The Dangerous Act of Turning a Blind Eye

Photo by Retha Ferguson on

One of the biggest problems I see happening in our daily social norms is the act of turning a blind eye. One of the most heart breaking moments is when someone is in the midst of a traumatic event, the bystander effect is one of the most common phenomenons that is witness when trauma develops right before our eyes. This popularized concept was founded in 1964 in New York City by Bibb Latané and John Darley which took place when a young women was stabbed to death outside her apartment, which psychologist have seen this theory increase throughout the years in the ever evolving social norms. To this day it’s a consistent act that happens daily, where I have been a part of and have seen others take part in, which of course with the traumatic accounts that I have experience, automatically has me take action in. Here is the article about “The Bystander Effect” from Psychology Today.

Altruism at it’s Finest

Domestic violence is one of the biggest and most relevant traumatic event that is common within our social norms. The CDC reports that 1 in every 4 women and 1 in every 7 men will experience domestic violence. ( As it’s no big surprise that I have experienced this first hand (as I tell the tale of my own account) remember when those who stood up to the injustice in my account. It was after my ex ended up tried to intentionally made me jealous with another woman that ended up going south for him. As I was not going to be disrespected I left the club we were at and while a block from the club had him sucker punch me in the back of the head. It was the courage of a young man who helped me stand up for myself as he tried to get me away from the dangerous situation which unfortunately led me in ICU for a good week, losing more than my dignity that night. The great deed that the young man did in the end game me the leverage I needed to in the end break away from the situation permanently and continued throughout my lifetime get stronger and more diligent in getting out of a bad relationship, which most recently; break away from a relationship with a narcissist. The young man may never know what he did that night, but he also contributed to this babe in becoming the bonafide badass that she is now deemed today.

Photo by Noelle Otto on

Why Should I Not Turn a Blind Eye

One of the things that we all ask ourselves is “why change never happens” which simply is due to the act of turning a blind eye. God or the Universe forbid us having ourselves in a situation like this and not get the help that we should naturally get. One of the biggest and most common movements is our #SaveOurChildren movement that has been a huge problem for the longest time. The cases of child molestation cases have risen and many of these children get silenced due to the act that families enable, but the alarming thing that it’s not a issue regarding child molestation cases, child abduction cases is also rising in our era. Here are my thoughts on how we make #SaveOurChildren a successful one.

The Time Is Now

Now I know we all have busy schedules but it only takes a minute to save a life. Empathy is key to aid the ability to stop turning a blind eye. We must put ourselves in those shoes and think for a moment. What if it was us? What if it was one of our family members? What if it was one of our children? One of the theories that I talk about in “Journey of an Unraveled Road” is that we make ourselves targets by the perceptions we attempt to preserve. Insecurity can be caught by the stealthy of predators, by the way we treat others and by the things we value. Especially in a pandemic, the cases of metal illness has risen due to not coping with a traumatic event in a healthy manner. Here is the rise of mental cases since COVID-19.

When to Get Help

We all need help and there is no shame in needing help. If you or someone you know might be concerned if this is happening to you, here are some things to look out for:

Emotional symptoms of traumatic stress include:

Shock and disbelief. You have a hard time accepting the reality of what happened, or feel numb and disconnected from your feelings.

Fear. You worry that the same thing will happen again, or that you’ll lose control or break down.

Sadness or grief, especially if people you know died or suffered life-altering consequences.

Helplessness. The sudden, unpredictable nature of violent crime, accidents, pandemics, or natural disasters can leave you feeling vulnerable and helpless, and even trigger anxiety or depression.

Guilt that you survived when others died, or feeling that you could have done more to help.

Anger. You may be angry at God, governments, or others you feel are responsible, or be prone to emotional outbursts.

Shame, especially over feelings or fears that you can’t control.

Relief. You may feel relieved that the worst is over, that you weren’t as badly affected as others, or even hopeful that your life will return to normal.

The article is available so you can see how to rationalize with these feelings: h

No one deserves to suffer through this alone. We all have something and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I hope this helps any of you all and expresses why a blind eye is one thing we need to omit if we want change. What are your thoughts? Feel free to message me or comment. Like always take care and here is a song that if you need that bit of inspiration, always remember that you to can be someone’s hero.

Until next time all!

Your gurl,

Harvard From da Hood

Published by Frieda Lopez at Frieda the Writer

Frieda Lopez is a Texas Native, born in the heart of San Antonio's West Side Community. Frieda attended Lanier High School and primarily attended Memorial High School where she graduated with the class of 2001. Raised in a blended family dynamic, Ms. Lopez gained her noble character from the women she admired and loved the most, her grandmothers. Frieda attended Alamo Community College where she majored in Liberal Arts primarily studying on biology, sociology, philosophy, psychology, and creative writing and shortly attended University of Incarnate Word. She gained a MBA from AIU and has actively participated in local fashion shows until she moved to Houston returning back August 2019. She began her career in healthcare, where she gained the skill of being able to not only resolve conflicts but reach out and engage in the community through her time serving as health care relations customer care and outreach representative. After being let go from her employer which she last served as a Customer Relations Representative for DentaQuest, she began her journey in retail where she came part of the leadership team a month of working as a part time representative for MarketSource and build a relationship with her local Target team. She later served five years with Amtel T-Mobile as a Store Manger after moving to Houston to pursue a management position with unfortunately ended in adversity which opened the opportunity of writing her first book "Journey of an Unraveled Road" will be releasing her second book a fiction based series titled "The Rideshare Chronicles" with the first book to the installment titled "Destination Destiny."

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