The Gateway Act That Is Anti Social Behavior

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Where if you think about it. Society thrives off of anti-social behavior. Where truth of the matter is, everything we do in attempt to make a point becomes anti-social behavior. As it may be intended for the greater good, buts others in a harms way for the lack of consideration for others. Which if you look at it in a bigger picture scenario. You can see why the world is afraid.

Frieda Lopez The Gateway Act That Is Anti Social Behavior

When we think of anti-social behavior, we immediately associate that behavior with someone who avoids social crowds or social activity. However, being anti-social behavior is not just avoiding crowds. Anti-social behavior is defined as are actions that harm or lack consideration for the well-being of others. It has also been described as any type of conduct that violates the fundamental rights of another person and any behavior that is considered to be disruptive to others in society. Where if you think about it. Culture thrives off of anti-social behavior. Where the truth of the matter is, everything, we do in an attempt to make a point becomes anti-social behavior. As it may be intended for the greater good, but others in a harmful way for the lack of consideration for others. Which if you look at it in a more significant picture scenario. You can see why the world is afraid.

In hindsight, the lack of consideration boils down to one action, which becomes entitlement. Which many of the actions that occur regarding how that person is being treated. Which if you evaluate the situation, talks about the injustice that is done based on the behaviors someone perceives is being done to them. Which, in many cases, maybe us engaging in anti-social behavior. Which is an array of things people commonly do these days. Which to break down the act of anti-social behaviors. There are various types of antisocial behaviors and the actions they consist of. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/antisocial-personality-dis.order/symptoms-causes/syc-20353928

  • Disregard for right and wrong
  • Persistent lying or deceit to exploit others
  • Being callous, cynical, and disrespectful of others
  • Using charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain or personal pleasure
  • Arrogance, a sense of superiority, and being extremely opinionated
  • Recurring problems with the law, including criminal behavior
  • Repeatedly violating the rights of others through intimidation and dishonesty
  • Impulsiveness or failure to plan ahead
  • Hostility, significant irritability, agitation, aggression, or violence
  • Lack of empathy for others and lack of remorse about harming others
  • Unnecessary risk-taking or dangerous behavior with no regard for the safety of self or others
  • Poor or abusive relationships
  • Failure to consider the negative consequences of behavior or learn from them
  • Being consistently irresponsible and repeatedly failing to fulfill work or financial obligations

And in extreme cases:

  • ggression toward people and animals
  • Destruction of property
  • Deceitfulness
  • Theft
  • Serious violation of rules

The Problem At A Bigger Scale

Time and time again, we see that throughout the eras, things seem to get worst. Where there is a short moment that things seem to get better. However, things seem to become better temporarily. Then it gets worst, which my theory in this situation is that it never got worst. It just got contained. Where things become the hype in media. Then goes silent for a time frame. Where when it resurfaces. It just became a more significant issue as an example of human trafficking. This was an issue since the 1200s. Where the dangers don’t hit only poverty-stricken families, it’s now a danger to middle-class families as well. Where in many cases, you find middle-class families at risk of being poverty stricken; being the labor workers. Which the motive is to keep their families from falling into the same life. But ironically enough, this never works out, as psychology will always tell us. That those who think they are beneath us will engage in psychological manipulation is what we always get in these scenarios. Where one of my Instagram connections shared this dark cartoon that is true to not only American culture but others as well. Which is the culture of deception.

Unknown artist -Instagram feed

How does one gain change? Well, that is the topic that Sociologists and Psychologists try to resolve every day. As in psychology, it’s based on the motives that a person has, which begins the track of anti-social behaviors stemmed from fear. The link to a great article is included in this blog https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/antisocial-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20353928 where personality is the ultimate root problem of the issue. Where in Psychology, the character is developed by the things we experience in life. Where in trauma and unresolved issues. Fear is what begins to develop the people we become. Where starting off the anti-social behaviors begin in childhood. Then get carried into adulthood. Based on the issues that we don’t resolve. Being a cause to all the grief and the pain to others. Where if you see it from a significant picture perspective. We start becoming a problem that gets harder and harder to fix. Here are some of those risk factors from the same article:

  • Spouse abuse or child abuse or neglect
  • Problems with alcohol or substance use
  • Being in jail or prison
  • Homicidal or suicidal behaviors
  • Having other mental health disorders such as depression or anxiety
  • Low social and economic status and homelessness
  • Premature death, usually as a result of violence

Determining the situations and how we resolve these issues, there is hope for change. However, anti-social behaviors, which a few things that start that behavior according to HealthofChildren.com, which are the following:

  • parental history of antisocial behaviors
  • parental alcohol and drug abusechaotic and unstable home life
  • absence of good parenting skills
  • use of coercive and corporal punishment
  • parental disruption due to divorce , death, or other separation
  • parental psychiatric disorders, especially maternal depression
  • economic distress due to poverty and
  • unemployment

Read more: http://www.healthofchildren.com/A/Antisocial-Behavior.html#ixzz6bo8OLVQo. Where according to Thriveworks.com is the signs of what happens when you carry your anti-social behavior to adulthood:

