I start this blog off with Imagine Dragons “Thunder” as the lyric “I was lighting before the thunder” because this was the absolute truth. Telling those who’s ability I underestimated telling them the passive aggression action that I lied to myself that I would do. But still allowed the shit to happen, which made me foot my down when those who thought would cross them knew I meant it. Leaving them caught off guard deflecting things they knew were the reason into guilting me into thinking I had a problem. Now that my loan forgiveness application submitted, I’m a semester away from going back to school for a degree psychology, I am on the way to credentialing myself to those who continue to doubt my logic to better equipped myself with the training to enhance my knowledge further. And I have no resentment or hate either. Haters are gonna hate even after I get my credentials. Hoping that I don’t complete my studies and knowing that I will, will day things to discredit me when I’m passing them up. That’s always going to be the case. Because it has nothing to do with me, cause truth is I broke the chains. And the bitterness comes from being left behind in their unethical character. But as long as they show sincerity to change, will give them the opportunity to still in the end gain redemption.
Breaking the chains is a a self powering moment anyone can experience in life, it not only presents the opportunity to empower yourself for better, it gives those in their errors learn from their mistakes. Which accountability is learning tool to improve one’a self. In lighter days with time I spent my mom, something she doesn’t have to admit to me. She saw the power I had to influence when she would sing Bananarama’s “Venus” which all the good memories that brought so much happiness to my life will never be forgotten. No matter what I will always love her which is why the American Idol in this last goodbye, Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” as I only enabled her bad behavioral patterns in my insecurities. Because those who truly value in their misperception and their guilt will in the end alway make you the person that you are really not. Because your when you know what you need to get yourself right and already proving that you can perceiver. A misconception that lets face it, will alway be the way they perceive you throughout life, with a false perception that they knew you better. Will end up being as when they enable you in the bad behaviors in their guilt and sympathy will be the excuse in the end you will win with in justifying the attempts you really didn’t give your all as the excuse why you never succeeded. Another ripple that decredits the character you gained in your initial struggle.
So before I started my day of rideshare driving I ended up of course, holding the couple accountable of their emotional outburst that put me abs others in danger by trying to side swipe me, that car cam showed they did after saying that they threatened them, which showed their flicking me off and erratic behavior in their actions. And after they avoided me in traffic by going the opposite way I was, wasn’t even important to me which hopefully manipulating the truth as the officer said would not be tolerated, only proves what I’m about to say next. I’m only proving a point because of my theories in a book I wrote. That after it’s done and you serve no purpose, I will walk away as the importance you shown of your self and your actions is going to be the disrespect. I I need to walk away from you till you prove otherwise. And in that lesson, that couple learns not to play with fire as there is always someone who will always show us a lesson on accountability.
Brie Lawson plays the perfect Captain Marvel. In the epic fight scene she has in her solo debut in Captain Marvel, she holds everyone accountable to the very end of the movie, putting hope and faith in everyone that valued the most including herself, stopping a behavior she showed in the beginning, the conflict she had within herself. This is the ripple we do to ourselves conditioned to be afraid of certain threats. Like Macklemore raps “Legend is exodus searching for euphoria” in “Glorious” making me realize that I another lyric sings “I’ve made it through the darkest of the night and I will see the sun rise” as my next example shows my conditioned bad and comprising behavior ended being excuses for my half ass efforts before.
Today was a way to keep myself accountable on the psycho babble I talk about in my blogs and my book. While seeing a elder lady attempting to pass a busy intersection that she almost got hurt as everyone honked at her to move, and looked while they felt bad stopped to ask if she needed a ride. Already convinced she was taking my time, stopped and looked for her in a grocery store that she left as she said to come back in an hour. Telling a rider who said girls can’t find things after he said he was near a tree with a stone base that had multiple trees with the same base st the complex. And in the same ride getting insulted by my response after he demanded in confidence to hang out still told him he was a good person. And when he said your crazy to care stand up for others said, that’s why we never see things change and said in a minute silence, your right. And my dad who after saying the rest that I knew I needed to feel better said it was me being lazy, had a broken heart crying and said you pulled my head out of my ass and thanked him as he knew I was having a flare up of systems said it’s not his fault. If someone first did the right thing at Sprint, I would of had FMLA and benefits to get her care I needed. But it was my fault as well. I knew the warning signs as I was told by so many people before. That even though I hold myself accountable, they didn’t hold themselves accountable. That in their act of underestimating me, I have a bigger purpose. To say the things that we never want to admit. And the hoe Basic Betty made me out, as in Gwen Stefani’s “What you Waiting For” quotes “take a chance you stupid hoe” cause if I didn’t, I would never saw how great life could be now, if I kept waiting. Brings my question to you the reader, What you waiting for? Now as she also says “I know it’s so messed up on how society thinks. So go rewrite your journey.