The Subconscious Mind

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Have you ever had one of those moments when you were triggered? Where you are completey happy and then pissed off the next by what someone said or did? Or have you been so sad and then were overcome by joy after someone did something to remind you f a good time in your life? That is what it feels like when we get triggered. Everything that we have gone through triggers an emotions, memory, feeling, and action. Usually the bad stuff is what instills fear, but what happens when you resolved that issue completely? On second thought what happens when that trigger comes and you realize that you are completely healed by it. It’s what makes our legendary stories of heroes in fiction and fan fiction. It’s a power you realize after all these years of living in fear, you realize one thing. That you really got this.

Out of all the things that I have faced in life, I think the sexual assault thing, both taking place in the work place was one of the hardest things I had to deal with. I am not going to lie, maybe it was what had me dodging a regular job. In Uber, it’s happened a little more than I imagined, but I realized that I had nipped that in the bud a long time ago. Thankfully it never happened in my Uber venture. Truth is, I never let it happened because I was quick on setting boundaries with attempts when men thought it was okay to touch a bitch. I mean what does a guy do when he attempts to touch you and you tell him “Try that again and you’ll be on the way to emergency room.” Truth is, overcoming that vulnerable feeling that I once got two years ago when the attempt was made helped me over come the whole traumatic deer in a headlight feeling you get when trouble brews. Which last night, the trigger caused by a guy in my neighborhood who said some not so nice and vulgar things had him looking like a deer in a headlights when he said what he did. Which on cloud nine, I was happy af. When he triggered that memory, it went south quickly. Which truth is. If you really think about it, it was the cause of his effect. Where his entitled persona, which my dad says shows a history of them causing trouble and taunting the neighbors, hopefully taught them a lesson that night. That try that again, and you’ll reap the consequences.

People don’t see the benefits that occurs when you resolve these issues. As a matter of fact they use the common gaslighting approach pretending that things like that don’t happen in this world. Which maybe explains why when they talked about the “pandemic” happening across the pond, I immediately thought, it’s going to get ugly. Which had me preparing for a worst case scenario like if it was going to be something from “The Walking Dead,” which Abuela was like “You’re overreacting.” But when it hit the U.S., Abuela was thankful for my overzealous reaction. When they talked about people fighting and killing one another in panic, I told her “I got this” which never happen in our neck of the woods, which last night when I was going to wipe the floor with that guy, it made realize something, even in a fight or flight mode and if ever put in that situation again, my response will have me fighting with everything I got. And most of you would of said, “You should of let it go.” But what usually happens when you let things go. They continue to do that bad shit, as they always have having people let it go every time. With the things never getting better. Knowing that they could get away with it, had them try that with me. Which rumor has it, they have engaged in sexual assault situations as well. Well with me that night, not today Satan, not today.

Every time I try to make sense of things that I don’t understand, I turn to an awesome BBC podcast called “Hidden Brain” which talks about the unconscious psyche and how it works, which this weeks podcast was about Laughter and how it’s an amazing medicine. Which circles around the insight of triggers and how laughter is found in animals as well. Which of course it would. I mean animals have their own unique personality too. I mean seeing a turtle have an attitude and a rooster being attached after saving him gave me all the proof I need to confirm that fact. If you’re not into podcast, I would recommend this being the first podcast you tune into as the host makes so many amazing and great points that has you like “woah.” Truth is we live in a triggering world that’s burning at that. We all have our fair share of these moments. It’s how you are going to allow these moment to affect you. The good, the bad, and the ugly ones. Which in many blogs I write about the things that we don’t admit to, which this is the most important one we have to admit to and have to face I feel. When we live fearful, we make ourselves vulnerable. When we become prideful, we end up over compensating our abilities. It’s not always bad, but it becomes a problem when you put yourself at risk. Truth is sometimes we become afraid of our own capabilities, which becomes a fear of success. When I realized this, I would think what did I just released. But if you think about it, I opened something much more hopefully. Instead of releasing the seven deadly sins, I released the virtues that we all need, that I will dive into in The Psychology of The Seven Virtues that will follow after this blog series. Which if you ask me, we could use in this superficial era. And like my favorite heroine, Captain Marvel believe me or not and in her iconic line, “I don’t have to prove anything to you.” But let’s be real, you know it’s times for virtue too.