The Trauma Bond That Has Become COVID

Photo by Yaroslav Danylchenko on

One of the things that this pandemic has brought forward is how delicate the balance we presumed to be a strong and stable one.  People will arguably say that it’s the President’s fault, which is not entirely fair to blame on.  However, we can blame him for the controllable he neglected to dismiss, which is the truth of the matter being, minimizing the hype of what has happened during this pandemic. It is making unrealistic claims on the hearsay of what was going on and putting many Americans’ at risk.  Which, in most recent cases, has infected his entire rally with COVID-19.  As many of those Trump supporters saying that it’s a “scare tactic” caused by the Democrats.  And belittling the science behind the precautions of what was happening—saying that things would get better.  However, in the skepticism and the hysteria that followed.  As many individuals who deflect the things that are happening around them tend to do.  Which our President being in the limelight, learns how to detain the act successfully.  But if you look a little closer at some of these common behaviors.  You can see the underlining issues and the fear he has at hand.  

For those who will automatically say, I am attempting to shun the President.  The answer is no.  As the truth of the matter, we all have some unresolved issues that we end up deflecting thanks to the unresolved issues.  Which the idealism of the perception you will bring is what causes this to occur.  It is a reference to a form of Psychology manipulation know as a trauma bond.   According to, “The term “trauma bond” was coined by Patrick Carnes, who developed the term to describe how the “misuse of fear, excitement, and sexual feelings,” can be used to trap or entangle another person. Put more simply; trauma bonds occur when we go through periods of intense love and excitement with a person followed by periods of abuse, neglect, and mistreatment. The cycle of being devalued and then rewarded repeatedly works overtime to create a strong chemical and hormonal bond between a victim and his or her abuser. This is why victims of abuse often describe feeling more deeply bonded to their abuser than they do to people who consistently treat them well.Anyone in an abusive relationship can become trauma bonded to their abuser, but people who experienced traumatic relationships as children may be more prone to these types of bonds. After all, we already experienced these types of relationships with our parents or other caregivers, so our nervous system is already primed up to fall into the cycle. (Hannah Leigh. Recognizing and Breaking a Trauma Bond. November 22, 2019.” Which one tends to think that maybe the appeal that comes from the President, isn’t the fact that it’s coming from general liking. But maybe attempting to gain acceptance from those who were dismissed and abandoned during a trauma bond?

So I know that many of you skeptics will end up saying “Here we go with the psycho babble,” which makes me sympathize as this common deflection comes form denying a potential truth in a theory. Which then turns into an act of shaming and belittling. Which if you can hear me out for a bit, may help put you in a path to self healing. Which according to have shown that almost 35 million children have experienced a childhood trauma, some being non family directed. Some from one family directive. And some from multiple family directives. Which as we grow up, begin to be conditioned to deflect and not resolve some of those issues that we are made to feel unworthy or tainted with the unresolved issue they feel they have to suppress

One of the things that Trump has shown to have is deflective behavior with borderline psychosis. As mainly in this state deflect the traumatic events that occur with no empathy to others. Although joking about injecting bleach or ingesting chloroquine phosphate to beat the virus. Which in many cases people took the advise literal causing them to lose their lives. This unfortunately is socially irresponsible, as being a public figure. A tiny one at that working my way up to influencer has me double checking the advice I give. Which is cause of tapping into a sub conscious trauma bond. Here are some of things that you should keep an eye on if to determine if you are currently in a trauma bond according to (

  • You want to leave someone, but you simply cannot bring yourself to cut them out of your life.
  • You’re in a relationship that you would never want any of your loved ones to be in.
  • The person has some characteristics that remind you of a toxic parent or another caregiver.
  • You find yourself trying to get back to the past.
  • You’re justifying behavior that you know is wrong.

I decided to write about this before we get into the absolute ugly truth in regarding the treatment of this pandemic. As more and more stories begin to come in, I begin to realize that things haven’t changed for the greater good. In one of the private social media groups I am in, one common that stuck out me was that “Greed dictates everything” which had me thinking to myself maybe ti does. That maybe it’s not possible for us to get the change we all hope to gain as “greed being one of the “Seven Deadly Sins” continues to dictate the decisions we make each and every day. Not intentionally I feel. But all for the sake of trying to get by. Which in the end becomes a situation that we we participate and wipe our hands clean with the blood that’s spilled. No one wins.

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Published by Frieda Lopez at Frieda the Writer

Frieda Lopez is a Texas Native, born in the heart of San Antonio's West Side Community. Frieda attended Lanier High School and primarily attended Memorial High School where she graduated with the class of 2001. Raised in a blended family dynamic, Ms. Lopez gained her noble character from the women she admired and loved the most, her grandmothers. Frieda attended Alamo Community College where she majored in Liberal Arts primarily studying on biology, sociology, philosophy, psychology, and creative writing and shortly attended University of Incarnate Word. She gained a MBA from AIU and has actively participated in local fashion shows until she moved to Houston returning back August 2019. She began her career in healthcare, where she gained the skill of being able to not only resolve conflicts but reach out and engage in the community through her time serving as health care relations customer care and outreach representative. After being let go from her employer which she last served as a Customer Relations Representative for DentaQuest, she began her journey in retail where she came part of the leadership team a month of working as a part time representative for MarketSource and build a relationship with her local Target team. She later served five years with Amtel T-Mobile as a Store Manger after moving to Houston to pursue a management position with unfortunately ended in adversity which opened the opportunity of writing her first book "Journey of an Unraveled Road" will be releasing her second book a fiction based series titled "The Rideshare Chronicles" with the first book to the installment titled "Destination Destiny."

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