through this pandemic. We see the selfish demeanor everyday. Where the Karen’s of 2020 are low key afraid of everything. Which the stereotypes they hold have fear. You have Trump supporters fearful out of their minds with the fear manipulation Trump throws at them. Believing everything he says. Having some unfortunate supporters inject them self with toxic chemicals and refers to it as a joke. Which if he was really sorry, he would told the families directly he was sorry in the debate. Purposely drawing a line and taking no accountability of the actions that he has done. Which the truth of the matter, someone who is truly sorry would take actions to gain redemption from the wrongs he has committed. Having him become a hypocrite, which many of his followers enable. Which shows a metaphorical trauma bond as one of the characteristics of trauma bond victims is that they tend to do something even if they feel or know it’s wrong. All for the sake of making their capture hard. In the end it’s emotional kidnapping in the end. Which truth of the matter is, why go against the people you associate with in everyday life, over someone you will only be able to shake hands with if you’re lucky. You won’t have brunch, breakfast, lunch, or dinner with these candidates. Why show your die hard devotion to someone who you never may meet. And for that matter. What are you going to do in 2024 when the rat race in politics are over. If you look at your inner circle and see those who stuck around for your hardcore devotion that in a battle of who’s dick is bigger; who can you truly confide in? If that is lingering question that remains. It might be time to re-evaluate your inner circle.
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