THE SILENCE OF OUR TRUE SELF IN SOCIALIZATION

PART 1: The Act of Conditioning

“Perception was my Achilles heel, followed by assumption which always turned out to be demise” This is how I start off the introduction for my following book “The Journey of Others on An Unraveled Road that is currently being written as we speak. I feel that this is truth for everyone living, fighting to survive. In my life, the hardest things I’ve ever had to do is continue to have the same unconditional love for the humanity and to forgive both people I hold close to my heart as well people not close to me since they in the end have no direct impact in how my life is directly, as my journey that I chose on my own terms and not one made by those who directly influence me. Through all the lies I told myself, the lie about my individuality was the hardest pill to swallow, because truth is the perception of the authentic me, was not me at all, but version of me that was easily manipulated, wasn’t sure of herself and the choices she made, always second guessing herself, and always letting herself get walked on and always serving someone’s best interest instead of hers. I as just a piece on someone’s chess board. Ultimately In the end, being easily dispensable in someone’s sacrifice in their sociopathic chess game. Always leaving me left behind to solve my own issues after being mistreated and left out to fend on my own, almost every time with almost nothing.


Truth of the matter the COVId19 had put people in the mind set of fight or flight, and the way people have expressed their fear in fight or flight has varied with one common similar action, intimidation. When called out on the act, many have shown different behaviors from denial, self sabotage in engaging in reckless behavior, and even attempted to inflict physical destructive behavior as the intended peaceful protest turned violent in San Antonio became Saturday. Truth or the matter is the ugly truth even if we don’t want to admit to ourselves that the world and the people around is starting to lose hope more and more adversity hits not just a specific demographic, but the threats are hitting to the point that it’s affecting the population as a whole. A way to deal with these threats is by acknowledging the threat and being proactive.


So it’s no secret that I am an Uber driver and it has helped my intention to reveal the ugly truth based on theories that those who always discredit my logic due to lack of credentials to assuring that the ideologies I provide are valid. Eventually i am sure that someone’s going to take it upon themselves to stop this as anyone in fight or flight will attempt. but truth is, it’s not going to stop me from revealing this truth. Naturally people will assume it’s cause I’m not happy or some bullshit, but truth is thanks to the mindset of think about yourself before you think about others may put you in a predicament that will cost you your life. Like my dads stroke that spared his life as the front line my family didn’t take his fall seriously and would of not seen the symptoms that could of cost him to potentially be paralyzed or even life, but with my assertive nature and the ambulance in their own fear of catching COVID19, could of had the EMS team drag their ass in trying to validate their own safely first which per the doctors that day told me, if you didn’t react the way you did, he would of been another non-COVID19 death this year.


Condition is the act of enabling a bad behavior. One of the acts in human nature is to condition ourselves to lie about the threats around us. A modern conditioned behavior is out of sight out mind to avoid the dangers that surround us that at any given moment have the potential to strike. But how do we recognize a threat? The only threat human nature in the modern world only recognizes is other people. An interesting fact that a psychiatrist confirmed is that the human brain has to stare at something for 10-30 seconds to compute the information given. To identify a threat in a human, it takes 30-60 seconds to analyze a human threat. Id no threat is identified, the human brain will automatically stereotype the individual and is conditioned to treat the person like everyone that is identified as such. Ugly truth, we have all stereotyped someone having us treat them like the people they have worked hard to become. If you say you never have done this, your full of shit and once again are conditioned to think such nonsense. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s human nature for us to make mistakes, it’s what you do to correct it. Which is where the entitlement that isn’t intended to be becomes. I bring this point up not to scare people, but in this era of COVID and other threats we neglect to see that springs from the forces of nature, we don’t know where everyone is in their fight or flight stage. Where if that one moment we degrade someone in our act of fight or flight might trigger something in someone to have an act occur in the effect of our cause, costing innocent people’s lives. And no matter how amazing you are at lying about the accountability you played a part in, will not excuse you on your judgement day, where if your religious will not dodge your fate in eternity. Thus why I’m in the business of not shaming, but keeping good people honest.