Last night, the most heart breaking moment happened to me last night. While finishing up my night bbqing, my fur baby Lucas went into amnesia. Lucas for 2 hours did not remember who me or my family was. A part of me died. Although today (a bit hung over since I was grieve struck) I woke up wondering what was different as this occurred once before in my Houston apartment, and then it hit me….clove oil.
I don’t remember if I used clove oil prior in the apartment as it was so far back, but since it was recent and it’s been helping me deal with whatever I had, I ended up putting clove oil yesterday. Now that l think about, since it was during the holidays, he more than likely ingested some clove as my family likes to give him a variety of table food even when I advise them not to. It doesn’t mention anything in regard to clove being toxic to dogs, but I will say the exposure has made him question his surroundings and his human mom. Although he didn’t ingest any directly, the oil was put on my comforter, which based on observation, the smell may have erased his sense of memory to smell.
The story of Lucas and I goes back three years when I was living in Houston. A Harvey rescue. I initially wanted a Yorkie, but he was cheap (free) my ex got him to keep me company during my time of working as a Small Business Executive for Sprint since most of my days were made doing cold calls to get leads, which the majority of the time kept me tied to my work laptop and having him watch me then leave after his noon walk. But the welcome wasn’t always welcomed, when I first got him, the little shit loathed me when we first got him and loved his now stepdad more. I’ve always had pets so when Ross wanted to keep him in a kennel, I protested against such cruelty, especially when he would whimper. It wasn’t till I refused to sleep in the same bed after sneaking him out of the kennel that after waking up to Lucas curled up to him and wanting him back to sleeping in the kennel is when he gave in.
The bonding started when I fell in the bathtub and when Ross got brave and grabbed my arm. This rumored poodle terrier little firecracker got brave and growled at him. When he made me leave my fur baby in San Antonio and got him back after falling into a sadness without him. The reunion made us inseparable. The bond made my ex so jealous that he ended giving me an ultimatum if him or my fur baby….well I lost a fiancée.
Before he came into my life, I didn’t want another dog as losing Grant my Yorkie, then Athena my Husky (the odd couple) then a year after my move Charlotte aka Chiquita which broke my heart when I found out she waited by the door to say goodbye (which I made it too late to give my farewell). I couldn’t fathom having a loss like that again. But I’m convinced that fate had other plans. Lucas got me through my sexual assault, my sexual harassment, and the hell that was about to occur later that year. I don’t know what I would do without him come to think about it. He certainly became my partner in crime through the ride. And after seeing the movie A Dogs Journey, made me appreciate his unconditional love.
Last night was the worst day I’ve had in a while. While listening to music to try to calm my nerves, I broke into tears hearing Marshmello and Bastille’s “Happier”. When I saw the video I cried like I lost him. Some people might say I’m being dramatic, but thinking he wouldn’t remember things, the triggers that would make him wag his tail, or play fight, or the way he would wait at the door and whimper when I would come from a jog, killed me. It was a surprise when I woke up and saw him lied next to me, which was a sign of minimal relief. He is slowly familiarizing himself, but he does remember belly rubs, he does remember snacks, and he does remember where the food bowl is. He does eat and he is popping like normal which are good signs. Truth is if clove is the magical cure, I’ll take the pain and suffering before I give Lucas up. He’s my Latin child fur baby. And if for the rest of his life he comes into amnesia, well he’s worth every moment in jogging his memory. Because without Lucas, there’s no me.