She could feel the hot oppressive air hit her face in orange glow of the most traumatic moment of her life. She was gasping for air and for a moment, stunned in the image of the rising shadow that was overpowering her normally intimidating figure. She paused for a minute to see where she could turn in the maze that was Enchanted Rock, determining if she should turn and swim across the murky water that stood between her and freedom or if she should go into the ocean of paths in the maze of boulders in the deserted park . For the first time in her life she felt that this might be the end of her life.
“I can’t swim fast enough to escape,” she told herself in paralyzed fright.
She could hear the gaping sound of the screech behind her and she continued to go down the maze of paths. She was for the first time regretting the fact that she didn’t work out like her uncle told her back when she was 17.
“You need to stay fit if you’re going to take this MMA stuff serious” she could hear him say in her head.
“I know Uncle Mike,” she said in her head in a condescending way like she always did. Maybe today is the day I meet my maker and join you on the other side,” she said jokingly which was her normal way of dealing with traumatic events as she always did.
She could hear the crunching of the leaves getting closer. It crunched like potato chips as it got closer and closer as it paused. She could hear the screaming of the campers she attempted to warn as she ran pasted the foolish and clique couple. She could hear the screams and a plea for their life and then a pop. The pop sounded like the popping of her favorite hood rat snack, her Flaming Hot Cheetos.
“Fuck! That bastard found those naïve hipster campers. Fucken idiots,” she told herself in the conversation in her head.
“Alessandra, idiots are fucken idiots! You can’t save everyone!’ Uncle Mike scolded in her head.
“You always told me to not have tolerance or pity idiots” she reassured herself as she continued down the bending path that was trail number three.
“You’re regretting taking that cardio regimen serious now, huh Miss Know It All. It would have helped you in swimming that river like you were swimming the Rio Grande.” Uncle Mike said in that joking way he always did when he was alive.
“If you’re going play Morgan Freeman Tio, be a little more motivating unless you want to see your favorite niece become a psycho’s fucken pin cushion?” she said in a resentful and dismissive tone.
“Sorry mija!” the voice repeated in an empathetic way.
The trail was unfamiliar as running down the path revealed in rations at first and collectively a field maze of petrified trees that going down the path got darker as the glow of the orange night sky began to reveal further down the path as smokey and dense arid fog began to surround her clique San Antonian body.
“Leave it this dumb bitch to pick the typical path like the clique horror movie chick that gets killed in the end!” she said in the this is it tone. “Damn I should have had kids!”
“Idiot!” Uncle Mike voice said as he mimicked Napoleon Dynamite.
“Uncle Mike, really!” she said out loud in anger.
“Stay focused bitch. Remember the story I told you about when I was in the Marine Corp. Face the fear and don’t loose focus. You’re down this road for a reason,” he reassured her.
She began to focus and began to run towards the boulder that she would always see that she called the “Mountain Peak.” The boulder was one that she always wanted to climb but felt she didn’t have the upper body strength.
“I could be a pin cushion for Mr. Stabby, or I can climb this boulder.” she said her Dr. Phill impression.
“Start climbing bitch, he’s three yards away!” Uncle Mike said in alarm.
She attempted the first time and couldn’t get passed the first 3 feet as she slipped down the rocks, as her arm gave out in attempting to lift herself passed the fourth foot of the boulder. The second attempt didn’t get her past the first foot of the boulder. She looked back. He was one yard away.
She began to weep as she said to herself in defeat “I’m dying today.”
“Alessandra why are you quitting you stupid bitch! Climb! Use that adrenaline and start climbing like your life depended on it. Because it kind of now does!” Uncle Mikes voice said.
She looked back. three hundred meters! She focused and started climbing. She could hear the clinking of the blade that he used as he tried to stab her leg. The blade was two centimeters from stabbing her leg, which she felt the velocity of the blade as she lifted it up passed the first six feet off the boulder. She continued to climb as she heard Mr. Stabby slip down the boulder. She climbed faster and faster and not realizing it, she was 35 feet off the ground as she looked down seeing Mr. Stabby.
He was tall dark and like always, handsome. He had that enchanting five o; clock shadow that your typical British villain had with shaggy dark brown hair. He typically was Alessandra’s wet dream until he tried to murder a bitch. He was six foot two inches and chiseled like a Greek God. He was dressed in black cargo pants with a black distressed leather jacket that crossed the question “Did he get that at Marshalls?” His olive complexion was tanned to a golden caramel and his chiseled face in the normal world would have probably got him a modeling contract. Of course, Alessandra being raised by men and a feminist dual; of abuelas, she was prone to crotch watching every so often. And since he was her clique wet dream, she noticed before the attempted murderous attack that he was packing more than he perceived as he slipped the first few feet of the boulder.
“I guess the looks made up for the lack of brain cells cocksucker!” she said mockingly.
“Don’t get cocky girl” Uncle Mike sang in her head.
“I guess you didn’t realize that your jacket concealed armory is what’s holding you down pendejeo!” she said confidently.
