Just Wait, It Get’s Better – Reality of Depression

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Depression is one of the most common mental illness that plagues the world currently which exist in both teenager and adults. Statistically speaking,, about 20% of teens will suffer from depression (http://www.teendepression.org/stats/teenage-depression-statistics/) and 14.7 million adults in the United States currently suffer from depression which is about 6.7 percent of the U.S. population. Since the COVID-19 pandemic, about 169,000 cases have been reported since June 2020 (https://www.mdedge.com/psychiatry/article/226351/depression/staggering-increase-covid-linked-depression-anxiety). Depression is the biggest cause of suicide deaths where 14.5 percent of every 1000,000 people die due to suicide rates according to the CDC (https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/depression.htm). Real talk, two years ago, before my battle to get my self respect back in the battle with my previous management with Sprint on top of the ridicule and shame my maternal family threw at me, I almost would of been part of the statistic.

THE PROBLEM WITH THE FALSE PERCEPTION

Believe it or not, depression is a past symptom that my doctor assures that we don’t cross again. As of September 2019, I was taken of my anti-depressants and anxiety medication and going strong since then. Thinking back at the events, I feel stress is what began this feeling, as the constant robotic pursuit of striving for better and striving for more which was condidioned by the sales job and the constant threat of performance correction threats, I didn’t know how this from my work life and my personal life. I started realizing that I got caught up in the rat race of trying to be better than my counterparts, achieving more to feel better about the things I was lacking and the things I was still without. Ironically enough this wasn’t the first time I felt so helpless. Being an outcast in high school for who I was made me feel helpless that day I didn’t go forward with the darkest day of my adolescence. Which the day that I had a loaded pistol at my head during a visit from my best friend Mr. Campbell who came to visit me from San Antonio, TX when I was a Houstonite, the key emancipation that came into my head was why am I going to do this. In the end, just like high school this day won[‘t matter. I have a fighting sprit. They don’t matter, I have a bigger destiny. Like high school, as the job was just that, those trying to make up for high school, is just that. I’ll look back and realize, in the end it never mattered.

THE SELF IDENTITY COMPLEX THAT IS SOCIAL NORMS

How many of us have had that friend that is always trying to win one up on you. Or that Basic Bitch Becky that passive aggressively insults people smiling in your face and talks behind your back. Take my advise that I give in my book:

Stay in your lane Becky. I am not afraid to run your ass over.

Frieda Lopez – Journey of an Unraveled Road

Let’s be real, someone who works so hard to perceive as perfect and better, acts like a victim when you stand up to them is just a fake bitch point blank. If we want to get psychologically technical and call that bitch for what she really is, a manipulator. If that hoe starts lying about you, calling you crazy or trying to manipulate others to think you are someone that you’re not, that bitch is a gaslighter and is a real threat not only to you or to others, but to themselves As when that reality bubble pops, they will be going through there own little episode of depression. But to be a better person, we can’t take pleasure of their moment of grief. Truth is to be the better person, we have to have empathy. The truth is that poor soul was being lied to and was hiding the pain of the life they perceived was reality.

THE EVIL OF SELF-RIGHTOUS BIGOTRY

One of the biggest demographic that falls victim to this is the LGTB community. Being a biology major in my earlier college career, biology introduces you to the wonderful world that is asexual and intersexed creatures one of those being a seahorse. For someone to not look at humans as animals, they have an inferiority complex and are ignorant to science world. And if they live in the real world, we are full and live amongst science. At the same time I also had a passion I had a passion for philosophy which naturally got me on the road to human psychology and theology, so having a understanding of the three humanities made me realize the ugly truth, religion (a theology) was an enabler for the self righteous to commit sin. If we want to be technical, engages and enables the seven deadly sins. If you really want to be Godly, stop worrying about someone else’s life and evaluate your own. Truth is, the control you try to have on someone else is the insecurity of the lack of control you have of your own life. So STFU and mind your business.

THE TREVOR PROJECT

I was first introduced to this amazing charity by my LinkedIn connection Mathew Copeland. My admiration first started as he consistently showed fearless leadership, very supportive of his region, and just a delight to converse with via message. He took a picture of one of the pieces William Sonoma does to raise money for this project and show their support as a major corporation, so I had to support the cause as well. Doing my research, the Trevor Project was founded in 1998 by the film maker of Trevor, which also is a winner of a Academy Award for the short film titled “Trevor.” The Trevor Project is the leading crisis intervention for the LGTB community in the nation. Being a active part of the community, it brings me such joy and hope as many of my friends in the LGBT community has contemplated this in my hometown/city of San Antonio,TX. Here is the official quoted history of Trevor’s story (History of The Trevor Projecthttps://www.glbtrt.ala.org/reviews/trevor-the-story-that-inspired-the-trevor-project/).

In this novella for children and young adults, the author shares the story that inspired the Trevor Project. Lecesne uses his own experiences to tell the story of adolescent Trevor who seeks to express his true self without fear of repercussion. Yet he is frequently told he is gay and faces discrimination, bullying, ostracism, and disbelief from his family. Each time Trevor feels he is succeeding he is betrayed, ridiculed, or attacked by a person he thought was his friend and ally. Trevor’s suicide attempt causes him to find help and acceptance from his family and the friends who learn to accept him for who he is. The novella shares a heartbreaking story of a call for help and acceptance, a plea for change in attitudes. The afterword shares the birth and growth of the Trevor Project that would have changed Trevor’s life if it were available when he needed it. The “Resource Guide” in the back of the book can help readers get the assistance Trevor couldn’t even dream of seeking.” I couldn’t give this synopsis justice, so I copied it from the source.

IT DOES GET BETTER, TRUST ME

Take it from the girl that everyone said I wasn’t going to amount to anything my whole life. It does get better. I can’t relate to the LGBT community as I always got bullied because I stood up for the LGBT community. I was a girly tomboy with a bowl haircut in high school, of course I was going to get bullied. If things are not working out, change your routine. Find your power. Have hope. But don’t give up. It’s perfectly normal. In the words of my favorite country American Idol Winner Carrie Underwood, you can’t cry pretty. Let that toxic energy out. Grief it, get mad, but don’t give up on me. You’re too special to not see your true power. Things don’t always go how we want, but like my grandma always told me in spanish, God might choke you but never kill you. Of course God sounds like a jerk when he does this, but think about it like this, when you death is knocking at your door, you think twice about it. One of the things that made me realize this and made me stop thinking that pendejada was when I was told I was terminal and had less than a year. The expected date of my departure from this Earth was the end of April on 2020. The second reminder was when I got COVID and swear that I had a out of body experience (just wait I have stories of that account by other people). The truth is the one thing I realized is I was a little over exaggerative of this. We play God and destiny too much trying to force things to happen that we want, not changing our routine, stuck on the same thing over and over. Being a little too dependent on our emotional crutches to take away the pain. You know what I said when I was told I was going to die April 2020,

If I am going to die, I am going to go out with a bang. I am going to fuck shit up for the greater good.”

Frieda Lopez – Journey of an Unraveled Road

Reading that part in the book, I always tell myself, boy did you ever fuck shit up. Know that your not alone as if you don’t have a positive support, you have this bitch who is labeled a bonafide badass. Just wait your destined to be a badass too. I hope this eases a bit of the saddness you feel in a burning world, but I can guarantee you this, change it up, put your boxing gloves of life, and start practicing how to be brave. My wish for you, is that you become a bigger bonafide badass than I am. Until next time lovelies. Here is a song that always helped me get through those tough times and inspired that hope in me.

Your gurl,

Harvard from Da Hood

P.S. If no one told you today, I love you and I know you are destined for greatness too.