Whitney Houston ft Mariah Carey – When You Believe (The Prince of Egypt)
One of the things that is hard to gain in the journey was courage of conviction. Already tainted by my ex-fiance in telling my family I was a drug addict and them passive aggressively keeping that from me was already a challenge during the journey. The most heartbreaking moment in the journey is when my most loved aunt and Godmother had the assumption when I told her I needed to do what I had to do to fight for my self respect after being retaliated against and her telling me “to just find another job” and that “I was looking for trouble” laid the bombshell that came out as “Don’t ask me for money” followed by “I knew you were doing drugs” then blaming him for the assumption when she told me “it’s because of him your doing drugs.” That dark day I almost committed suicide, but something told me that I had to do this no matter how hard it was for me emotionally.
It took me back one New Years Eve when my abuela and I went to see The Prince of Egypt which made me identify with “Moses” as this was in light of the MeToo movement and the realization that I too was part of that movement on a small scale. I had many chances to go public with it, however it was a personal battle I had to do on my own to prove to myself that I would follow through without the aid of publicity and camera. It helped me write the book. A million reasons to give was very apparent as it seemed hopeless after the illegal eviction, which brought to light that people were using a stereotype to gain leverage. One of the things that almost made me give up since things weren’t visibility showing results, but a year later I have a book, became a lifestyle coach, helped others in sexual assault through Uber, and helped saved the lives of those who in the same path where in the brink of suicide as the hope they had in people and themselves was slowly disappearing with the blanket statement of “you did this to yourself” which in the midst of hopelessness has those “blaming themselves” and “feeling worthless” in something they had no control of. As we can’t control the actions or the accountability they refuse to take in the tragedy they cause to us directly in sake of self preservation. Which in the end is an act of bystander effect. But when you begin to believe, stay consistent, and gain courage of conviction, the sky is the limit. And that’s when miracles happen.