One of the many pop cultural phenomenons that braced us with the creative perception of the extremities that is capitalism is The Purge. Although the things don’t hold true to the idealism that the creative genius behind these story lines as the murders and the crimes that are freely committed however signs of this phenomenon is not far from the truth. As those chasing the American Dream and feel that they have a one up against those they see as worthless are without a doubt degraded to the bottom of the barrel through acts of deception and sin that isn’t far from the ultimate sin of killing someone. But in the same hypothetical theme, the murder that we become a part of isn’t one that we see immediately. It’s a slow and painful one those who fall victim to without the survival skills to get out of it still in the eyes of God would ultimately be deemed as such. Where maybe in the article listed below, may be the indicator why this extreme capitalist mentality is not far from reality.
One of the things that has come to light within this pandemic is the quickness that is sacrificing the wellbeing of those less fortunate. The commercial mentality that is donating all comes from the mentality of being condemned to a state of hell. With many of those individuals in my personal life saying “I did my good deed for the day” which in the end ranges from giving 2.00 dollars or literally lying in someones face, which those who say “how horrible” better check themselves because passive agressiveness and the thought that hurting someone’s feelings is bad is putting those individuals at risk in their misperceptions of themselves having them doing some ridiculous and degrading things. Which makes anyone who does this just as guilty. One of the things that this presidency has made to light is the narcissism that is those faced with a truth that condradicts what becomes a blind perception. Which many of us in this current time fall into becoming. Where the more these lies made truth start to affect each and every one of little by little. Which you have every right to disagree, but always know you will have this erratic view that you see now that I hope one day never becomes your truth as the faith of international students start having a negative perception of what the USA is slowly but surely becoming a perception of false hope and impeccable doom. Where many of us who lie to ourselves have been used more than once for the self gratification of someone’s selfish motive. Where the things we are told that never become truth is the denial we tell ourselves no matter how a little bit of us dies in the inside is the one thing we stay content with.
One of the misperceptions that is the American Dream that many foreigners end up pursuing of a happy and fair life. However, that is a misperceptions all on it’s own. As one of the things that I realize gaining a strong international audience which are countries that see my blogging as a “you made it” that is backed up by the purchase of “Journey of an Unraveled Road” which compels me more so as the “Journey of Other’s on an Unraveled Road” to add more stories that origins come from an immigrant perception as many of the things they become vulnerable to are the selfish motives that those who don’t have a pot to piss in and are scummier than the scum of the earth “that take advantage of vulnerable situations.” One of the many unfortunate circumstances is the sexual assault and the rape that occurs to both men and women. Threatened by the threat of “deportation” keep them from gaining the justice and the assistance they need to break free from the chains of an “oppressed oppressor” as in the same context the “misery love company” pray on the less fortunate and the misguided views of “hope.” Which the article below gives the reason why or why not it’s a good time to “rewatch” The Purge. It starts making you think maybe we are already in the era that the one’s perceived are one “oppressive intention” away.
The truth is a hard pill for anyone to swallow. It’s what makes us guilty but the truth is the beauty like I stay true by is that we all have a right to redeem ourselves. One of the things that I did which by all means will be seen as a sign of weakness to others and the wrong thing is the person who makes it a point to insult me and shame me via text with derogatory pictures and messages is one that most people wouldn’t do is when he sent the 5th message that reads “hello ugly fat bitch” I replied “is everything okay with you” which responded with an hour of silence. When the rebuttal also derogatory saying “oh you’re a weak fat ugly bitch” replied back “seriously are you okay” and that’s when the ugly truth came to light. That the degrading and horrible resentment from the texts were that he was scared and alone. That he tested positive for COVID-19 and that everyone who he swore cared about him all abandoned him. That he getting sicker as the days past and with no help or assisted from authorities as he didn’t have insurance. That in light of that he also tested positive for
HIV/Aids that his viral load already diagnosed him as a full blown AIDS patient that now with COVID-19 had no hope for survival. That the rage came from drug use that he never use to engage in and that in his fear hated the world, especially me as the resilience he admired was the thing he wish he had. Knowing that I was also in no position to help him, knew that asking for help was something he wouldn’t get financially but that the bridges he burnt wouldn’t even afford him the compassion that he believed would not be given. Because all he wanted was someone to vent to and because the ugliness from pride that was conditioned by his arrogant and wealthy family is all he knew to be true in protecting his emotional well-being from an already inflicted pain that his family induced due t many things that honestly isn’t my business to conclude. His perceptions come from a misguided perception that he speculates as well. The only thing I know which I was raised with the value that you don’t turn your back on your family.
