How Depending On You Is The Most Liberating Thing You Can Ever Do
So there are many new things on the market that was made to help gain one’s self worth. Do you know how much I confused arrogance with confidence. A lot of times. Taking confidence as arrogance is the biggest mistakes we all do. Using the things we have earned and throwing it in someones face to make talk ourselves into believing I reference in the “Journey of an Unraveled Road” as humbled self worth as it’s the are of believing yourself. Little did I know I was referencing this with self efficacy.
So let’s just keep it 100% for a bit. How many times have we deflected in our lives the things people throw at us to boost up our accomplishments and self talk ourselves that we are on the right track.
Many of us have done that one or twice. This girl a lot. Because I was misinterpreting the whole self care thing. Because the misconception of self care is the act of selfishness. Alice Boyes P.h.D from Psychology Today says that these are the five mistakes we make in the act of self care . Check out the article https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/202001/5-things-people-get-wrong-about-self-care.
1. Self-care isn’t typically about treats or pampering.
2. Self-care isn’t about putting your own needs ahead of others.
3. Self-care isn’t a list of behaviors; what constitutes self-care depends on the situation.
4. Self-care is as much about your thinking as your behaviors.
5. Self-care isn’t just about doing solitary activities, it’s often social.
I will be the first to admit I was going about this self care the wrong way. Seeing others post on social media getting there mani and pedis with the hashtag #selfcare, I assumed the same shit you all did. Don’t lie. You did to, but self care is much more than pedis and manicures, it’s about finding the true you and learning how to love yourself flaws and alls, 100%. It’s not the “Keeping with the Kardashian’s when you should be keeping up with the bills” scenario either. Even they have more substance about them instead of what you see on the TV. Remember in the name of entertainment, anything goes. Have you ever been in the situation when you max out your credit card to get all these name brand high end stuff and still feel empty inside? Well that is what the misperception of what that truly is. As self care isn’t suppose to make you be dependent on things or people, it’s meant to help you become more dependent of yourself. Because when you begin to gain your independence in self efficacy, it’s the most liberating thing you can ever feel.
What To Expect Before Traveling To Self-Efficacy
So let’s prep you for this awesome and liberating world and talk about the things that we face. The worst enemy you will face in this journey, is yourself. Let’s be real, the things we think when we are not around others is the self doubt. The things we were told in the past and the things we haven’t reached yet are the hardest things to overcome in this feeling of greatness. I mean how many of us took things that were generally spoken about and we took it as a personal attack? Or when someone says something is missing or off and we immediately say “I didn’t do it?” 1000% guilty on that one too. And the immediate reactive response is that “guilty.” Well you can tell that Basic Bitch to “STFU” because the truth of the matter is that we are so use to defending ourselves from all those basics pointing the finger.
One of the biggest problems we face in society is this belief that by concealing what we feel as the “mean girls” in the world always will count on using shame that we voluntarily result to as self doubt. Which begins the process of us questioning our own worth which starts turning into this snowball effect of all these other things we been told all through our childhood. Am I right or are you talking yourself down to believe that I am trying to undermind you and do all these thing I have no intention on doing? You can stop right there because you are still in this toxic mindset which starts by showing how passive aggressiveness may be to blame for that which will be scheduled for tomorrow. These are the things you want to be aware of and do the opposite where breaking the assumptive-ness we all have had a one point of another is the key to assuring your individual growth. I will touch a little on the topic on Monday as the fiction drama I am currently finishing talks about how passive aggressiveness and assumption almost stopped Jacqueline Lopez in the first person narrative of accomplishing what ends up being a global organization that helps fight for every persons rights. Which takes place at her funeral service as a ghost, which she expresses why those mourning her death in guilt have no reason to feel that guilt. As the terminal illness she died from is not from their doing as she carried the weight of the world on her shoulder and dealt with this in secret that made her push harder for the things she still felt she needed to accomplish. Which many of us that faced a situation in dealing with a terminal illness automatically just give up thinking it’s over. Leaving them feeling empty and unaccomplished, which let’s be truthful can be achieved if we stay consistent. It also touches some morals that we in self preservation over look which is something even I have done.
The Path Toward Self Efficacy
There are many ways to gain self efficacy. It doesn’t require a purchase on some easy how to guide that might be out there. It starts by working with what you have. Positive Psychology and Mission.Org through Medium.com give some amazing ways. On the Medium.com site gives you a basis on how to maintain self efficacy which are 21 ways to do this which can be found here https://medium.com/the-mission/21-ways-to-boost-self-efficacy-achieve-your-goals-9a1ba28dc0cc. Here’s what Madhuleena Roy Chowdhury is the four things you should focus on first. Madhuleeena Roy Chowdhury. 4 Ways To Improve Self Efficacy. August, 5 2020. Postivepsychology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/3-ways-build-self-efficacy/). What I like about this article it gives you the break down of all the elements in gaining self efficacy.
1. Mastery Experiences
2. Vicarious Experiences
3. Modeling Experiences
4. Emotional and Physical Experiences
One of the things we have to realize is that life isn’t a competition. It’s not about the materialistic things we get out of it, which I mean it’s nice and all. But what happens when you lose it. The only thing that my designer bag did was assure that I had food on the table and my phone turned on when shit hit the fan. The shoes I also collected which my favorite that had me pay for some medical treatments were my Spiked Chistian Loubitans, which saved my behind and help me add a few years. Truth is like everything, it’s a temporary set back on the best life we deserve to live. During that experience in leaving behind the superficial, I found a totally different outlook on life and the cards that I get dealt every single time. Life is like poker sometimes. People will always act like their cards are the best card dealt, but if you become more intuitive, you can see the real picture behind the cards you don’t see. They might hype it up and act like they got you, but when you reveal your cards, you find out that you have the better hand. Where a humbled heart and beautiful soul will appeal not only to Lady Luck, but the Universe. And like Domino in Deadpool 2, luck can definitely be the greatest super power you can have. You earn that by being a nice human.