The Psychology of Wrath

One thing that is very apparent is that in society, we tend to over dramatize things. Am I right? Problems seem bigger than what they seem, but when we resolve it, we think why was I being so dramatic about it? If you are still in denial then you haven’t learn a damn thing, as pride is rearing it’s ugly head or your just envious that I have some logic behind this? But why do we feel what we feel? The consistent emotion that comes from learning about the psychology of the seven deadly sins is that fear is the trigger that enables our insecurity. That begins the vicious domino effect of degrading our own self worth. Which in the circle jerk theory begins the vicious bandwagon effect due to the fear of being alone in a idealism. Which the ripple, well we all know the story of that. As we face this in our reality these days.

Wrath is associated with anger. Like every internalized emotion it begins to rage which is moderate anger. Which still internalizing the anger based off of the other sins turns to wrath. The extreme version of anger that starts the ripple in our pointless and often irrational vendetta. Where internalizing these feeling of our own self doubt enables the other sins. Which in our risk perception can make things be more dramatized than it really is. Which in consequential Sin, when we enable someone else’s fears, we become guilty by association. Where those who have it in them to take a life, become the battery that charged that vehicle from running into a the gates of hell, taking lives on it’s path of destruction.

What Is Anger

Neel Burton M.D. from Psychology Today starts off with the perfect intro as he quotes anger being ” a common and potentially destructive emotion that turns many a human life into a living hell.” Which he also makes a reference as “It’s hard to imagine a truly wise person like the Dalai Lama ever losing his temper. By a careful meditation, we can learn to control our anger and maybe even banish it entirely from our lives.” Which he also says “Anger is perhaps best defined or understood negatively, by comparing and contrasting it with overlapping emotions such as resentment, contempt, irritability, hatred, and loathing (Neel Burton M.D. The Psychology and Philosophy of Anger. December 09, 2018. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201812/the-psychology-and-philosophy-anger.).”

In many situations, when two opposing teams have a sense of anger it starts a fight. When both teams process rage, it starts a battle. When both sides present the emotion of wrath. It starts a war. Which many of these war start by seeing who’s riffle is bigger. Which is pointless in the end, which makes them just as equally liable of the innocent lives that are sacrificed in this war. Because when it’s a war of egos, it’s a selfish vendetta of seeing who has the bigger gun. But what happens when the opposite team doesn’t present rage at the end of the day. I share a very sorrowful story in my book that deals with the presence of wrath. Where a girl who took a young boys rejection as personal, which encompassed with daddy issues and a history of child abuse as her father molested her, she claimed the boy raped her. Having evidence that this was false, as the girl attempted to seduce the boy in the boys living room, which his mother had video surveillance as for her protection as a single mom, she had the thing recorded as truthfully speaking she didn’t trust the girl nor her mom. As her mom confessed to her that she also was molested by her father and was afraid she brought a monster back into her house as the father was abusive to her as well. In her wrath fueled by rejection both parties went with the rape story, causing the young boy to be prosecuted as a sex offender. And finding out later as she shared her story, was belittled and stereotyped as she was told it’ because he doesn’t have a father in his life, didn’t take the video surveillance as evidence. Which in desperation as the boy at 17 years old lost his full scholarship to an ivy league school, took his own life. Which his mom came home after a long day of work, to her son’s dead body and the gun he used to end it all. Which being the Erin that I am, found out that both the daughter and the mother on her 18th birthday got arrested for prostitution. Which internalizing the pain and already getting away with one crime, ended up also getting an attempted murder charge as they attempted to kill the victim they preyed on.