When they said life was not easy, they weren’t fucken kidding. And that was just with the determinable variables that we all were use to. Then COVID-19 came around. Which just fucked us all over in the ass with no fucken lube at that. Which is where my obnoxious humor comes in. The one quality that I can admit is positive is the way I make people smile in the mist of tragedy. Because that was all I could do in the darkest days of impeccable doom. Both my grandma’s always told me one thing “you can’t handle what God doesn’t throw at you” and they were right. Another thing that they always said as well is “I had a light to see the good in the worst of things” which maybe I just had to as this is what helped me fight through. And even though it didn’t always repair things immediately, it always was a way to make sure that the instant fixes become bandaids that never lasted, the consistent relief becomes the cure. Which is ultimately why if I even make it alive after the last “feeling sorry for myself” people have already deemed truth (oh brother) is why being a psychiatrist is what is my calling and until then a self-help author. It’s not about whether my pain is painful than yours. It’s the selfless act of helping you get through it in the end.
Lana Del Rey is one of my favorite artist of the millennia. Her captivating voice which reminds me of a “siren song” (Lana that would be a great title for a next song” where her elements of classic vocal technique mixed with the modern instrumental medley unite to make her unique and originality that is Lana Del Rey. One of the songs that I became very fond of is Lust for Life, where unless your in love or in a positive spirits has you in tune with this romantic song. But ironically I was fascinated by this song at my most darkest moments. As “Cause we are the masters of our own fate. We are the captains of our own souls. There’s no way for us to come back” is the contradiction to what I believed was the arrogance that I assumed was my life as I felt I had no control, but then it made me realize that no matter how dark it is, if there was no turning back might as well fuck shit up. The truth that I ended up gaining as truth is “They say only the good die young. That just aint right” because the good always die young. Some because of unfortunate circumstance and some by the hands of man. Where everyone pointing the fingers at who is responsible for the death of who I saw to be a Hollywood legend. But the truth is the perceptions that result from the tragedy are the ones who time after time showed a false consistency that the dangers that nature were capable just didn’t happen in a mainstream way that took the life of one main inspiration when those told me “who the hell do you think you are” lighted up my small Houston, TX living room with her rendition of “Don’t Rain on My Parade” which was the origin song to the journey I never expected, which was writing. Which Lea Michelle who also did an outstanding performance during my binge watch of Glee during my “why the fuck am I living for” playing the smallest violin moment, but the fiery, confident, and original twist which was always the persona of Santana Lopez made me say “I’m gonna fuck shit up this time” moment. Which “Before He Cheats” “Make You Feel My Love” and Glee’s “Don’t Rain on My Parade” became my audition songs that got to me to final audition non recorded round of American Idol Fall 2019 when also told I only had a year to live.
One of the most tragic deaths in Hollywood is the one of Naya Rivera. I dedicate her passing with a message that reads: As a writer Naya Rivera gave me courage to write about the ugly truth not only #Latinos face but the #biracial & #lgbtq🌈community. In #Glee we see the #adversity to be #LBGTQ but also the #genderrole faced. Fly in heaven angel. #ripnayarivera. Which her portrayal of Santana Lopez is the reason that writing about the ugly truth was most important to me when “shit” hit the fan. Her boldness that is present in both her character and her real life persona was that she was bold and powerful. Which writing about the ugly truth is that saying the ugly truth is “bold and powerful” and at the same time beautiful as Naya Rivera herself was. The radiance in which is this type of entity is by far one of the most amazing and incredible things one could ever experience. And although for a short time we were able to see this light up our televisions on FOX on the amazing and most true to tale stories about the misfits called “Glee.” Which I never would of thought that Naya would be first to go as the terminal status a year ago was something that I never would of imagined in my following of Naya, would occur in such a traumatic moment that not only her child witnessed in real time, but the world would feel in a already tragic time of COVID. RIP Naya. My writing will always and forever exciting the power and beatiful force that you blessed us with in your performing arts. RIP my latin powerful force and radiant sister from another mister. I’ll meet you at the finish line.
And those close to her she isn’t far from reach as she will always be close in spirit and in heart. Her legacy will always remain and the beauty that encompass must be passed with the every kindness, gratitude, and compassion that she herself also held in her physical being that will always be forever and always magnificent.