Is Sugar Coating You’re Reality Hindering Your Well-Being

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Perception is everything, right? I talk a lot about the negative impacts that social norms. But one of the relevant things that I have noticed about social norm is an over zealous is the sense of pride. In the “Psychology of Pride” I talk about the origin of where this senes of pride comes from, which is something we all have a bit of. A sense of insecurity. However, in many cases if you really step away from your own life and look into the life of someone else living pride. You will see the negative effects of what pride does. I feel over indulgence of pride is one of the most toxic things anyone can do to themselves. As when you look at the behavior patterns and the things that pride does, it gives a delusion view of how ugly the world around us really is. When observing someone’s glorified pride, you begin to see the things that people do which unknowingly is a sense of self destruction.

Rewinding back to the things that I experienced, both in my life and observing others in this prideful state, you start seeing the realness of the destruction they are facing. As pride triggers an automatic response of having you compare yourself to others giving a sense of self doubt. Prideful people also tend to see the dangers that they surround themselves in. As being around fake friends turns into a sense of perception that you are jealous of them. Only to see them become victim of psychological manipulation. When someone needs help, prideful people tend to assume you think they are vulnerable, when you only want to prevent them from struggling. And in many cases, prideful people will justify the actions in a abusive relationship first starting off with saying that you are jealous because you’re single and then convincing themselves why you are not happy because you’re single. But when shit hits the fan, when their world becomes their own “Pompeii” you begin to see the real picture of a false sense of pride. Where in their deflection, they now are scared to face the world as they beat themselves up for things that were out of their control. Once again in pride.

The Distortion in Pride

In the “Psychology of Pride” I talk about how to identify the sense of pride. Which the kickback I got on it, was you’re not perfect. A sense of deflection in pride. Which I find myself repeating myself in every blog as the thing that I attempt to struggle with is showing my “authenticity” which is what pride makes us do. As a lack of humility is something that we all have in common and have room to improve on. Gordon Linney from the Irish Times makes an amazing analogy of what unhealthy pride can look like as he uses in negative man the analogy of ” a man talking to himself” and in the positive version “a man to talking to a higher power, asking for mercy ( Gordon Linney. Thinking Anew – Pride and self-destruction. October 22, 2016. https://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/religion-and-beliefs/thinking-anew-pride-and-self-destruction-1.2835687.).” Which if you think about is the perfect portrayal of what I mention. As one thing I say is the we talk ourselves up on the things we doubt ourselves on. Which we can relate to in different moments of emotions like “When we undermine our own accomplishments” or “Why someone has it better than we do.” But the truth is a lot of it doesn’t have to do with the things we have control of. It’s the dark history of how our world can be in many times unfair. A comparison I find when I talk amongst my small social group is “the things that we convinced ourselves” in a moment of adversity and systematics. Which the relevant thing is that we all did not want to admit the reality of being untreated fairly. Which what comes also in pride, the act of beating ourselves up and feeling like we are worthless. Which is a side effect of unhealthy pride.

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During the moment when I had nothing to lose and little to gain, I started to think about the things that I had control over in my life. Which reflecting on it and seeing the things I didn’t do to gain control, I realized that pride was the thing that held me back in so many things. The shaming, the belittling, the using materialistic items was all because of the pride that stemmed from insecurities. When I dissected it more I found the root to that insecurity. Which was the feeling of being undesirable as my mom refused to have a relationship with me. And when I did have a relationship with her, it was always in conditions. Which I grew to accept as a social norm. When I re-examined the situation and began to have empathy, it revealed something I never would of seen. That she also had this sense of feeling the same way, as she internalized a lot of her traumas and in pride tried to justify the bad behaviors she did along with the bad behaviors my maternal family engaged in. Which compelled me to “stop the vicious circle” that seemed to be a norm in my family dynamic. Which telling them the reason’s why I wrote what I wrote in my book could not have them understand the true intention. As pride is the key factor that keeps them protected from the true feelings they don’t want to feel and admit to the trauma they experienced. If you look at the bigger picture, you begin to see this is why society refused to change. As pride is more stronger than we give credit for. In a healthy version, it makes us beat the odds as the confidence in ourselves gets us past the hurdles. But in an unhealthy version, it puts the country and the world in jeopardy. Which in the end, we suffer for someone else’s mistake.

Everyone plays an importance in the Universe I realize. Where the domino effect, turn circle jerk, turn ripple effect is one thing I came up with and believe in. Our internalized feelings has all those feelings come out. In the circle jerk, we find like minded people that can relate with our pain, which turns a group of people of course in pride, justifying the bad behaviors in a over zealous sense of pride that becomes entitlement. Which becomes the ripple we let out that becomes a wave of bad behaviors that begins to trend. Like the COVID virus that started off small and became a world wide pandemic. That’s the effect we have. We might be one small person but we can spread negative ideologies like a virus. Which in the end disables us from making the change that we all need in these tough times. Which in self confidence and the ridicule that I get about being a negative person, never becomes my truth. As I am not here lying to you about the world being rainbow and gumdrops. On the contrary. I am telling you that it’s not rainbow and gumdrops, but that there’s hope. Where that hope starts with us. In my previous self doubt and prideful state, it was easy to convince me otherwise. Which I confirmed to those social norms of how I should be based the perception. I am here to tell you, you’re more than what you perceive, as your uniqueness is one that the world should see. And if they can’t accept it, fuck them. And if they give you shit, I got you with no judgment. As individuality is the most unique and wonderful thing that is genuine to us. We should aim to be like someone. We should aim to be our true selfs. With inspirations from others who are inspirational. Because why live in a confirming world, when diversity is the one thing we all need. And truth be told, that is how we make America great again. Where starting on accepting the things that are wrong and finding ways to change them in a senseless may be the superpower you truly never knew you had.

Published by Frieda Lopez at Frieda the Writer

Frieda Lopez is a Texas Native, born in the heart of San Antonio's West Side Community. Frieda attended Lanier High School and primarily attended Memorial High School where she graduated with the class of 2001. Raised in a blended family dynamic, Ms. Lopez gained her noble character from the women she admired and loved the most, her grandmothers. Frieda attended Alamo Community College where she majored in Liberal Arts primarily studying on biology, sociology, philosophy, psychology, and creative writing and shortly attended University of Incarnate Word. She gained a MBA from AIU and has actively participated in local fashion shows until she moved to Houston returning back August 2019. She began her career in healthcare, where she gained the skill of being able to not only resolve conflicts but reach out and engage in the community through her time serving as health care relations customer care and outreach representative. After being let go from her employer which she last served as a Customer Relations Representative for DentaQuest, she began her journey in retail where she came part of the leadership team a month of working as a part time representative for MarketSource and build a relationship with her local Target team. She later served five years with Amtel T-Mobile as a Store Manger after moving to Houston to pursue a management position with unfortunately ended in adversity which opened the opportunity of writing her first book "Journey of an Unraveled Road" will be releasing her second book a fiction based series titled "The Rideshare Chronicles" with the first book to the installment titled "Destination Destiny."

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