Conquering With Compassion
I intended to write this blog yesterday, however with the news that my alumni who moved to New York City, New York passed away due to the catastrophic COVID-19, I had to resist as I was not in the rational mindset that I normally am in. I will say I skipped a few of the stages of grief from sadness to anger. It’s hard to me accept it, but like he always said, I was destined to be a bad ass. Which mean I have to put the tears aside and do what I do best, be a badass.
Compassion is key in this like I have preached before. With my opinionated and sharp words, people seem to take this personally, deflecting the issue at hand and making me a bad guy. Sometimes in a passive way and sometimes in an abusive way. Nothing about me would change (expect for maybe last night), which is why I refrained from creating a blog post. Funny thing is even though I feel that he could of been 100% transparent (regardless of what others think), I completely understand why he took the approach the approach he took. To prevent a national panic. Donald Trump I did tweet directly that I hate him out of the grief I felt, truth is I can’t. I can’t because of my compassion and my nature. Through my whole journey through adversity, I still can’t hate anyone that has maliciously done me wrong. I did what I had to do and took the blows in the words of the amazing and late Frank Sinatra. See as I kid I was always one of those people who always marched to the beat of my drum. Sometimes it brought praise and sometimes it bought humiliation. One thing that I can say is that we have become a society that we avoid humiliation and protect those from it. Truth is for me, it taught me a lot, made me tougher, made me stronger. Because the ugly truth is, life isn’t fair.
This is where compassion comes in. Compassion for me has worked in various ways. It made me go above and beyond the call of duty to help those who needed help. In other cases, it made me confront my attackers head on. And which each deflection I used my wits and my psychology studies ( a subject I took as an elective) to reflect the real issues they have on hand. Some of those attackers changed their ways, but like in many cases they attack the person to them is the next weakest link. Which it seems to be the same behavioral pattern that our dear President does. I am not disappointed with how people take his words as we all are adult enough to make our choices, thoughts, and control the perception we have. Even with this in mind, I can’t hate or argue with them because I can’t even imagine what or why that thought process developed. Many of us develop our thought process out of self-preservation. To self-preserve an image that we have created and will fight to hold in tact. This is why I hold compassion for Donald Trump. The things I do know is that he came from money and always had a silver spoon in his mouth. I can’t hate him because he doesn’t know any better. And his emotional outburst only make me empathize as we all know by now, he doesn’t know any better.
Compassion for me has been one of the saving graces that has conserved my humble and natural loving nature. It helps you not only gain empathy but it also helps gain personal growth. I will admit that there was a time where I justified my actions, surrounded myself with people who enabled my bad behavior. But one thing that I realized that it disabled my ability to learn, to grow, to be a better person. Maybe it was because I had nothing to lose when the ultimate adversity hit and faced it head on. Maybe it was the fact that one point I was on a way to medical death sentence and decided if this was my last rodeo, I was going to fuck shit up. I can’t tell you exactly what changed. I will say that I wasn’t afraid anymore, I became more of myself, and with every doubt people threw…..I conquered the unimaginable that I even thought I would never accomplish. Kelly Clarkson’s Invisible during writing my freshman book became my swan song. If you didn’t realize by now that I get inspired by music, I get inspired by music. If you have any interest in what inspired my book writing journey and post book journey check it out on Apple Music. If you have Apple Music, it’s free to download. I also have a talent for creating playlist according to my publisher so feel free to follow me as well.
In this time of despair, we have to stop pointing fingers, stop saying what should of been done. I’ve said it before, that shit has gone and sail. If we want to beat this pandemic, we need to stand together as we are all in this together, start pointing fingers, and leave it as water under the bridge. We need to stop thinking about our own self interest and start thinking about others. We need to stop saying this should have been done, stop demonizing one another, and start treading to the light of the tunnel. There are so many positive things that we neglect to see in this, but at the end of the day we have to start looking for the positive, without prejudice, bias, and favoritism. We got to do this not for only us, but for those we love, those who risk their lives daily, and those who have fallen. In the end, my belief; compassion will conquer all. And like Rachel Platten says in her song Stand By You….if we can’t find heaven…..I will walk to hell with you.
Frieda Josephine Lopez
Harvard from da Hood