The Unknown Acquaintance of Systematic Racism – Hello S. Racism my name is I’m Gonna Fuck Shit Up Unknowingly

Real talk, I had no clue what i was getting myself into in this writing journey. Truth of the matter was that I was done turning my head, I was done being undermined, and I was done letting people purposely use me for their advantage. Which the chameleon survival instinct worked in my favor in this as playing the dumb, airheaded, naive, clueless, and insecure person who had something to prove because she came from the hood all stems from the act of systematic racism. Like the racism that we still don’t want to admit even though it happens to this very day starts with overt racism which is a racism made by an individual, covert racism is passive aggressive intention follow an excuse based on ignorant mindset where the assumptions that draw the conclusion of the individual is the reason why they aren’t treated like equals, institutional racism which inspired by systematic racism is the act of unfair within an institution based on the same type of assumption and standard, systematic is unfair treatment based on one’s net worth or value based on background, association, and financial gain based on the perception that society deems as success, and one that still with undeterminable variables finds us in our new era with COVID death count rising with something referred to as epistemic racism, which the gray area in epistemic justice is that it’s only defined through the number of individuals based on personal circumstance deem as justifiable, which the only information or definition of this new phonemenon is the thesis abstracts submitted by those who (and congratulations by the way) successfully completed the graduate program which students (another systematic discriminated demographic) kept their integrity intact and have not been influenced by those who deem them unworthy through convert racism that to get in they decide the easiest thing to do is fit in. Where the domino effect turn circle jerk turn ripple effect theory as vulgar as it sounds, shows relevance in not only the book I wrote which those who still a critique need to stay in their lane, shut the fuck, listen, and

get it together by focusing on what’s happening to them. Where if you have a house and 401k which only middle-class baby boomers have or had the luxury if COVID didn’t exhaust their savings and those born into wealth if not able to attain it, can cause a blind way of making even settling for the life that you are forced to live. As the bridges you burned and the disrespect you demanded by those who served you is now the respect you won’t even get from them. Because like so many who bet on never being there, due to a unexpected pandemic are now in that same boat. Where the entitlement they have never goes aways, has them getting the help from those they looked down on and getting thrown on the street. Since we now live in a “I’m offended, change your mind” lets give you a “participation ribbon” has eliminated the pride in the things that prove our character, crutching on the things that gain popularity which if talent isn’t in your DNA and have beauty that diminishes not only biologically, but what is trending in society. Where those that look like Barbie in a world where guys now want to be a Ken doll, now after reading in ill intent to belittle me, are wondering whether or not this ideology is true after the track record of individuals you burnt to get a taste of luxury, when the people deemed unattractive unworthy as they bust there ass just to make a living and regardless if they feud within another before hitting harder times than before, legitimately and sincerely perceive happy. As the only thing you questioned the jealousy you developed before you convinced yourself it was due to your materialistic gain have two things that are against you in this time table.As this inferiority they have by belittling me is just the decoy needed where if at any given time you fail to maintain the lifestyle and the perception you radiate, this inferiority fantasy of yours will be popped by those who know better and have no intention to do right by. Because in your desperation of attempting to fit in, you just become a number like all of us become.


Is beauty going to be re-defined as the majority being deemed as non-essential going to be conventionally changed to fit those who have power greater than you as “trendy” as the destructed jeans and the high water pants my dad couldn’t afford at one time had me the laughing stock of society?

In a time of desperation where employers are being more picky about the real qualifications, the things they have a proven track record for, and as now the people you brown nosed to either are out of a job, in the hot seat for the things they now noticed when the world stopped the liability they truly became in cutting positions, or have now deemed you in the lies they told you that you believed to be truth, now see you as a threat, liability, or just simply see no return in the investment they make in your market value?


Where if forced to be in the same boat that I was, without anyone paving the wave of equality as many others attempted but unsuccessfully have not done may at least have helped with just a small factor of that solution. Attempt to shed light to the community she originated from. Where being part of the West Side of San Antonio was the place for sketchy acts; now as driving finding it in the more upscale places where those who underestimate intelligence assume they are being stealthy. And where the line that was told by someone to put a value on me and in their wounded pride through my rejection said “you stupid pathetic and poor ugly bitch, you’ll always be poor and unworthy” which the protagonist in the book almost to it’s completion says a punch line that says “well guess what asshole, I am that stupid, pathetic, poor ugly bitch which in your failure, am now the stupid pathetic poor and ugly priceless bitch who earned her worth.

