Psychology of Patience

Society I feel, has distorted many of the values with meanings that become convenience to them that has been passed down from generation to generation. Patience in a sense is a behavior that I feel is convenient for those who said “be patient” to allow them more time to if I may be blunt “get it together in general.” Which in a general sense get together what they tried to finish in time that they lost somewhere along the way. Which in the end as long as it doesn’t interfere with the progression of someone’s day, self, or work; it should be acceptable to limits of course. But patience isn’t just waiting on someone, it deals with a lot more than that. Truth is, patience is more valuable and powerful than you think. And involves way more than just wanting on someone.

The definition is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. Which if you have been read my book, read my blogs, and seen my TikTok videos, it’s harder to have than what you think? You have experienced this as well. When the logical truthful answer is in someone’s face regarding their character (let’s leave politics out) and you’re trying to tell them why they are in the wrong (as they crossed your boundary) and they continue to in an entitled response say why your in the wrong without having any regard for anyone but themself and how it affects their own personal life. You sometimes want to just bitch slap someone in the face. Where I hate to say this, is you failed patience. Which is why boundaries are the utmost importance (again a record repeating itself), as this keeps you and the other person accountable in the spectrum of disrespect. It helps you gage who truly has your best interest at hand or is taking advantage of a situation. But like always, there is a fine line that you have to cross when it comes to this act of patience. As both parties must have mutual respect for one another.

The Science Behind Patience

Often than we want to admit, our patience is tested on the regular Judith Orloff M.D. mentions this on Psychology Today, in her article “Power of Patience The importance of patience as a coping skill and how to achieve it” which she has explains all the many factors that contribute to this. She says ” We need a new bumper sticker: Frustration Happens. Every morning, noon, and night, there are plenty of good reasons to be impatient. Another long line. Telemarketers. A goal isn’t materializing “fast enough.” People don’t do what they’re supposed to. Rejection. Disappointment. How to deal with it all?” which shows truth to this. The link is conveniently listed so you can read more about this https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-freedom/201209/the-power-patience. One thing I will say I have that has been hard to explain as it’s also her subtitle which reads “Emotional Freedom” as she specialist in this. If I could talk to her, I would love to see if the emotional freedom I feel I possess is the real thing. Cause I will admit, this journey has me trying to figure out if I am the real deal. As the only tests I have is my interaction in life and social media.

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In hindsight to the topic of patience, upon my research that I have also that is more remarkable than the benefit. As their is a neurological science behind the act of patience. Which Christopher Bergland which is explained in the subtitle of his blog title, which patience increases “Serotonin increases “the patience effect” if a timely reward is 75% guaranteed.” Which patience plays a huge part in our psyche. Which truth of the matter it not only helps our mood, but helps develop our brain that is not fully understood. Mr. Berglan also brings up a point that he made regarding an analogy of waiting in the drive thru in his article. In a study he references this was he said regarding that study; ” Mice in a lab aren’t much different than humans waiting at the drive-thru or for ketchup to dispense from an old glass bottle. In a recent experiment, researchers pinpointed the role that serotonin plays in “the patience effect” depending on the confidence a mouse has that it’s worth waiting a few extra seconds for a delayed food reward. The new study, “Reward Probability and Timing Uncertainty Alter the Effect of Dorsal Raphe Serotonin Neurons on Patience,” was published June 1 in the journal Nature Communications. This research was conducted by Katsuhiko Miyazaki and colleagues in the Neural Computation Unit at the Okinawa Institute of Science and Technology Graduate University (OIST).” Which only gives us a glimpses of the neuroscience behind this act of patience.

What Truly Is Patience

Contradictory to what people claim patience is, these are the following:

  • the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain without complaint, loss of temper, or anger.
  • an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay.
  • quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence.

Patience is not a behavior it’s a quality that is persistent to these specific characteristic. That lets face it, is tested more than we would like.

In life somewhere along the line, we learned the act of concealing, not feeling. Patience is harder to attain more than we like to admit. Our patience is tested on the regular Judith Orloff M.D. mentions this on Psychology Today, in her article “Power of Patience The importance of patience as a coping skill and how to achieve it” which she has explains all the many factors that contribute to this. She says ” We need a new bumper sticker: Frustration Happens. Every morning, noon, and night, there are plenty of good reasons to be impatient. Another long line. Telemarketers. A goal isn’t materializing “fast enough.” People don’t do what they’re supposed to. Rejection. Disappointment. How to deal with it all?” which shows truth to this. The link is conveniently listed so you can read more about this https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-freedom/201209/the-power-patience. One thing I will say I have that has been hard to explain as it’s also her subtitle which reads “Emotional Freedom” as she specialist in this. If I could talk to her, I would love to see if the emotional freedom I feel I possess is the real thing. Cause I will admit, this journey has me trying to figure out if I am the real deal. As the only tests I have is my interaction in life and social media. For the most part, having balance; I would like to say that boundaries are my saving grace in this.

How to Gain Patience in a Burning World

Sometimes I wish I had a magic wand to just instantly give people the qualities they struggle to attain. I wish I had the simple solution, which ultimately I feel that I do. The irony of this is that people tend to want to dodge the real issue at hand. Which is handling the fact that it works on resolving the underlying issues that prevent you from your growth. Which many people will deny, shame, and gaslight saying that I am the one with these issues. Which my answer is simple “I use to be that person and like you,” but before I can finish that statement, I get the deflection part of it. I feel that it truly comes a sense of conformity that we were all conditioned to do in obedeice of social norms. Kindness is one way to deflect that act. But the what, when where, why, and how always came into my head for me. I’ve always been a overthinker. So for you all who are the same way here are some great tips from Inc.com which I also included the link https://www.inc.com/rhett-power/4-tips-to-help-you-be-a-more-patient-person-science-says-you-will-be-happier.html.

1. Make Yourself Wait

2. Stop Doing Things That Aren’t Important

3. Be Mindful of the Things Making You Impatient

4. Relax and Take Deep Breaths

Conclusion

My mind tends to lean on anxiety when I began doing this research, as nothing really correlated to that in the articles I read. But if you really think about it, it sounds a lot like anxiety. Which tells me when you gain patience, you’re less anxious. Which having patience has proven t be the case for me. I feel a lot more free, a lot more in control of the life around you. Patience is a virtue we all deserve to have I feel, as it allows both parties, the giving and receiving to gain more empathy. We all need some extra time to get things in line, don’t you think. Why not begin the process of earning that in your journey into patience. If you want to gain a super power, begin the process of resolving those demons and skeletons in the closet. It makes the venture easier and makes you more sure of the things you struggle with. As in the end, it seems like it stems from these unresolved issues. Which tends to wilt naturally and in your time. Always remember there is no time table as progress is progress in self development. Which with consistency and persistence, you will achieve that sooner than you think. Like I always say, if I can do it. It should be a walk in the park for you. Don’t forget, I am the poster child of trauma. I’ve been told and attempted to be convince of. Love and respect.