Enabling the Act of Corruption

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In today’s society, we fight for a cause. It’s what we have to do these days to defend our rights. Right? However in today’s society I feel justice is never served with bias. Why? Because of the fact that we are trying to justify wrongs with wrongs, leaving those who suffer trauma, the victims left to pick up the pieces of trauma they in many cases never get a fair chance to heal. Why do I bring this up you might ask? Because it’s the idealism of an “Eye for an Eye” or an act of “Revenge” per say. In some cases it’s preserving our freedom even when we are in the wrong, where gaslighters will use mistakes in someone’s past or things they may have cornered to due to make a living. As the “it’s the choices someone chooses” or “they caused it themselves” don’t apply With COVID diminishing the ability to secure jobs and having businesses closing down due to the fear of contracting a disease that we still yet have a vaccine for, those “blanket statements” don’t apply anymore. As the dog eat dog world we live in has been more vivid than we ever imagined. Which gaslighting is the number one tactic in trying to prove innocence in all court cases. Leaving out the facts and using the act of racism in systematic

“They hate because they fear, and they fear because they feel that the deepest feelings of their lives are being assaulted and outraged. And they do not know why; they are powerless pawns in a blind play of social forces”

Richard Wright, Native Son

The Reality

We live in a society where your worth is determined by the beauty you possess, the positions you carry, the money you make, the house you live, and the car you drive. It’s measured by the followers you have and the compliments you get. But let’ be real it’s all an illusion of that is filled with insecurities fueled by those who have envy, wrath, and more insecurities than you as they secretly follow you with one common agenda, to see the day you fall. But in hindsight you have those who really admire your accomplishments and look up to you at the same time. The common outcome is that when you fall from grace, the majority will disappear, those who admire you will motivate you, and if you’re lucky; those who have the financial mean will help you get back in the race. In many cases luck has a lot to do it, as it is “the right place at the right time scenario” but in my case, Lady Luck has never graced me with her presence. Which others not blessed with that have to work harder than most to get into the race. Systematics is the hypothetical hurdles that the majority of us face on a consistent bases. If you don’t believe me then tell me this. Why are some individuals resentful of their upbringing? Why do people through the money they try to emphasize why you are what they perceive a commoner or bottom feeder? Which in their deflection they throw their financial blessings in your face. Or comparing the car you drive? Or the clothes they wear? Or the things they can afford? Should I continue? Or are you getting my point.

Truth is that many of those who gain this in luck struggle with remaining humble. Now don’t get me wrong, when you work your ass off to gain the things that you earned, you have every right to be proud. But as everything is about balance, you have to stop and reanalyze your actions as it’s easy to indulge in sin. As gluttony in pride where you forget those who supported you along the way and/or become so dependent on proving you’re worth through outlets such as this and engage in insecurity and focus on the true beacon. You. As insecurity stems from a feeling of fear. And as the fear that begins to surface, is the potential of the outcome of losing these things that has afforded you the respect you gained from others. Which in this journey, I avoid the price tags that come with my success as it comes. As the lesson in Houston, which resulted due to someone’s act of discrimination, act of sexual harassment, act of sexual assault, and the act of retaliation in the acts that were unjustifiable as gaslighting was the key to helping get rid of the threat I became. Which now holding the power that people undermined, became a vigil of guilty parties throwing each other under the bus, still in the systematics that they assumed I would stay in, while during my true recovery and reflection, that started off as book. Turned into my mission stemmed by passion to help others out of the invisible chains. Which turning my passion of helping others and truly feeling empathy, helping those who are receptive on how to escape from a life that may in the afterlife condemn them into places they really in nature, are not meant to go there. As my theory of the domino effect, turn circle jerk, turn ripple effect is the way that we all trap ourselves both who initiate it and those who receive it as their absolute truth.

