Rise above the gaslight

Hey guys, sorry for being mia. I had something a little bit crazy for the past week. I’m not 100% but I’ll take the 20% feistiness I didn’t have for the past week. Thankfully, with after the 3 years of dealing with these symptoms, I was happy to finally hear a provider even if it was a tele visit admit it potentially be a parasitic infection that many other providers both through office and we visit was gas lighted to be allergies. Maybe it’s partially true as I’ve discovered pre-pandemic was a allergy infection, which may now truly be a parasitic infection (mild when entered in the body turns to a parasite) turn viral.

Three years ago, I began experiencing some off the wall medical symptoms that I would never imagine. Starting with an eye irritaron and a cough that would never go away to fever and fainting spells which then lead to a eye discharge that was continuous, heavy, and never ending. It seemed like I was the only one seeing it. Family members questioned my mental state until my company fired me developed the most painful and appearance altering abscess I ever developed.

Before getting retaliated against from Sprint, I befriended a toxicologist and immunologist who believed he knew what was occurring with and had a long therapy that would help with assuring that whatever I’ve been exposed to in the mold filled apartment but what also mentioned anything that I was exposed to attracted while being ill. Of course with this pandemic situation makes me extremely vulnerable to COVID19 and that is a fate I don’t wish no one on.

For the past three years I’ve been dealing with the accounts I reference in my book along with this infection that comes and goes when it feels like, so faced with no health insurance as a a retaliation act made me deal with the ugliness alone. Being able to talk about what really happen at work in my book especially my boss at the time saying “I swear Frieda is you don’t stop retaliating the only thing you will do is shake your ass or give head for a living” bit like Catniss, I fought for my own health even if the odds weren’t forever in my favor. Now that my book is pending a press release, maybe that will change or in the worst case scenario get worst. Needless to say I am a fighter till the end.

One of the things I’ve noticed in this journey was that many bet of me using the power of numbers, which maybe why do many turned away. Maybe it’s just my assumption, but one thing I know is I’ve taken this journey alone, and it would take more than numbers to fight against me. Which brings my point, once you know you, the real you….you gain a power that you never could imagine.’ The power to stand alone. I never thought of myself of a leader but I read that a leader who stands alone is a key leadership quality that separates good leaders from great leaders.

Great Leaders are Prepared to Stand Alone

Funny thing is that my mindset was I had nothing to lose at this point. And that if I’m gonna go down, I’m gonna fuck shit up. Why the hell not.

In essence I write this not to boast or gain empathy but that when things seem hopeless and if you don’t have you and become codependent on numbers, why the hell fight. In a world where everyone is in it for themselves, why not become a power of one. You may lose, but at least in that aspect, you learn that you can do anything, and in the most catastrophic demise, you can say “I did it my way”.

Sincerely,

Frieda Josephine Lopez

Aka

Harvard from da Hood