Our Degrading Behavior of Our Own Self Worth

“You Need To Calm Down” cover art, Taylor Swift, Drew Kirsch, Republic Récords

Being the degraded is the circle jerk is the worst self sabotage. With the feelings we partake that presents as the 7 deadly sins, always sets us up for failure. When guilt spins into doubt, we begin to question are actions, leading to thinking the things we did or said wasn’t the right thing, thus now having those who if in a rational mindset battled the demons that currently taunt them in the most recent events they allowed they when you reflect on the sequence of events. Leads to the first demons that inflicted the behavior. Where backtracking each attempt of unintended degrading that caused us to lose control, is the reason why our emotional outburst in the end is the reason why we demonize those who have our best interest at hand for being something we saw they poses, self worth. As being sure of one’s self humbly, will prove that when the guilt we deflect is our own for not taking the advice to gain something we don’t have, deflects the things that make us unhappy into the reasons why they aren’t happy. Because they obviously have a problem based on our own prejudice. That element of freedom they are so sure of, later on in life will prove that even when they admit they are flawed and still make mistakes, every day is a new day to begin anew. As a more wiser and improved version of the things we truly admire that we in our grief seems out of grasp. Proving that in one way or another, ironically enough; we are all connected. And that receptive to feedback could of been the making of a man hater, as what temporarily happened in mine, pointed that both men and women were capable of the things the new traveler experience already identifying it was on both sides.

The journey has made me embrace the many flavors like Meredith Brooks’ “Bitch” describes. Being a little bit of everything isn’t a bad thing. It’s required for our own survival. Now comfortable with knowing my personality, have to be sweet, salty, sour, and lethal at the right time, right place, and right moment. Which is why when pointed out one of the reasons David Getta sings about. One of the great and fulfilling journeys is when someone, who admires the quality you possess and actually shuts up and listens. Where the things that use to hinder my ability to wants to gain the courage to change, and regardless of the deflection that even when those crucify her for the same mistakes, gets the allí always needed to face the demon intentionally holding the bad behaviors she has committed that she’s already corrected. The result in that is having someone who no matter what is said about the them and no matter what’s deflected back reveals the things they wouldn’t admit to, finally admit the person they enabled to result to a lifetime of bad behavior, that in their attempt to self preserve their good parenting they did as a child are covering up the sins that their son committed on the relationship, now reflecting on their own actions because the hero that the pained person deems, showed no judgement and made them realize that their self preservation is the only thing that made them into the demons that they really are not. Now being reassured that in the whole scenario, no was the better person, everyone degraded each other, and during the conversation seeing her now finding the balance of her empowerment, me knowing she had this the whole time now only struggling and identifying the self conflict that knowing she’s a good person to making her be like those people who did her wrong. Now making her a close friend, a person in my next project as the others didn’t pan out or have the impact I needed, The Journey of Others on the Unraveled Road, gaining something no one has ever earned voluntarily, a mutual respect sharing the same standard as she transparently told me what she needed as the expectation I set based on what she needed. Avoiding the mistakes of hearing what I want to hear and telling me in destructive manner. Now teaching me things that I never took into consideration. And even if we take a few steps back in the progress we made, will always have those when in doubt and ready and reclaim their crown; without judgement, will still be there as with all things in the journey, we are all works in progress. When we reach the end of the journey, starts a new beautiful beginning on the life that we never imagined to attain in the beginning.

In Taylor Swifts “You Need to Calm Down” expresses everything in this journey you discover. On my way to start the hustle of Uber, before leaving got a thank you for the pizza I bought so she could relax with all the advantages she gained on her pre journey. She already showed enough gratitude but that showed she had it together and not guilting me the whole interaction to feel sorry for her at all, which in those who don’t do things to help themselves shows, there was a hidden intention. This chick was killing it which made me so fucken happy. I can’t wait to see what this powerful woman was capable of. I corrected her when she said she could write about her life so I can include it, but since she worth more than copying her story, that the time that would be invested is worth every moment. One of the things that Taylor quotes is one thing that holds absolutely truth “we figured you out” and it’s okay. Where the serpent in the story of Adam and Eve was a representation of temptation, which at one point in life played a role on because at one point played a role in, whether filling someone with doubt, grief, or no sign of never getting hope which after the journey brings truth to the lyric “snakes and stones never broke my bones. Which brings the truth of the lyrics of everything else. Causing intentional harm whether it be physical or emotional in rage or wrath, eliminating the gray area is now an action of hate. Which is severe case is now eliminating the social standard elements is a hate crime. And shaming the people both men and women who are killing it are a true threat. Because stepping on my gown won’t phase me, truth is you just need to calm down.