The Domino Effect, Turn Circle Jerk, Turn Ripple Effect Theory

Yes it’s derogatory, but before you are in total resentment to this theory, hear me out. Things always start with us. As many of us hold internalized feelings that result from trauma. No matter how big or small the trauma is. Trauma is trauma. If it means something to you, it matters. The reason why I say this is because of this. We all don’t walk the same line. Some of us have it worst. A disturbance in our normality is traumatic and if we don’t heal from it, it becomes internalized and behaviors begin to worsen more and more over time. Which is why when someone says “You’re over exaggerating” my reply is “Stay in your lane Becky.” As if you carry these pains in your way to success. It still leaves those with an empty feeling that now with the financial means, takes those into a darker place as they now have the money to afford designer vices, which dependent on those crutch become worst and worst over time. When someone tips over the domino in it’s delicate balance, feelings begin to surface quicker than a flag in a pride parade. During this process we come across paths with others desperately seeking to identify with someone in our time of turmoil, which always will encounter that one person who we identify with as they feel the same things we do. We find in the process of meeting them of outlets that act like bandaids, feeling shame in acting in that feeling as we feel. So those who don’t know what a circle jerk is, it’s when men get together and self gratify sexually together in a safe place. Where inhibitions get thrown out the window and stays in a safe place. Which hey, if that’s your thing do it. It’s better to be in a safe place with trusted people. However, in many accounts that I am told about stops becoming a safe place when the intentions of others become dark, and manipulation rears it’s ugly head when the entitlement comes to play. The worst part of it, guilting someone for doing something they normally wouldn’t do if those insecurities where out the window becomes an act of manipulation that begins the process of bandwagon. Some for the same team. Some for the opposing team of the circle jerk. And as I believe we all have an effect in the world, begin to release our ripples into the world that begin to influence others, doing the same things we learned in that circle jerk of voluntarily engaged in. Where the lies we begin to tell ourselves to ease that traumatic moment is what fuels us on our journey, turning a blind eye in those triggered events not wanting to think about that traumatic moment and go on our way. Which is why resolving those internalized issues is key of healing and becoming the greatest we were meant to be. As knowing one’s self is the key to becoming unstoppable.

“Rather, I plead with you to see a mode of life in our midst, a mode of life stunted and distorted, but possessing its own laws and claims, an existence of men growing out of the soil prepared by the collective but blind will of a hundred million people. I beg you to recognize human life draped in a form and guise alien to ours, but springing from a soil plowed and sown by our own hands. I ask you to recognize laws and processes flowing from such a condition, understand them, seek to change them. If we do none of these, then we should not pretend horror or surprise when thwarted life expresses itself in fear and hate and crime.”

 Richard Wright, Native Son

Why Change Is Crucial

You’re probably thinking in that very moment about the reality that is setting in on the actions that you may remembered after reading that last paragraph. It’s perfectly normal to feel what you feel as I felt the same exact way. Feel what you feel. Let it out. Get mad. Cry. But whatever you do, don’t give in and don’t beat yourself up. We live in a world that this is the common social norm which is why healing is the first step of gaining the change that we need to see. You can’t beat yourself up on this because you were in a vulnerable state. Vengeance is the not the key as insecurity will never go away. As it will snowball into a vendetta that is unjustifiable full of stereotyping, discriminating, and causing more havoc in the world. This right here is why I am compelled to go back to school to become a psychologist. It’s hard to be open about these things without having someone tell you that your over reacting. Usually it comes from those who do the same thing in their denial. It’s okay. We all aren’t ready to deal with that. The only thing you have to focus on is the most important person. You. You can’t get too caught up on the scenario because it’s only going to make your actions worst. You can’t change the past or your decision, what’s done is done. Which is why you should focus on healing once healing comes, you look at it as a learning lesson. You become fierce and a warrior. A song that I encountered that was coincidentally appropriate was a song from FUTURISTIC called “The Greatest.” It explains the true authentic and humbled purpose of what happens when you get to the threshold of greatness and what happens when you depend on yourself. Which is what I am feeling that is happening to me no matter how dark things are. Maybe all this time in my doubt I was always a legend in the making?

After Thoughts

Life is about making changes for the better. We all have something and run from something. There comes a point where we have to stop being afraid, stop turning a blind eye, and stop accepting the entity that is systematic racism. America claims to be the place of opportunity and equality but we are far from that pipe dream. When we belittle those in lower places due to circumstance and idolize those with power, we end up seeing a bias and skewed perception as many of those born into it don’t know the truth act of struggle. But at the same time you have those in those positions that end up gettin away with it. For instance like the Melendez Brothers. There are accounts that indicate that before they committed murder, they pleaded for help which was denied as their father; who molested both brothers, had everyone convinced that he was a good person. Using gaslighting to demonize his sons. When they committed the murder they were shamed and demonized due to one of the son’s sexuality, which if the pleas of help were considered; could have nipped that in the bud. What if the brothers got help in their moment of desperation to get out of a oppressed place in their own tax bracket? Would have they committed murder still? Or was committing murder the only way out of a oppressed situation? Which in the end the mom knew about and engaged in abuse. If the fear of losing the lavish lifestyle wasn’t a thing? Would they have lived a happily ever after? That is something that unfortunately is a something we may never find out.

Published by Frieda Lopez at Frieda the Writer

Frieda López is the writer for Journey of an Unraveled Road who was born and raised in San Antonio, TX. Through her professional career in Customer Relations and Retail Management, she has utilized her experience and interactions with the behavioral patterns, which was used to start her personal journey with Journey of A Unraveled Road as her debut novel. She has completed philosophy, psychology, and theology courses at San Antonio College as well as creative writing courses. Frieda López has been a lifelong writer since 2nd grade. A survivor of childhood trauma, childhood abuse, and domestic violence, she wrote this piece, which started this book as her personal journey; works from home in San Antonio, TX.

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