Ways To Stop Anger

It’s perfectly normal for humans to get angry. A right amount of angry can be healthy. Do you think I was rainbow and gumdrops thoughout this whole journey? If you are told yes, I will be first to tell you that’s “Fake News.” As a matter of fact, anger helped fuel my fight. I was angry of the things that happen in today’s society as normal. I will also be the first to say that I was a bit “naive” prior to the journey to think that these normals of soceity was going to be an easy fix for the internalized pain that I had. For people to say no “internalized” pain doesn’t exist is a flat out lie. And if they don’t recall, they purposely forgot due to the things that go with emotions in today’s society. “Conceal, don’t feel” Elsa from Frozen once said. Which is why in the grim version of the “Snow Queen” she was such an evil bitch. Like always their are things to cope with the anger.  Kimberly Holland which is backed up by Timothy J. Legg, Ph.D., my favorite Ph.D btw, give us 25 tips on how to control this sense of anger that can lead to wrath, which for plagiarism purposes here are a few (Kimberly Holland. Reviewed by Timothy JJ. Legg, Ph.D. How to Control Anger: 25 Tips to Help You Stay Calm. January 29, 2019. https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/how-to-control-anger#1.)

1. Count down

2. Take a breather

3. Go walk around

4. Mentally Escape

5. Play some tunes

6. Take action

7. Write a Journal (which always was a way to help me record my feelings btw)

Conclusion

It’s time to embrace the #weareinthistogether mantra as even in sin, we are all equally guilty. Which shame only makes it worst. But why feel shame, when it’s all programed in human nature. But human nature is also intended to learn from our mistakes. I always journaled when I was a kid, which as an adult and looking back to the entries before an infested mold filled apartment that I had to chunk it all away, I looked back at some of the past entries. Which had a lot of consistent events that reflecting on things, realized were things I didn’t control. As taking accountability of the things I didn’t control that was controllable, fell on me. There’s nothing we can do to change the past, but we can make the future better. Journaling was a record keeper of myself of not only the mistakes that I made, but the progress that I made. It’s normal to try to forget our traumas, but running away from them has them coming after us. Which the move to Houston four years ago before I moved to San Antonio, TX now going on two years made me realize one thing. That the internalized feeling we attempt to forget sometimes snowballs into something far worst. Where the act of running away every single time only makes it worst and has bigger predators after us. One of the things I learned in this venture, which was told to me by Mama P (RIP my sergeant Black Pattern Mom) was that you got to play your stereotype. People will always underestimate your abilities she once told me. But knowing yourself will make all those things that once affect you, have you immune to them. I remember during the rape thing at my night job, she always looked after me. Where being in my apartment with some emotionally absent and entitled wanna be socialites, I took Lucas with me and stayed the weekend one night. While eating gumbo one hot summer night in her zero degree home she had in The Woodlands, we watched Frozen, one of her favorite movies (believe it or not). Which she had me sing “Let It Go” as I busted into tears. This was one of my happy memories of her before COVID hit. During the discrimination case which involved sexual harassment, sexual assault, and retaliation that I turned down a settlement thanks to my conscious that is Bethany; my legal team, she had me sing “Let It Go” mid movie. Which she held me tight as she said “You’re going to do great things after this.” Which in my book I did. I became fearless, courageous, and selfless; which still not in the bigger picture share this with my audience that I am humbled to have. The last time I saw her, which ironically she said she knew she had a little bit of time left, she said to always remember her and the things she taught me and that even if she wasn’t here with me physically, she would always be here in spirit. She was Godly and always questioned the morals of people as she revealed the Sins of the world. Which this is how this blog series was inspired. As I feel her presence while finishing this blog post, I look back at the things I’ve gained from her lessons. Where the one’s who use to control me, have no power over me anymore. Which she said I one day would master. As I sit hear honoring her legacy, I feel blessed and humbled as my journey doesn’t include my struggle, it includes all our struggles. As you read this, I too feel that you agree. Sorry for evoking emotions. But now you know you’re not alone. Because how she always believed whether your black, white, brown, or extraterrestrial; in the end in a fearful and burning world, we are truly all in this together. And Mama P, if you”re hear by side as I finish this post. I am eternally grateful for being the mother I needed in my most hardest and darkest of nights. Thanks for the courage you help me together. And like always, see you at the finish line on the other side. ❤ <3.