Today I learned that there is no formulated sequence on how to take this journey. Just because my way work, doesn’t mean it will work for you. That’s me playing it safe. The objective is to become and remain humbly happy and find your true self. Which is why The Journey of Others on the Unraveled is of the essence as the follow up, because real talk, the pressure to write a how to guide when others people lives are at your hands is really fucken hard, which my first attempt made me call myself out and say “I sound like a bitch who knows better” and literally laughed at myself and say “what a fucken hypocrite”. In The Foo Fighters learn to fly it talks about telling the angels that help is needed and a Devil might be the only way to come out of it. Hey we are no hero. If that’s what you need, do beau. It doesn’t make me judge you. But you ain’t dragging me into your pendejadas. A now copyrighted slogan in the works of being a catch phrase for a shirt is “I’m good with my own pendejadas” as it’s now a saying in my book with a paper trail to prove it. Hey if I fuck up it’s my fuck that I admit to. Ain’t nobody got time for others. The point I’m getting to is that it’s okay to need help. But of pride gets in the way makes you see the things that really aren’t real. The “what you need to do” turns into “what you should do” or “what I would do” which although this all the time can be determined by one thing, being humble. You are not humble if you have to make yourself seem important and the actions you are willing to prove to show you are talking the talk you say. It takes time. I’ve also fallen into the hands of people who mastered the art of deception and manipulation. It’s okay. We aren’t perfect, it’s a learning process. It doesn’t make you or I any better. It’s a learning experience. It’s okay to allow to people to fight for you. We aren’t strong 24/7. Hey I need someone to fight for me too when I’m dealing with shit and because of my flaws, assure that I don’t fall into the same trap. It’s not they think they know better. It’s because they genuinely care. As the second first of “Learn to Fly” it also says tell the angels I’m alright. Because saving our lives don’t mean we are weak. It shows that your stronger. It shows a humble mature. Which reflects without trying, the gratitude you automatically give. Because when you are truly show gratitude, the fake polite turns into appreciation, which when faced with an person who’s not genuine will give you the reaction that without knowing, the true intent of that gesture. Because the best thing I’ve been in life like many call different or a wild card is looked at a compliment. In a world where everyone is willing to sacrifice their own selfs for the sake of social or financial gain, the difference that those shown in all walks of life that perfected their journey is a wild card. Which now a published work as of tomorrow, can use the things they didn’t take into consideration that was adjusted based on my adversity, have a tool to improve their pursuit of improving and preserving the good people that they always been, avoid the gray areas that in the moment they were temporarily in my life, still struggled with as they also thought they knew better when I pointed out their flaws. And no matter what, when they earn their respect like I’m ready to earn theirs, will be unstoppable force they one day knew I would be as they saw a potential due to my distorted perception of the world and myself became the unstoppable force they wanted me to be. And because of them, I’m for forever grateful. As they will never show it, is emotional because I made my way back way home when I finally learned to fly.

Published by Frieda Lopez at Frieda the Writer

Frieda López is the writer for Journey of an Unraveled Road who was born and raised in San Antonio, TX. Through her professional career in Customer Relations and Retail Management, she has utilized her experience and interactions with the behavioral patterns, which was used to start her personal journey with Journey of A Unraveled Road as her debut novel. She has completed philosophy, psychology, and theology courses at San Antonio College as well as creative writing courses. Frieda López has been a lifelong writer since 2nd grade. A survivor of childhood trauma, childhood abuse, and domestic violence, she wrote this piece, which started this book as her personal journey; works from home in San Antonio, TX.

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