  • Failure to conform to social norms in regard to lawful behaviors and repeating acts that are grounds for arrest.
  • Lying repeatedly, using aliases or conning other people for personal profit or pleasure.
  • Irritability and aggressiveness as shown by constant physical fights or assaults.
  • Consistently being irresponsible as shown by constantly failing to keep a job
  • Lack of remorse is evident by showing indifference or rationalizing why he hurt, mistreated or stole from another person.
  • Evidence of Conduct Disorder as a child.
  • Disregard for right and wrong.
  • Continually lying or deceiving others
  • Disrespect and scorn toward others
  • Cruelty and insensitivity toward others
  • Using appeal or humor to manipulate other people in order to get personal pleasure or gain
  • Being excessively opinionated
  • Being conceited and feeling better than others
  • Consistently disregarding the rights of other people by bullying
  • Being hasty and careless; not planning beforehand
  • Being agitated and antagonistic
  • Aggressive and violent.Little guilt in hurting others
  • Risky or dangerous actions that are unnecessary with no thought about safety for himself or others
  • Relationships are poor or abusive
  • Doesn’t think about negative results of his behavior and doesn’t learn from the consequences
  • Continually irresponsible and not meeting work or financial commitments

Which, in hindsight, is why I created boundaries. As those who do not possess mutual respect will be quick to say that the respect and cruelty I express is based on my character. Where being opinionated about the things I observe is being overly opinionated. If you read the article, the opinions are directly an insult to someone in the attempts to personally hurt them. I was not spoken as a general statement, which is why I know that it’s not intended antisocial behavior. It’s an act of defending myself in the only way I know-how. As being peaceful in a rebuttal hasn’t worked as of yet https://thriveworks.com/blog/adult-antisocial-behavior/. Which the theory of cause and effect is crucial in defense.

How This Looks In Real Life

Remember many of the verbal conflicts I had, it started with a general statement that was taken too personally or out of context. Here is the flow of what happens in these scenarios.

  1. Pointing out the behaviors I see after the first attempt is made.
  2. After the first attempt to contain the action, ends up going into this shame fest
  3. After telling them that I will not take the insult or that they need to refrain, they attempt to use insecurities such as physical or financial situations against me.
  4. After pointing out the flaws and everything wrong with their deflection, also warning them about what their deflections bring to light (insecurity and fears), in belittling use crueler shame to attempt to infiltrate my final attempt to gain mutual respect.
  5. Psychological manipulation begins it’s toll as the attempt of gaslighting and bandwagoning is attempted.
  6. After the emotional vein is hit and they see that they are being hypocritical, they use victimhood. Or another attempted emotional attack that is crueler. Or attempt to gain allies to help deflect the attacks they caused.
  7. Once all attacks are infiltrated, they use silent treatment or block you in social media as an attempt to flee from a situation that is pointing out their true character.
  8. If they are truly narcissist, they will repeat the cycle again.

What You Need To Know

At the end. It depends on the person. You can be in denial, or you can start gradually working your way to fixing the anti-social behavior. As in severe cases, you may need the help of a licensed professional. One of the things you want to find in a licensed professional is someone you can trust, which doing your research beforehand helps a lot. WebMD has probably the most accurate ratings out there. Once you find a therapist you trust, you must be transparent as the truth is, they are not there to judge. They are made to help you. Remember that you don’t have to share your sessions with anyone if you choose not to, as this is a confidential session made between you and your therapist. In extreme cases, understand that they may have to break privacy laws if you think of hurting yourself or someone else as doesn’t mean that you’re crazy. This means that someone is pushing you to the point of no return. Before you or someone else even goes to that extreme, here is some helpful advice before I go into the things you can prevent it. Understand that a lot of the things that people do have nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with them. Although they are cruel in the way they deflect, they, too, are also going through something that they refuse to share. As this is a defense mechanism, they use. Here are some common defense mechanisms and the article to read more about it. https://www.simplypsychology.org/defense-mechanisms.html.

If you look at it more rational, you will begin to see the truth of what they are deflecting. Once again, you are not alone in this feeling as much of society engages in this behavior as truth is. This is the way we have been conditioned to defend ourselves. The truth is, it stops it, as there are no good ways to prevent it. According to Psychology, starts by working on those unresolved issues, which is why I am going back to school to prove this theory. As at the end of the day, it starts by working on you, identifying the danger. Seeing them for what they are—learning how to work through them. In this case, in working on your emotional health, it’s okay to be selfish with limits.

Published by Frieda Lopez at Frieda the Writer

Frieda Lopez is a Texas Native, born in the heart of San Antonio's West Side Community. Frieda attended Lanier High School and primarily attended Memorial High School where she graduated with the class of 2001. Raised in a blended family dynamic, Ms. Lopez gained her noble character from the women she admired and loved the most, her grandmothers. Frieda attended Alamo Community College where she majored in Liberal Arts primarily studying on biology, sociology, philosophy, psychology, and creative writing and shortly attended University of Incarnate Word. She gained a MBA from AIU and has actively participated in local fashion shows until she moved to Houston returning back August 2019. She began her career in healthcare, where she gained the skill of being able to not only resolve conflicts but reach out and engage in the community through her time serving as health care relations customer care and outreach representative. After being let go from her employer which she last served as a Customer Relations Representative for DentaQuest, she began her journey in retail where she came part of the leadership team a month of working as a part time representative for MarketSource and build a relationship with her local Target team. She later served five years with Amtel T-Mobile as a Store Manger after moving to Houston to pursue a management position with unfortunately ended in adversity which opened the opportunity of writing her first book "Journey of an Unraveled Road" will be releasing her second book a fiction based series titled "The Rideshare Chronicles" with the first book to the installment titled "Destination Destiny."

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