The Beauty in Pain – A Double Edge Sword

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One of the amazing lessons that the journey has proven, that there is so much beauty in pain. I am a firm believer that pain is meant to be temporary, which only becomes a permanent infliction when we hold on to it. In the chapter of my book “Journey of an Unraveled Road” named Pain Turned Beauty to Production, I talked about how I channeled the pain and made it into a form of expression. From adolescence, writing songs and music that reflected the early pain I had, from making sculptures and even pieces of furniture. As many of us use creative outlets to express ourselves, when luck and karma act prematurely, end up having some the most amazing talents fall into a depression onset by so many factors. One being the cruelness of the little people that although unaware, have the power to make the biggest celebrity fall into a state of severe mental illness. Depression is one of the main mental epidemics that plague the world. The ugly truth is that many of those who need the help never get the help as the feelings and the emptiness they feel goes unjustifiably given as those who refuse to understand give the blanket statement of “you have no reason to feel the way you feel” which truth be told is the worst thing you can do in this mental state. Which in the bigger scheme of things makes you liable for the unjust help that the individual doesn’t get. In the catastrophic moment also makes you partially responsible for their demise in suicide.

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Depression is one of the main deterrents that lead to disability globally. Here are some of the common facts of depression prior to the COVID-19:

  • More than 264 million people suffer from depression worldwide. (World Health Organization, 2020)
  • Depression is the leading cause of disability in the world. (World Health Organization, 2020)
  • Neuropsychiatric disorders are the leading cause of disability in the U.S. with major depressive disorder being the most common. (National Institute of Mental Health, 2013)

COVID-19 has added more to this epidemic according to the CDC. Here are some of the common issues that have been identified:

  • Fear and worry about your own health and the health of your loved ones, your financial situation or job, or loss of support services you rely on.
  • Changes in sleep or eating patterns.
  • Difficulty sleeping or concentrating.
  • Worsening of chronic health problems.
  • Worsening of mental health conditions.
  • Increased use of tobacco, and/or alcohol and other substances.

Here is some articles that talk about the kinds of depression and what to look for:

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What is trauma?

Trauma is generally speaking a disturbance in every day normal life. The reality is that to the human brain, the things we least expect can be deemed as a traumatic event. From getting an injury to even a jail stay. The blanket statement that we get in a situation such as this is one of the following:

  • You’re being dramatic
  • You brought this upon yourself

Hypothetically in some situation it plays truth, however the lack of compassion is the common thing that most people don’t understand. We all play a vital part in this potential ripple, where the ripple that can be thrown into the world is either positive or negative. One of the theories I don’t see that gets recognized is a theory of cause and effect. Which the cause you contribute can lead a catastrophic effect. Here are examples of what is deemed traumatic effects.

  • death of family member, lover, friend, teacher, or pet
  • divorce
  • physical pain or injury (e.g. severe car accident)
  • serious illness
  • war
  • natural disasters
  • terrorism
  • moving to a new location
  • parental abandonment
  • witnessing a death
  • rape
  • domestic abuse
  • prison stay

How Do I Know If I’ve Experienced Trauma

In the “Journey of an Unraveled Road” I talked about the disservice I did myself in the chapter Pain turned Beauty into Production. One of the things that is common for us to do “thinking” we are resolving this trauma is keep ourselves busy. How many of us have done this and still felt like shit? THIS GIRL! Based on the list of traumatic situations, I have become the poster child of trauma. Let’s be real and honest for once. Truthfully I feel that I have handled myself pretty well. Don’t be shitty bitches. LOL. I mean to be transparent and open about this is one of the great signs that you are dealing with trauma well. It’s hard to explain it, but you get this peace and comfort within yourself. You’re quick to adapt to the ever changing world, get accustomed of getting out of your comfort zone and just have this desire to be their when people need. Now I don’t recommend this for everyone as you truly don’t know yet if your ready for all that because the cause and effect of your trouble can back fire. The first thing is identifying if you’re dealing with trauma and work towards healing in your own terms. Here are some of the symptoms you should look for.

  • irritability
  • sudden, dramatic mood changes
  • anxiety and nervousness
  • anger
  • denial
  • depression
  • flashbacks or repeated memories of the event
  • difficulty concentrating
  • altered sleeping or insomnia
  • changes in appetite
  • intense fear that the traumatic event will recur, particularly around anniversaries of the event (or when going back to the scene of the original event)
  • withdrawal and isolation from day-to-day activities
  • physical symptoms of stress, such as headaches and nausea
  • worsening of an existing medical condition

In trauma one of the disservices that you can give to anyone is giving all the answers to the test as this enables the act of deflecting so I included the link on helpful tips on how to start the process. If you want to see the results in and how they played out, check out my book.

When you come into power it’s one of the scariest and greatest things you can ever encounter. You do this by facing your fear. People tend to get embarrassed when the admit that they have experience traumatic events. One of the most common stigmas is that you are damaged when you experience trauma. Who ever came up with the ideology is a big insecure narcissistic idiot. Funny thing is that the book and my journey has coined a theme song in this journey by the followers I gain, which my journey is full of theme songs I had within this journey. In that last battle to gain my super power was Frank Sinatra’s “My Way.” I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was in my apartment scared as fuck, wondering what was I going to do. I gained a law firm, which in the end sucked major balls because they also used institutional racism against me and not telling me everything upfront until it was the show down. The two options I had was either play dead. When I was told my life expectancy was shorten, that was the day I said, it’s time to fuck shit up for the greater good. In the end the truth of the matter is no matter what anyone will say, yes it was my way. It is scary to deal with things you don’t know what to expect but it’s worth it. You’re worth it. To empower one’s self is a beautiful thing, because the truth of the matter is in that moment you become a Phoenix who rises out the ashes. And if that narcissistic jerk says otherwise simply say….

Your Gurl,

Harvard from the Hood

Published by Frieda Lopez at Frieda the Writer

Frieda López is the writer for Journey of an Unraveled Road who was born and raised in San Antonio, TX. Through her professional career in Customer Relations and Retail Management, she has utilized her experience and interactions with the behavioral patterns, which was used to start her personal journey with Journey of A Unraveled Road as her debut novel. She has completed philosophy, psychology, and theology courses at San Antonio College as well as creative writing courses. Frieda López has been a lifelong writer since 2nd grade. A survivor of childhood trauma, childhood abuse, and domestic violence, she wrote this piece, which started this book as her personal journey; works from home in San Antonio, TX.

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