The Power of Showing Up

In Someone’s Time of Need

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There are times when we feel that we feel like we never have time in her hand. Sometimes we feel like we are spreading ourselves too thin. This feels like the reality for me many times, as I am a caretaker and author full time. Multitasking through caregiving to my disabled father, who currently is fighting through the depression he feels from not being able to walk. Where truth of the matter is, when he gets past that emotional hump, he’s going to be a badass. What can I say, I am my daughters father. My aunt, who currently right now I am sitting with her for support on her first treatment of chemotherapy. Being her first treatment of chemotherapy, she is terrified. As my great aunt died of bone cancer and a complication of the spread of it. Which her biggest fear is that the chemo is going to end her life sooner than she wants it to. With no matter what I tell her, that will be her truth until she see’s it for herself. Which when she saw that I came back after having her set up for her first treatment , her face lit up and said in Spanish “You came back”. Which my answer always will be to those who I love “I always will come back.”

I remember the day when my dad had his stroke and fought to not go to the hospital as he’s deathly afraid of hospitals due to the stigmas that are associated with the realness that Systematics brings in the healthcare world. After dealing with the scared EMS staff who refused to get him at first when COVID first hit; which had me directing the staff through the entire process of steps and checkpoints to reassure them after I made head rolls. The reasons why they were safe from COVID in our home. Which dealing with an erratic and fearful man of realizing after he gained conscious and realizing he was going to the hospital, how to make their jobs easier by keeping him calm; had him respond the same way. I only stayed for a half hour, but it made his day as he began to develop tears in his eyes when he said “You came.” The thought that had him think I wouldn’t show up were for two reasons

  1. Because I worked Uber for twelve hours straight before the book put food on the table.
  2. Because of the fact that he felt guilty about missing my Junior High talent show.

Which in the end I told him, I understand why you missed it. You went through a traumatic experience at your job when you were stereotyped and had Systematic Racism used against you. One talent show isn’t going to take away the years of selfless sacrifice and the hard work you put into trying to provide a happier childhood. The most priceless thing you have ever given me was raising with courage, dignity, empathy, and compassion. Where you always said “be better than me when you grow up.” Which thanks for raising me with gratitude, I became the woman I am today.

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The Power of Showing Up

My favorite childhood psychology books is by Dr. Tina Payne Bryson. Which is one of the most riveting women I must say. She wrote this book called “The Power of Showing Up,” which truth be told has a lot of logic and truth to it. A lot of the things that she expresses was what my single father did as a child. Which is a must read if you are struggling with some resentment in your child raising techniques. She makes many amazing points that made me cry a little as she says a lot what my father did and how he raised me. Which trickled into my empathy skills and the way I tend to my close network. Because we may not always have money but we always have time. Which truth be told can lift a person up in their time of much need. Just picking up the phone is all it takes sometimes, to let those we love know you’re rooting for them. One thing that we must always do is that we make sure we keep our boundaries up for those who attempt to take advantage of our times and other responsibilities. As we live in a world where people try to take a mile when we can only take an inch. But a lot of it comes from fear of the unknown I feel. Which reassurance and consistency on our part is key to reassuring that we have their backs. Even if it’s just a phone call.

Ever have that feeling that you that feeling that you were alone, and when you weren’t happy with what you received when it wasn’t what you want? It’s normal to feel this, however we must always remember that time is valuable for everyone. As someone taking the time makes all the difference to our well being if you have a bit of gratitude in it. Where you in a situation where you had what you wanted, but you never got what you needed? This becomes the same emptiness that you gain as the one thing that gives us a sense of completion in human nature, is the genuine connection. As this is one of the survival instincts that Freud theorized in Human Psychology. Genuine connections is why people you may see that you ask “What are they on” are happy. When they resolved their issues and have gratitude and humility, they are the most unstoppable of happy you will ever meet. Which I feel that is why people resentment me. We fsometimes. Because it’s hard to believe that someone can truly be that happy. It’s because they got everything they need and not what they want. It’s because they may not be in a relationship, but they have genuine connections. It’s because showing up is the best thing you can do for someone. It gives a feeling that someone really cares and that there is hope. And when you consistently show up and express empathy and gratitude, you begin to work on showing that you are genuinely real.