So with all the catastrophic things happening in the world, I felt that I would refrain from talking about current events. I will say that during my time in quarantine, I was finally able to see the movie I have been wanting to see for a very long time, Second Act. Now for the longest time, I have been a #jenniferlopez fan, like the biggest. I always since high school, always aspired to be like her. I am glad that I was able to see this movie post journey after writing my freshman book “Journey of An Unraveled Road”. Now I am not going to into too much detail because what’s the point of writing a book if I am going to tell you what happened in the journey. What I will say when shit hit the fan earlier this year, when I finally was retaliated against on August 1st 2019, I spent so many countless nights wondering what the hell I was gonna do even when I decided to fuck shit up. But seeing this movie post journey, I realized something that I wish I knew after writing the book, that I truly am the master of my own sails in the journey.
Even if you don’t want to admit, I will say we all are kind of fucked up in the head, not like psychopathic fucked up, but like we always have the voice of someone from our past always telling us that we are not good enough, that we are not doing our best, that there is no excuse for the things that have happened to us. But the truth of the matter is that no matter how much we point the finger, we are our biggest enemy. We always try to prove something to others and tell ourselves we are proving it to ourselves, but who are we kidding. We all walk different paths in different shoes, which is why compassion is key to everything, even in the crisis we face. We all have different thought processes and acquire different things, it’s one thing to support and one thing to enable which is the one thing we have to understand within ourselves to truly understand the triggers we start identifying within ourselves within others. When tend to easily judge others and analyze someone else without even realizing that we are probably guiltier of doing this than others. The beautiful thing is we are not perfect and we are allowed to make mistakes; but growth is crucial in this process.
One of the things that started my book journey was dot journaling which was far more fun than regular writing. Dot journaling not only made my creative juices flowing by enabling both writing and artistic skills. Mind you with ADHD, I have no patience sometimes, especially since ADHD medication is expensive as hell without health insurance that I ended up losing me after Sprint fired me when they asked for a doctors release from a workers comp injury I provided six months before the retaliation of not only this offense, but 2 others. Thankfully in dot journalling, you have templates and stencils you can use to create all kinds of things. I had two journals, one all about me, which I will be honest didn’t complete due to the book writing and another of a planner I manually created that I never used, with the writing, ride sharing, and the pandemic….there is nothing exciting happening in my life other than eat, sleep, and tell Siri to remind about with “Hey Siri”. This is what started this journey of reflection and of becoming limitless. One of the things that haunted me that I was told, which in the movie Mya was told is “good luck finding a job that will put up with you”, which mine was a little more degrading by my first manager, but we won’t go into that. It was hard because for me, I sacrificed my life to gain my MBA, rebuild work experience in a industry thanks to my first amazing mentor gave me the chance to prove myself was as I said in my book “in the hands of one vindictive man trying to cover his ass”. Dot journaling helped me oddly gain my power back 1. by revisiting the person I use to be as a child 2. the person I was aspiring to be and 3. the person I was going to be moving forward.
One thing as my amazing friend living in Germany always said pre journey always said “I am a crier” which if introduced to the public eye, you will also see, she and many of my many sisters and even brothers who stood in arms with me through the darkest of my days, that this is just a bump in the world as once you gain your power, you will be limitless. For the longest time I didn’t believe it, but one thing I realized during this journey is that as Jennifer Lopez quotes in the movie “Everyday is a second chance to be the person your meant to be”.