Like many things I put my own flair to the a serious topic. It’s easier to accept that this is reality. I know some of you all who saw this before I did where like “is this bitch on something” and some of you all who read the book and saw this probably was like “poor baby doesn’t even know what she’s fighting for these days” which don’t take this personally when I say this but “you asshole” as if told this before, we could of stopped the circle jerk part of my theory in the domino effect, turn circle jerk, turn ripple ideology so we could talk what makes you think your currently being systematically discriminated and when did it start so we can in the best way we can tackle the issue that it won’t jeopardize your livelihood and your wellbeing as not agreeing me doesn’t stop me from helping you, but wants to fight harder, because the cultural zombification that I talked in the doomed gloom post everyone who emailed me ridiculed is the reason why we are in this mess to begin with. Because as the definition which is found below, come from a cultural and economic bias and segregation that has those not affected only be concerned with it if it begins to affect them. That rule only now applies if you have a tax bracket that if you have no way to influence those in that bracket is only 1% of that population. Where playing victim and having people sorry for you deem you to be weak and helpless, those taking jabs to insult and belittle are attempting to protect themselves emotionally with the things they lie to themselves as their inferiority excluded them from the rest of the minority regardless if what they over glorify is what fits that person at higher rankings motive, and now leaving those who also make the attempt to gain this pandora box of unknown perception someone has that comes along that still with nothing identifies things how they are, doesn’t take sides, and to human nature allows those to make their personal judgments about them while just in a simplistic form of confidence where they are absolutely comfortable with themselves, denies the invites and the empty promises to finish their homework, take personal time, or prefer to write this blog as the only chance to have a opportunity is another undeterminable variable that living this racism her whole life as she never once denied her neighborhood, ends up being a movement unknowingly fighting for. Where the treatment now publicly know was not the normal discrimination that her lawyers deemed as not worth the investment to litigate. That because I have amazing and honest friends, from the legal team, which she will still be anonymous as she already reached out and said “bitch, hello. I wondered when you were going to have this ah ha moment” that now based on the information attained and the reasoning as to why they chose not to fight it may be deemed illegal in our new era, which in all honesty it’s not worth it. Because you know the greatest thing about this whole situation. Is that unintentionally and not expected, I just made a point that not many of people have legitimate insight as 1. those who came up never look back or acknowledge their origin in systematic oppression since my social media following is slim to none 2. those who fall back into the social demographic fight their way back out having resentment and denial becoming some of the biggest narcissist once their inferiority brings them back to earth, still never getting a honest perception as the “victimized mentality” that comes with I “don’t deserve this” says “no you didn’t as no one deserves this, but you let it happen anyway so suck it up.” Has those individuals who if they are still keeping tabs to see if I come up or see where I fall have one thing to say: “Look ma, I made it. I didn’t become a social stereotype of the modern day era of conformity” which even prouder to be part of everything that encompasses in social norms as unacceptable living, doesn’t have me in my entitlement use careers that some advertise things like “Get paid while doing Gods work” or “save a life and get financial compensation” still has me doing the right thing with no expectation than to help preserve what little hope is left in that individual and not the person that will not lift a finger unless if it satisfy a selfish intent disappointed and upset when no one steps up to do the right thing, rolls over and plays dead. Because the ugly truth is that this is something that will forever in humanity be an issue unless you stand up for yourself, establish your boundaries, and show those who assume you don’t deserve their respect, is the reality check that if they under mind you again, will become the worst mistake they made. As the racism they act upon isn’t just systematic it becomes the crutch they use to legally disrespect you. As the things they really want to say to insult you come from covert racism, which in turn makes them regardless if the same biologically or not, the way they fit in all in the sake of seeking acceptance from those who don’t want them there to begin with for whatever superficial and petty reasoning which in turn (the circle jerk) has someone else doing the same thing to them as well.


So for those who also “called me a racist and called me naive” the tables are officially turned as their is additional issues when we discriminate within not only our own social and biological demographic internal segregation such as colorism and internalize racism which then gains a resentment towards their own cultural class has everyone desperate to get in to fit in. Which if I was that gullible, not hard headed, not unrealistic, naive, and stupid would of been the poster child to that statistic. Where those who purposely belittled me may not be trusted but still have a right to gain justice. When clouded with insecurity and false perception of how the world truly is, you gain fear by the things that start in your small pond. When you step out of the small pond and go into a bigger pond with bigger fish you have to adapt and learn how to find your way as the pond isn’t just a glass bowl, it’s a four sided aquarium. And once thrown into open water where anything goes for the sake of survival, if you don’t find your heard, your school, or your pod that you still don’t know if your a fish, a shark, whale, or dolphin don’t get pulled in as with manipulated perception cannot identify whether the group your in has your best interest at hand or if your just a decoy or resources when the dangers you begin to identify are the one’s you didn’t prepare for become the weakest link that for whatever purpose you became was the reason those around you. Or you realize that whatever it is you can’t’ explain, you can’t identify with the group you gain acceptance to. Where things don’t match up or show any correlation but can’t understand why you can’t see things the way a shark, a whale, a fish, or a dolphin sees as you realize that the pond you were in only held you back from some of the abilities that you were made to believe didn’t exist in your pond. That in the end you were actually a seal, a turtle, or a penguin although all prey and the seal being the most strongest of them all were not made to be that. And if your lucky enough and with not only time on your side, but the universe as the life you lived seeing you have always been and still filled with virtue, integrity, selflessness, and for the greater good as the sacrifices you made to assure that no matter how it was perceived, you did continued to do the right thing by letting those live their life, letting them 100% deal with the accountability stemmed by personal choice and selfish intent become the phoenix. Where in the end no matter what happens and no matter what happens moving forward if you survive the fish eat fish in a pond eat pond world that those both in the demise of perception cease to exist on their terms or the terms they agreed upon where rising from the ashes is not metaphorical as rising out of the ashes transforms you into your own entity where in that moment those see you as nothing other than the phoenix you are not knowing that you already know that your not the same and still have no clue why your not the same other than they are in the water and you come in and out of water will end up finding yourself respected by those who have the ability to change that fate. As in their time and once completely capable of changing the quality you currently settle for gains a completely different respect that only in resurrection the fiery phoenix rises from the ashes making a memorable impression of the phoenix she use to be. She becomes a mystical legend that only exist in fantasy. Because in a grim world, there has to be no hope for change. Right?