The Journey of the “Journey of an Unraveled Road

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Pre-journey was not an easy one at all. I ended up going through so much adversity before writing the book. I ended up getting evicted from an apartment complex that is now demolished and is being constructed into a shopping center that was mold infested that my ex-boyfriend come to find out put me in their on purpose as he did it so I could eventually go back to him. The eviction ended up being due to quote on quote “I don’t need any problems” as doing the research, ended up finding out that a child died due to breathing complications due to mold. I ended up having my car totaled during an account executive job that Sprint at the time wouldn’t replace, didn’t tell me I qualified for workers compensation as the accident occurred after getting off the phone after my boss told me “This job isn’t for everybody” after getting put in a new district due to false accusations of “fraudulent activity” by a ex-cowoker who didn’t like the fact I landed a 200 line account that she “gaslighted” me to get booted off my existing district. What started as “retaliation” ended up turning into sexual harassment from both my old district manager and my current regional manager that ended up having him “act” on the sexual harassment and turned into assault. Having not only one lawfirm take my money and not “disclose” that my case wasn’t eligible to be litigated and then leaving me high and dry while my other law firm that was handling my eviction took my money and ended up being MIA for the case that even after filing a fraud case with Fidelity said they wouldn’t help after many attempts to get a callback. Then finding out I had a terminal illness that I beat going through continued adversities that my family was facing both regarding discrimination and personal baggage that in my fight was turned into a bandwagon campaign that instilled fear to try to stop me from attempting to fight. Going through all that at once I was very close to being selfish and focusing on my comeup and only my comeup, turning my back on everyone and living the same life everyone lives. The fear of standing up for the right thing hoping that one day it would all change. But what I realized writing the book and telling the stories of others within mine, that we all have something we haven’t healed from. Which became my mission of helping people find the power within and embrace the life they were meant to live. Being the best versions of themselves to help make the change we all want to see. Funny thing about the chapter I closed, the journey is just beginning.

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The pandemic has revealed so many things that is wrong with our world today. Some of us just vent and complain thinking that there is nothing we can do to change it, but the funny thing is we are selling ourselves short with that ideology. As the power we have within ourselves is much greater than we imagine. Where the ripple effect begins in the Universe that our fight becomes someone else’s. One of the things that I feel is wrong is that we all want a sense of power, which in the wrong intent can turn a righteous act into another problem we see in the world. Part of the appeal is that we see a acceptance in that act and since survival in human nature is to need to belong, we find solace in that act being somewhat brainwashed in the process. Which in the end, stops us from the things we are meant to achieve. Which not even trying will never reveal if the purpose we have is greater than the one we grew accustomed to.

Why Do We Need Change

Change is needed more than ever I feel. With so many of the evils being revealed in the world, it’s hard to even trust our closes friend. In the process of self preservation we all have experienced a moment where someone threw us under the bus for selfish reasons. We can’t be mad at the person for doing this, because we have done it once ourselves. To take that act personally is to have a sense of entitlement, which if karma I now believe is a thing is why things never work out for us. Because we continue to engage in that behavior, not changing the habits to become better people. We continue to blame others and not take accountability of the things we have. But the truth is in order to change, we have to take baby steps, which is why illustrating the struggles and the steps I took is why I needed to take this journey. Which of course the criticism and the shame that was attempted slowly subsided. Because I began to prove myself that I was capable. I was stronger. I was really the bonafide badass my advertiser said I was. Which self doubt slowly faded. I began to be proud of the smallest accomplishments as progress is progress. It may not be big to someone else, but it was big to me because it’s something I never saw myself ever accomplishing. But seeing the bigger picture and seeing some of that person within me, it was all clear. The same stigmas they had of themselves was the same one I had once upon a time ago.

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One of the biggest milestones that occurred was on August 29, 2020. That I was beginning to trend as a self help blogger, writer, and author. It wasn’t any special secret or special formula I made. The only thing that played a part on this was consistency and courage of conviction. One of the biggest set backs I had way back when was the stigmatic question “What are people going to say about me” which learning taking accountability, accepting all my flaws, and knowing myself well enough has me saying “yeah I did that” followed my “I learned” and ending with “I had a hell of fun in the process” which is true when I wasn’t beating myself up. It introduced me to new people, new experiences, and new situations people face which made me correlate the issues at hand and pinpoint the culprit which is non other than “Social Norms.”

I hate to hear you talk about all women as if they were fine ladies instead of rational creatures. None of us want to be in calm waters all our lives.”

― Jane Austen, Persuasion

Jane Austen said it best when it comes to the stigmas of the gender roles women play. One of the funny insults I get all the time is “at least I am not single” which I replied as “you say it like its a bad thing” which in rebuttals back and forward has people blocking me and unfriending me on facebook, which in my mind I say “you did me a favor having to be polite and quiet on the pendejadas and mamadas you lie to yourself about” which it saves me the guilt of making someone feel bad about themselves. Which I quickly get over since they provoked it and probably are slandering me and trying to make people belief I am a crazy cold hearted bitch. Which I really can care less about, because truth is I know I am treating everyone equally, not making exceptions on my boundaries, and enabling someone’s bad behavior. Which if they really were smart about it, would of took it as constructive criticism instead of paying for lifestyle coaching sessions. Which that’s there pendejada not mine. But if you think about the social normal behaviors we do, it’s kind of a bit degrading if you ask me. Like why are we doing these stupid things for the sake of “fitting in.” Why do we value so much of what other people perceive of us? Why do we allow people to mistreat us? Which the book is what I hoped it would perceive instead of the “my life is better” because one day, your going to face a moment of degrading unfairness, where no matter my personal feeling toward you is more reason why I fight harder for everyone. As I say we are all someone’s stereotype.

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The Time Is Now

The pandemic has revealed where everyone has dropped the ball. We want to separate our favorite personas and enable bad behaviors but we don’t look at the organization that they represent. Where police forces get demonized for the actions of those bad apples and stereotype a whole force which shows signs of doing this in convenience. You can’t do that for the entire force as it’s the individuals that should be held accountable. We stereotype two much, which is why we need to be aware fo our risk perception and nip in the bud to prevent us from stereotyping those when it’s convenient and then feeling sorry for those we favor. It’s not right. It’s not fair. It’s discriminatory. Which we all have done, even me at one point. But the beauty about it is that we can change. I feel this is where it starts. As fears hold us back on too many great triumphs we are afraid to take. It’s your life. You do what you want, but at least I did my part to show you the other side of the spectrum. Because truth is, this is what we don’t change that holds us back to much. This is what deteriorates our own personal growth. Who knows, you might be a bonafide badass too. Maybe even badder than me. Which will have me reach out and pick your brain. Because at that moment, I will be able to learn from you too.

Published by Frieda Lopez at Frieda the Writer

Frieda López is the writer for Journey of an Unraveled Road who was born and raised in San Antonio, TX. Through her professional career in Customer Relations and Retail Management, she has utilized her experience and interactions with the behavioral patterns, which was used to start her personal journey with Journey of A Unraveled Road as her debut novel. She has completed philosophy, psychology, and theology courses at San Antonio College as well as creative writing courses. Frieda López has been a lifelong writer since 2nd grade. A survivor of childhood trauma, childhood abuse, and domestic violence, she wrote this piece, which started this book as her personal journey; works from home in San Antonio, TX.

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