Silence of Our True Self – Conditioning in Bad Behavior

I always have said this and I will continue to say it but in this amazing and ever self discovering journey there is still a lot that I am learning, some about myself and so much more about the condition that we call human nature and the ripple we all cast into the universe. I owe a lot to the psychology adventure that I am embracing early as the woman that I am in keeping my word, will be going back to the classroom to in the fall of 2020. One of the many things that is constant in the human behavior is the social biology or the evolutionary psychology that we all play a role in all in the sake of our own self preservation and own survival. Many of us have conditioned our mind to focus on one thing and one thing only, ourselves. When I began this journey,

I began with the mindset that personal motive especially in self gratification was the only factor that in a common theory in study of psychology is a combination of both influence, personal choice, and material motive. One of the most important thing that I have been presented with is that the truth about the social norms we live with in America’s patriotic rose colored glasses on now getting distorted each and every moment in an individuals time of injustice, we all subconsciously live in a fight or flight 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. In the act of deflection in the lies we tell ourselves at the end of day the Achilles heel to the positive change we whether we want to admit it or not, is what we all engage in and still engage in our own presence of fight or flight; is in the end the reason why change and equality doesn’t occur.

Many will say it’s an act of inability or effort, some will debate its because humans don’t deserve mercy, and some will say in the sake of conspiracy theories that we are already brain washed to be sociopaths so we can destroy ourselves within our own social groups so those seeking absolute power can gain it without effort using the seven deadly sins as the weapons we arm ourselves with for survival made to be success and happiness. Regardless of these things, my mentality, my persona which I am most certain as each day passes regardless of the ridicule, the doubt, and the abuse that comes within my own social group, has remained and intact as the innocence that theoretically should have been lost in my early stages of trauma during my childhood, still remains less naive and now more aware and rational, that our nature which is good and pure has been set of the track in our constant fight or flight mentality. Which in many situations, the things that we willfully choose in the presence of entitlement in our selfish intent to give us that additional chance to redeem ourselves from those we demonize which is a combination of biased opinion conditioned by social norms, our social groups, and our personal life experience in hindsight turns honest people dishonest, making it more and more difficult to break away from the good we attempt to surface through faith, religion, and philanthropy just keeping us chained into the gray area that we can’t break away from, not because we can’t but because truth be told, no one has been able to successfully set a standard of how it truly looks like.

When I first started the journey I talk about in the “Journey of an Unraveled Road” there were a lot of perceptions when I started I realized were biased views of how the world appeared in other words how things are in the world. I started realizing that in the end we all want to fit in and the only way that we can achieve that is by success and happiness that the “social norms” deem appropriate. I believed that people needed to just get empowered and stop focusing on the things that don’t even matter in the end in order to gain true happiness for themselves and for others. Like always, you are not revealed things until you are finally emotionally ready to prepare for them. What I am about to say doesn’t change the hope and unconditional love I have for the human condition and although like I always say, I am not in the business of rescuing people, I will never meddle with free will as the act in egoism is ultimately the only thing that enables the need to feel unsatisfied. In a world where we want positive change and fairness, we will never get that as social norms which fueled by the Seven Deadly Sins is ultimately a world where in order for people to survive one must conserve their own worth and material values they have accrued to gain more and look down upon those who do not meet our caliber. The ugly truth is social norms are all narcissistic character.

Those who disagree with all the things I have mentioned or written and has demonized me, insulted me, or made me has engaged in egoism or what is referred to as “inflated ego” or grandiose which is a self belief in one’s evaluation of inferiority that makes them feel that “no one is greater” than them. Truth is even if you have people that you see as an “equal” you still look down to those who doesn’t meet your caliber or standard. Grandiose also correlates to a psychiatric diagnosis referred to as narcissism. Like all negative, I still will always see the positive or the light of the tunnel. Truth of the matter is, I still believe that this is unintended in many cases, but at the same time there are cases that although is in way to deep, but still have ways to disable a bad behavior that I also believe due to self preservation, is why these behavioral patterns began in the first place. At the end of the day, I feel that truth of the matter is, this behavior started to protect ourselves from the dangers of people and to shield us from the bad intentions or harm they might bring to us if we don’t find ways to prevent these individuals. Of course these characters come in all walks of life, but the most dangerous one’s are the ones we surround ourselves vulnerable, in our comfort zones, and unguarded as these individuals have already found ways to manipulate us, have poisoned us, has already hindered us. The worst part of all this, is that they live with us, they work with us, they sleep with us, and in the majority of the cases came from us.