He looked on the sides of the open jacket and took off the jacket revealing his chiseled biceps and marking of the organization she was fighting against. He took off the holsters that held the machete, the bow and arrow, and the diverse knife collection she didn’t realized he had. Strapped the strapped the thigh holster inserted his weapons of choice and holstered the harpoon like bow and arrow gun quicker than a single woman heading to Walgreens for Plan B after a one-night stand and began to start climbing
“Oh Shit!” she said in an alarming scream.
“See I told you pendeja!” Uncle Mike said scolding and followed with “Start climbing cause your life depends on it now.
She began to climb faster and with agility. She could hear him getting to the first peek of the boulder which she was closer to the top. As she began to climb, she reached a problem. To get to the final peak, the only thing that was stopping her from getting to it was the lack of equipment as thick vined rock plant was the only way that was going to get her to the top.
“You really want my ass dead don’t you, God?!” she yelled as she looked up at the cloudy half orange glowing sky in anger.
“Remember the weight distribution rules.” Uncle Mike reassured her in her head.
“I’m a gordita Uncle Mike that bitch won’t hold my ass!” she said sarcastically.
“It’s like the men you date, use the one-minute man technique!” he said affirmingly.
“My ass is going to fall to my death!” she said desperately.
“Have faith my girl. The odds have always been in your favor.” he confirmed.
She looked up at the rooted branch and in doubt she reached up as she lifted herself up and raised her body up and grabbed the last peek of the boulder as the branch rooted out the boulder.
“I did it!” she said proudly. “I fucken did it!” she screamed.
Mr. Stabby was on the peek that followed to climb up. He attempted to use the blade he packed and slipped as the titanium blade snapped into the rock. He attempted to look at other ways of getting on the rock which had no other way up than with the help of climbing equipment.
Alessandra looked down as she pulled out her cellphone to call 911. In the park, this was the only way cellphone service was attained. She called 9-1-1 and busy signal.
“Great, this is the fucken apocalypse.” she said.
“Might be.” Uncle Mike said. “At least your safe from that cocksucker.” he said.
“No fucken kidding!” she repeated back.
She heard a shriek coming down from the 10 feet below her. As her face turned frightened. She saw Mr. Stabby tear off the black wife beater and began seeing what looked like scaled spikes begin to piece form his back that just grew larger and larger every second. His body disengaged in the bloody mess that was his vessel and began to reveal his true form. A demonized serpent that began to grow from a 6-foot man to a forty-foot dragon that was now at eye level with Alessandra.
The beast was black and spotted with hairy dark brown spots that resembled warts. It had patches of fluffy hair that looked like the 90’s pen she used that was inspired by Clueless as a high school student. His teeth were jagged and looked like unit of hunting knifes, the cheap ones that were found at the dollar store. The yellow eyes had a green glowing iris, something that you would see if the Predator and the Aliens reproduced. The skin of the serpent was scaley and dry, like the clay roads she would drive through in El Paso, Texas at her previous job.
“I wasn’t expecting that!” Uncle Mike’s voice said shockingly.
“You always said the bigger they are, the harder they fall!” Alessandra said assumingly as she reached for the rock on the floor and aimed right for the eye of the beast.
The beast shrieked in agonizing pain as she impaled the boulder deep into the eye, where black blood began to ooze as the eye pultruded out.
“Not today Satan, you fucked with the wrong bitch today!” she said as she aimed for the second one.
Another agonizing screech by the beast as she deep until she felt the popping and heard the popping that sounded like the first kernel of a microwave popcorn bag.
“I didn’t teach you that one mija!” Uncle Mike’s voice said.
“Gamer theory 101, always aim for the eye of every humongous beast. It worked for Lara Croft, it had to work for me!” she reassured.
“Now what you deformed The Never-Ending Story Reject!” she screamed. “You think this shit was going to scare me, huh?!” she yelled again. “I hope you know I was always the weird kid and low key I felt this was going to one day happen. But never exactly like this you cocky fuck!” she said insultingly. As she began to aim between the eyes, which biology and anatomy always on point said is where every endoskeleton living being would have. She missed it by 3 inches as the beast cocked his head back vibrating it’s body like it was about to go into convulsions.
“What’s happening?” she asked Uncle Mike unsure.
“I don’t know cabrona, you’re the fucken expert!” he said derisively. What began to reveal was when Uncle Mike said in panic “Jump!”
The beast began to eject two other heads that began to eject itself from the left and right side of its neck.
Alessandra ran to the opposite side of the cliff and looked down at the potential areas she could land, the only thing that she found a bundled bunch of what looked like the only live trees in the area.
“Are you crazy Uncle Mike?” she said in a panicked yell.
“When I was in the military…” he began to say as Alessandra interrupted.
This is not a time for one of your tall tales!” she said firmly.
“The odds are in your favor!” he said.
As she was about to jump, she felt this stagnant spritz of humid air behind her. She immediately ran and jumped.
As she jumped rushing down the cliff, she saw the beast dart down as it followed her with faster velocity. As she closed her eyes, she heard the clicking of its jaws opening and ended up feeling the breath of the beast as she opened to look at the life around her and saw the teeth of the coming closer to her what was soon to be, dead body that ended as a snack for a Never Ending Story reject of an excuse of a dragon.