David Getta’s song “Titanium” is the song that was the power to begin my metamorphosis of rising out of the ashes. The lyric “I’m bulletproof nothing to lose. Fire away” is what made me emotionally prepare for what was about to happen. “You shoot me down, but I get up. I am titanium” which made me realize I was starting to rise above the ashes. This has afforded many compliments saying I they needed a sign deeming me in one ride the Angel of Mercy. She also said I was the poster child of the quote that deserves a fist bump saying “Be the girl that when your foot hits the floor, the devil says: Oh shit she’s awake.” But during my morning commute, I saw a marque road sign that said “Thank You Essential Workers. There’s Your Sign” proving that we all want a sign but we take them for granted, as the consensus of all the essential workers that enter my ride share saying that everyday people have been acting shitty to them and that post quarantine hasn’t change anyone’s behavior but be more shittier than they use to. Asking myself, what is it gonna take for people to change their ways, a zombie apocalypse?
One thing I had to do first was save myself as Ed Sheeran expresses in his song “Save Myself” which the lyric that made me emotional to this day now filled with a bittersweet happiness remembering the grief I was stricken with when disappointment set in. Post journey it’s made me be able to speak up, but for others along the way., as today’s example takes us to Firestone in Balcones Heights. The only offense what seems like a new employee committed was being disrespectful of my time and the young lady in lines time. Where he went outside after completing the order and who seemed like the boss being disrespectful of his. Trying to get back on the road to get the rush hour my initial response saying “thanks for respecting my time” being nervous that the appointment I had was not entered correctly. Reassuring him it’s not his fault, and sorry for the rudeness as the young woman behind me was probably trying to be somewhere to. Girl on fire came from my injustice at work when someone who has seen this happen on her years of service with the company, which she warned what was about to happen and in the end said, I was doing a noble thing and an angel. Let’s not get it twisted all, I ain’t no angel. I am just an everyday person tired of seeing people be shitty to others asking myself why isn’t there any change.
Rising above the ashes started with me first, working on perfecting my boundaries and perfecting enforcing my boundaries. Yes, you lose people along the way, but how the hell you gonna help someone else if you you can’t help yourself, love yourself, forgive yourself, humble yourself…the list goes on and on this. Now like use to, are a hypocrite. The truth is no one knows themselves more than yourself. Rising out of the ashes doesn’t mean holding on to your past life or the materialist things you accrued along the way. People always say I am bitter and unhappy well they can go fuck themselves because truth is that deflection would be nothing but celebrating my wins instead of trying to fix me. I fixed myself with the help along others along the way. My publisher who is more like family in my journey called me out the first day she approached me with my opportunity of being published which we conversed at the end of the day. She passed on the wisdom my now late grandmother her mom said to her “When your at your darkest moment, it’s time to reinvent yourself. This helps you find your invincibility and no matter if they beat you down like a water, as you know you can take more than you can take more than you ever dreamed as Kelly Clarkson says in “Invincible”. Once you find yourself through the wreckage you have self reflect and see if this is the person you want to be.” And it’s absolute truth, as in my darkest moment afraid and overwhelmed with the feeling of being alone, she helped this woman when no one else could help me find myself, the Universe providing, gave me my dear friend and publisher. Sharing the same words that she was shared in her own journey, which now is the beginning of what is going to be “The Journey of Other’s On The Unraveled Road, helping many in the short time I have with them find faith. Because as the legend of the Phoenix, with all it’s scars and flaws, ended becoming a mystical creature that we have no business trying to understand. Instead of finding the answers or the logic behind it, we have to just trust our instinct and intuition. Because when you finally find the fire deep inside you, you sometimes have to say fuck and like Ellie Goulding says in “Burn” just throw your hands in the air and say “We’re gonna let it burn. For those facing adversity remember this “I’m a survivor, I’m not gonna go give up. I will survive. Keep on surviving.”