One of things that many abusers will say “you shouldn’t let people affect you” is an enabling mechanism to allow you to accept this type of abuse. Which ultimately is psychological manipulation which is an acceptable common behavior in our social norm. The ugly truth is, this is why people become violent I believe. We tend to let people insult us, abuse us, and even intimidate us and the truth of the matter is that we let go. In a catastrophic scenario, where the effect of this particular cause affects the lives of innocent bystanders via school shootings, protests, and many other things that cost many lives. I also feel that after adolescence and going into adulthood, is why people who know better do horrible things, some in a selfish manner where children and spouses get murdered by at one point were model citizens and selfless such as terroristic attacks, where not knowing the backstory and not even caring as to where these motives stem from, leave those in pain and agony from more than likely a extremely traumatic past, where for the sake of fitting in and being accepted was the main motive, was manipulated along the way to do horrible things to innocent people that continue to do these things in their everyday life in a more passive aggressive way. Boundaries are the key to protecting yourself from this and being equal with everyone who violates those boundaries. You initially will do someone the favor as many severe cases leads to a person with an inflated ego and inflated self esteem that at that point is capable of causing harm to others in their moment of rejection. In hindsight, this is why I believe that positive change never happens. We don’t hold true to the boundaries, we aren’t sure of what is abuse and what isn’t, and even though our intuition tells us that something feels wrong, we talk ourselves out it. Many in their grandiose will immediately say “she isn’t perfect” and I will be the first to tell you, I am far from perfect. I am not aiming for perfection. I am aiming to continue to become the best me and choosing to be the outcast, as this is not the norm I want for myself. I don’t want to live my life in fear nor do I want to live my life second guessing myself. I’ve done it, I am doing, and I will continue to do it. One of the things I say in the book is that “regardless of the outcome and the treatment of others, when those in their own time are ready to take the courageous journey, I’ll be there” and I hold true to my word. I am nobody to those who will shun me, but I am a somebody to the those I have helped along the way. Because truth is, those who I am a nobody to, is a nobody to me. Truth is I am not going to manipulate you like many religous leaders do in the sake of “being saved” do as I am not going to control your free will. Ultimate power is not something I seek or want. I will not be held accountable for something traumatic that happens to you that is not your choice. Because in the end, when (and I truly hope you never do coming from the poster child of trauma) when your left alone because someone stole the self worth, in the end whether it be as a life coach or as a psychologist, or even through my books, I will be there to pick up the pieces so you never can stay silent again. Truth is, to stop silencing ourselves and protecting us from dangers, we have to identify the threats that are around us. The journey of being humble is admitting to yourself the things that have already happened and the the things you caused yourself.

Despite of all this doom and gloom, I know there is hope. Silencing ourselves from the mistreatment we accept is something that I feel is the key indicator of moving toward positive change. When you start standing up for yourself on the boundaries you establish that involve you earning from someone and vice versa empowers you in a way I can’t even explain. When you stand up for a mistreatment you would never cause someone intentionally (because you can’t help the way people feel) you feel almost superhuman. One of the things we omit in our everyday life is the common sense of respect. I’ve observed many people and due to my late post, I have been traveling around Texas and a few outside states to determine this truth. I have also dressed in various ways to see the type of reactions I would get. You would be surprised the reaction received by each perceived persona. In an attempt to be “right by God” many of them do a half ass attempt to do the right thing. There are only a very few good one’s out there who will invest time and actually do what they can to help someone, and that’s a win right there. When I asked them what compelled them to take the time, many of them all had a personal reason that affected them at one point in time, which I praised them for as many people who endure trauma become more narcissistic in the sake of protecting themselves. Many of those who admitted they did the bare minimum bought a copy of my book which I was gracious and happy to sign, writing a personal message for each that had the tone of “human nature is made to be imperfect, it’s what we do to become better people than we were” while those who were ugly verbally abuse me in their grandiose saying “you are a nobody” or “I will make sure you never get anywhere” and my response was a “oh your hurting my feelings with your inadequate and unimportant influence and existence” which in a few cases had them in handcuffs and majority of them being “religious”. But my question is if I am not that relevant then why do you have to react or result to violence? Truth is we all get judged and the perception we relay is how people view us. But because of that perception, we go to the extremes to self preserve the identity we made for ourselves. Which due to this my biggest wish and hope is that hopefully one day, we can live in a society that being you 100% you, in your beautiful imperfections not for the sake of us in the present, but for the future generations, which at the rate we are going I feel will be even more horrible a world to live in than today.

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