Psychology of Kindness

It’s More Healthier Than You Think

Happiness is something we all tend to strive for. But how do you know if you’re truly happy? One of the things that I came across while doing the research is surprisingly the kindness you give out to the world. It’s not that half ass fake kindness that you see Chanel No. 1 give in Scream Queens or Madison portrays from a spoiled millennial. Which props to Emma Roberts for portraying this characteristic. What makes her an amazing method actress is that on screen persona does’t match her private life identity as she is one of the most humblest and family oriented people in the lime light. Which proves my point that society doesn’t know how to separate fantasy from reality as she is one of the most hated actresses in Hollywood due to the character’s she plays. Kindness doesn’t require recognition at all. Seeing some of the things on social media, those who show a consistency in it are the one’s who are the one’s with genuine acts of it, while some only do it for the recognition of it. Which if you see videos or post after, will determine their true intention of the kind act. As they seem bitter, ungrateful, and unfulfilled for the act they low key really did to gain popularity. Which if they observe more closely at those attempting to show what kindness looks like could learn a thing or two of genuine acts of kindness. As the consistency they show is the reason why they continue to trend.

At the end of the day, those who are genuinely kind, tend to be the most happiest of people alive. As psychologically, demonstrating kindness is truly a emotional medicine as laughter proves to be. Kindness is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. Which if you look at it, it’s not as complicated as we make it. As society has conditioned us to the opposite. As one of the common behavrios that exist in our world is entitlement. Which has no consideration of others than ourselves. Which if you look at it is a selfish act and an act of making yourself more important than someone else. The irony of it is that the victimhood only last for so long. As behavior patterns show that you genuinely are a greedy individual, which those lying to themselves can never comprehend. Kori Miller goes into more in depth of what kindness is in his article What is Kindness in Psychology? (Incl. Activities + Quotes), which is very interactive and taught me a few things that I can improve on when it comes to this act. For your added convenience here is the link https://positivepsychology.com/character-strength-kindness/. Truth is I did this activity with my family, of course translating it for my Spanish speaking relatives, and them being extremely kind, they learned that they have a some areas they definitely can improve on.

Why Kindness is So Important

Perhaps it’s due to the fact that it’s a conditioned behavior that we learn from society. As the line “conceal don’t feel” is the first thing I think about when I think about as this was an iconic line from Disney’s “Frozen.” Where society looks at showing feelings as weakness. The way I see it’s not weakness at all. It’s just building into something much more dangerous and self sabotaging. Which women are the first one’s to be called over emotional. However showing feeling and acting on that action are totally different things. One of the things that I will say is that men probably are the most emotional of them all. I mean can you blame them? Fitting this role of being a perfect man can be overwhelming. However, when it follows action, it’s when it becomes a problem. As men become violent when they over react on a insecurity that begins to build in them. Such a strong women, a common trigger that men seem to have these days. Being that woman I’ve had a fair share of “You want to act like a man, I will teach you what it’s like to be a man,” which unfortunately for them gets their ass beat as I am third degree black belt and acting on self defense. But what follows when I have end up having to defend myself and cops are called, they end up acting like a victim. As I can defend myself and end up handling the situation, I never over react of the events. I attempt to downplay the situation as best I can, but how do you really downplay a man attempting to assault you, right? But the situation at that time is out of my hand, and as he attempted to act in desperation trying to convince police officers that I attacked him and look up the record. In every situation which both non-emergency and emergency reports begin to paint a picture of his past. One that he does’t realize, which in my case begins the state prosecution of a man if had respect and kindness, the event would never occur. Which how is this related to kindness you ask? I have a point I promise. So how do know if someone possess authentic kindness. Psychology tells us it’s those who instill hope. According to John Sean Bole from Psychology Today “Givers are often empathetic.  A genuine concern for others is one of those strengths that make us the most human and rounds out the texture of our lives. In survival literature, empathy is often the trait that enables people to survive human-on-human trauma. (John Sean Bole. Authentic Kindness in Work and in Life. October 14, 2015. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/luminous-things/201510/authentic-kindness-in-work-and-in-life.)” Which means one thing, it instills hope. Not fear. Not doubt. Not insecurity. Not the end. Where in my case, seeing that we have many problems, I still see the hope that change will occur. If you think about it, one of the things that society also has conditioned us to gain, the lack of hope.

You would think that in a world where we need it the most, we would see this a lot more. Well do you know that feeling you get when you have a toxic boss that tends to punish you when you don’t agree with them? I feel that we have that same feeling in this current Presidency. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against POTUS. I was rooting for him to see the light. But for four years it perceives that he was one sided on instilling hope. In leadership, you will not always make people happy, but you can always inspire hope in people. As this will in the end, be the sole responsibility of the person who chooses not to have hope. In leadership, you have to identify ongoing and potential issues that may arise, not wait till the last minute, assuming the worst case scenario situation will never happen. It causes chaos. Which if I go back to my MBA curriculum, would be identified as a failed leadership tactic. How many of you guys low key feel all hope is lost? Keep it to yourself, but I feel it’s low key all of us in the end. As things get worst with no hope for positive change, which in the end that’s what people hope for. There’s an article in Psychology Today that I didn’t get to put, but is something I compell you to read. Marianna Pogosyan Ph.D. makes many strong and valid points in her article “Wy Choose Kindness. Boost your well-being by being kind to others (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-cultures/201904/why-choose-kindness),” as it explains just how powerful and health beneficial it is. Which instilling hope doesn’t have to occur in the bigger world, it starts in your small world. And mastering on restoring hope in your small world. And once you master it in your own world, along with the feelings you get when people doubt your power. You can begin conquering the bigger world.