Why Deflecting You’re Self Doubt Might Be Pushing You Towards The Edge
Can we be completely transparent for a moment and admit that we all have self doubt. Even as a lifestyle coach and self help author, I end up getting self doubt once in a while. One of the things that help me get through this is realizing that in the end in failure it’s a learning opportunity and can always make another attempt at it when I am good and ready. Self doubt is defined as lack of confidence in oneself and one’s abilities. In the world that we live in, the self doubt comes from all avenues including our homes, work, the people we are around, strangers, and even through social media. If you look closely, it’s a go to way of attack as an attempt of instilling that self doubt in us. However, we can’t take these things personally either. The reason being is that we all have something that we are dealing with. Those low blows have nothing to do with us, but a lot with the individuals. As those insults are attempted in the presence of deflection. To deflect something is to cause that thing to change direction by interposing something. This turns it off of its straight course in another direction, even back in the original direction it came from. According to TealSwan.com, deflection is a defense mechanism from hell that people use to evoke shame in someone. Here is the link to the the psychological science behind deflection and how to cope with it https://tealswan.com/resources/articles/deflection-the-coping-mechanism-from-hell. Which begs the theological question, is this an immediate sentence to hell? If so we are all fucked. Hey but the grace of this is that in human nature we are programed to make mistakes. I feel that as long as we make an effort to change, we should be alright.
Tyler Perry’s Madea is what encompasses self efficacy. She of course can be extreme, but Madea never falls into a self doubt trap. As a matter of fact, in the storyline that involves this vivacious and gangsta persona, she always provides moral lessons and self efficacy boosting pep talks. Regardless of what she does, she never puts anyone in harms way as she rides solo anytime she’s engaging in her pendejadas. Madea is one of my favorite characters in the fiction world. She’s funny, she’s witty, and she is very sure of herself. She’s off the wall and a little flamboyant, but you don’t have to tell as she already knows. As a matter of fact, she’s the type of persona that if insult her, she will show you why it was a mistake in this superficial world we live in. Would you try Madea in real life? I’d be that person that would be fist bumping her and defending her actions when someone plays victim and tries to make her look like the villain. If you ask me, if the person had mutual respect and avoided being so judgmental, we wouldn’t have a problem to begin with. Truth is, why would you even engage in the insulting game to begin with. The person is probably more emotional jacked up than she is.
The Dangers of Self Doubt
Like everything else, there are some dangers that occur when you allow self doubt to rear it’s ugly head. Take my advice or don’t but Ayodeji Onibalusi from Lifehack.org says that these are five things that self doubt will occur. Seeing my behavioral patterns from the past and re-evaluating the situations, he is absolutely right. (Ayodeji Onibalusi. 5 Unexpectected Dangers of Self Doubt. Lifehack.org. https://www.lifehack.org/387039/5-unexpected-dangers-self-doubt). One of the biggest things when I was in a moment of self doubt, i had a lot of creative block. However removing it, has me working on my fourth book that I am half way of finishing. Eliminating this helped me write The Rideshare Chronicles which will be out Mid-September.
- Self Doubt Weakens Your Self Will
- Self-Doubt Breeds Procrastination
- Opens you up to regrets and self pity
- Self-Doubt Kills Personal Growth
- Hinders Creativity
In The Rideshare Chronicles, Alessandra the protagonist deals with conflicted issues of self doubt. One of the beautiful things about this protagonist is the character growth that helps her not only find her self worth, but grow the super powers she was born with, which one of her human super power is the power of witty humor, strong self of self, and perseverance. Which we all have the capability of achieving, if we stop allowing others to effect our sense of self. There has been many nights before this journey that I had doubts of myself and it hindered so much personal growth. It made me fall for the traps, get in bad relationships, and surround myself with shady individuals that no longer are in my life. We all want to belong, but we should belong with those who also have a sense of self worth. Those who work towards making themselves will always push us out of our comfort zone. Not for underlying negative intentions, but because they want to see us grow. If they walk away, it’s because we are hindering their progress. Which in the end, we can’t feel bad for. But at the same time we have identify that they are selfless in intent and not selfish. After all why be around those focusing on the things that don’t matter and put value in the things they possess if they can’t put value in their own self worth.