Not Today Misery, I Ran Out of Pendejadas for the Day

One of the most common mis-perception is that we have to be nice in today’s society. well if you ask me, it’s one thing to be polite, it’s another thing to stand up for yourself. Now I also have gotten a lot of kick back on this, especially when I get those trolls on social media. People will always say it’s not worth it, or why waist your time. Let me be straight up with you for a minute and tell you the big picture problem with not standing up for yourself. Since it’s social media, you have hundreds and sometimes even thousands of eyes watching these events unfold. You do yourself a disservice when you don’t stand up to your attacker because this says only one thing, you’re allowing yourself to be disrespected. If you don’t believe me, then why do people continue to think it’s okay to come at you with those comments. I asked myself many times why did I continue to get this kind of mistreatment. I always fell for misperceptions and never identified the red flags that were very obvious in many cases that I could of prevented from the beginning . Of course to each it’s own in their opinion. what I realized what I was perceiving was that I was big push over with potential daddy issues.

So if you read my book, you know that I was your Latin Carrie Bradshaw, in this pointless pursuit of finding my Mr. Bigg, Well in this Cinderella story, he wasn’t in the current picture. I realized that I needed to start by finding myself and knowing what I truly was capable of. I am glad that I took this first step because I realized something about myself. I found my super human power and my purpose. Knowing the old me, let me just be honest, I made excuses for my pendejadas. I never took accountability and always blamed someone for everything that happened. In the chapter in my book “The Entitlement of Revenge” i talk about the slippery slope of revenge from the ABC series titled “Revenge” that I almost took. The catch 22 of this is that I almost became a shitty and entitled person thinking it was okay to take matters into my own hands and not taking

accountability for the things that I had control of. Fast forward to today, I learned a lot and have grown a lot. One of the most important lessons I learned was playing my stereotype in presents of narcissistic tendencies. I am not going to say that all individuals are narcissist as that I am a firm believer that this is just a conditioned behavior we use to deflect getting our feelings hurt. Believe it or not it happens more than you think, where guys play coy and result to temper tantrums when they don’t get their way. And I am not going to put that all on my fellow brothers, I’ve seen girls do it as well.

One of the funniest things I have seen in social norms is when people play victim. It’s no surprise to put food on the table, I was also a Uber driver. I discovered the wonderful world of systematics on New Years Eve before the wake of the pandemic in the United States. I was already complete with the book and already gained my publishing house, Absolute Publishing but was delaying the book submission for a while. I’m all about being transparent, the truth was I was afraid of what people were going to perceive me as and come at me with. New Year’s Eve was one of the busiest nights for Uber Drivers and it the night was going pretty well, until this one woman who was obviously “keeping up with the Kardashians, when she really should be keeping up with her bills” which is how I made of fun of the ideology of systematics. I am not going to lie, I realized the difference in appreciation on rideshare drivers and how it was visibility different in Houston from San Antonio. The majority of the riders saw us drivers like their personal chauffeurs in San Antonio, where in Houston my clientele showed a lot more appreciation not only in tip, but in gesture where those making a stop to pick up lunch always resulted to having a snack mid shift as the customer base knew that we worked through without taking breaks. This cunt nozzle ended up already having an entitled attitude but the “look you illegal immigrant comment” made me pull to a safe spot and had me speak up for myself telling her “I am Mexican, Puerto Rican, Brazilian, and Cuban third generation you ignorant bigot. Good luck finding a ride to reach your destination since the wait time is 55 minutes for ride in this general area” which had her rebuttal “you can’t do that.” My response to her “I am an independent contractor hunny, so if you can’t show respect for me in my house, find another house that will tolerate that ugly attitude.” I didn’t end her ride and I parked because I knew what was going to happen. She was your typical person who tried to precieve she was important so she took out her other phone and looked on the app and made the face I was expecting. She knocked on the window which I rolled down with her saying “you’re right” which I replied “I don’t want to be right but you owe me an apology” which she did. The only condition that I had for her was as long as she was going to treat me fairly and not be a jerk I was happy to get her to her location. We talked while on the way on her destination, which she genuinely showed interest and admitted to some of the unfairness that I experience was relatable. She admitted this was deflective way of protecting herself as she was prone to getting her feelings hurt, which the advise I gave her was this “we all have a struggle, we all have feelings. Instead of being part of the problem stand up and be the solution.”

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on

One of the most disturbing things that has been a common situation is the fate that is the women who get mixed in bad situations. To each is own and do you in the end, however seeing these women fall to the demise of death or even missing is a heartbreaking situation to hear. Of course I am not going to demonize the situation and yes I know I will get kickback on this to, but it’s only one sided. Here is the reality of this, in psychology the theory of the Super Ego is a common complex that many individuals gain in a situation where they think they have reached a certain threshold of success. We all have experienced this Freud theory of personality by those who have surpass a level of success that we are currently in, resulting to snotty and just rude ass attitude. I hate to say this, but I am not going to take it for the total truth. In this scenario it can go both ways. Media is the main mastermind that paints the picture that we all perceive things to be. Depending on the opinion of the person in charge of creating the editorial feed that plays out determines how things are going to reported and received. I guess that is why you have social behavioral bloggers like myself that makes you see both sides of the coin. How many of you have been depicted as the bad guy when you really weren’t. This is what is called gaslighting people. Check out my blog on gaslighting so you can be a little more mindful and prevent this happening to you.

Be The Change

Gretta is one the little bad asses that pioneered a global change. I have to give the girl props, for being a young adult and to make the movement that she did is really inspiring. It made me ask myself “what the hell was I waiting for” when I finally decided to move forward with the publishing of the book in June. Hey I am not going to lie, there are some days that can be pretty tough. With the constant doubt, underminding, the “who do you think you are,” makes me wonder at times “why the hell am I am doing this anyway” as people can appear hopeless sometimes. Truth of the matter, I am not doing it for them, I am doing this for myself. I have proven myself wrong on so many things, starting with the message the book was going to portray. It proved me wrong in so many levels, it showed me how to master the one thing that subconsciously makes us greater individuals, holding ourselves accountable. Which is why I continue to be the change I want to see in the world. One of the things many people will try to convince me is “that I am being negative” which my response to that is “don’t confuse being real with being negative, as admitting that these problems exist in our common social norms is more empowering within ourselves that you think” which truth of the matter is, many people have opened their minds and their hearts to open up to a trauma that they experience in the unfairness and the cruelness that is social norms. The truth of the matter is that this is a personal decision that each one of us has to make on our own time. However being conscious of this and it potentially can happen puts you in a predicament where you can in the face of it, stand up for yourself and gain back the self respect someone attempts to steal from you under their nose. We all have attempted to fit it, which is why I feel so many of us have a personality disorder where we cannot be ourselves 100% of the time. What life has taught me is that in the end, it never matters.

Your gurl,

Harvard from Da Hood

Published by Frieda Lopez at Frieda the Writer

Frieda López is the writer for Journey of an Unraveled Road who was born and raised in San Antonio, TX. Through her professional career in Customer Relations and Retail Management, she has utilized her experience and interactions with the behavioral patterns, which was used to start her personal journey with Journey of A Unraveled Road as her debut novel. She has completed philosophy, psychology, and theology courses at San Antonio College as well as creative writing courses. Frieda López has been a lifelong writer since 2nd grade. A survivor of childhood trauma, childhood abuse, and domestic violence, she wrote this piece, which started this book as her personal journey; works from home in San Antonio, TX.

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